Posted: 5/10/2004 8:07:23 AM EDT
I couldn't stop thinking about a post someone put up last week to the effect that Liv Tyler wasn't "beautiful" enough to properly play the role of Arwen in LOTR. I really liked Liv Tyler in the role for the very reason that she isn't so totally glamorous and beautiful. For me, the screen adaption of the book was convinving and enjoyable because little known actors and actresses were used. I feel that the casting helped bring the story to life and make it "real". But I couldn't stop thinking about what it might have been like if CG animation, etc. had been available in the fifties during the hayday of the "Star" system. What would LOTR have looked like if it had been made circa 1959 like an "epic" MGM spectacle like "The Ten Commandments"? I asked my alter ego, Coolio, to come up with a partial "All Star Cast" and here it is:
Gandalf - Charlton Heston
Aragorn - Cary Grant
Arwen - Marilyn Monroe
Legolas - Kirk Douglas
Boromir - Richard Burton
Faramir - Rock Hudson
Eowyn - Doris Day (!)
Galadriel - Liz Taylor
Celeborn - Montgomery Clift
Saraman - Vincent Price
Grima Wormtongue - Peter Lorre
King Theodan - Yul Bryner (!)
Steward Denethor - Edward G. Robinson (!)
Frodo and the other Hobbits could have been played by various Hollywood "character" actors including midgets like Michael Dunn whom the big studios always seemed to be able to come up with as needed.
Well, what do you think? An improvement?
Aside from Charlton Heston who just might have been able to pull off a decent Gandalf, I think the rest of it is pretty much enough to make any true blue LOTR fan hurl.
Marty Feldman- Gollum
Only if they kept Arwen's part the same size as in the book. Otherwise, My vote woul dbe for Rosemary Clooney.
Hubba hubba! Couldn't agree more.
"So let it be written, so let it be done. Forth Eorlingas!"
Nah, no hurling here. It might even have been better. Actors then didn't have lots of CGI to fall back on. More art, less tech.
In the beginning was Eru, the One....
Here's another, slightly more plausible scenario: what if Lucas and Spielberg had followed up their success with Indiana Jones by making a Lord of the Rings movie back in the mid 80s?
Theoretically, they could have used the same forced perspective technique to allow normal sized actors to play the hobbits, using Little People or children stand ins for long shots and action shots.
So who gets cast in the mid 80s?
I would choose:
Aragorn-Daniel Day Lewis
Gimli-Danny DeVito (or, alternatively, a short, stocky unknown heavily made
up with his voice dubbed in)
Saruman--Christopher Lee (hey, he was still old in the 80s and still had
Grima Wormtongue-Rowan Atkinson
Not sure about the hobbits.
Good picks, RikWriter. Only change I'd make is using Harrison Ford as Aragorn. Mid 80's, he's a big draw, and Aragorn has his swashbuckling moments.
Saw my first taste of Mr. Bean last night. Hysterical. Rowan Atkinson is a very funny "little wiggly man". I think he might be Gollum.
It would be in black and white and have crappy special effects.
Oh no! Technicolor (total saturation!) and Panavision!
And the hypothetical proposition includes the utilization of CGA.
Turned on TBS last night just in time to see Aragorn get his butt kicked by Demi Moore in GI Jane.
Glenn Close was never a decent looking woman....more like a 3 bagger.