[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Was I wrong GD? (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 4/14/2015 9:31:00 PM EDT
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Short story facts: Mom passed away 3 years ago, have a good relationship with my Dad. My Dad never had a Dad, so he has always had issues relating to me specifically....loves me but has a hard time showing it. He has four grandkids, two (my sister's) he raised and my two that he really doesn't show much interest in spending time with or relating to. Bought my sister's kids cars, now I'm struggling to buy my Son a car, now that he's 16. There is only one grandchild he really has anything to do with, the first.
I work my butt off. 60-70 hours a week (not including traffic of 2-3 hours a day) and I run a tax business out of my home on nights/weekends on top of that. I'm currently finishing my last clients as we speak. My Dad came over a couple weeks ago and I did his taxes (for free), something I do out of respect. He paid for most of my undergrad, and he's my Dad. Then the turd stiffed me out of the $10 efile fee and didn't even bother to say thanks when I was done (see the issues part above). So tonight he texts me and asks me if I can do a 'quick' return for my niece, his granddaughter (on April 14th at 8 PM). So I told him no--told him to have her other Grandfather or Dad (who are also accountants) do it. I'm not eating another $10 efile fee and taking more time away from my family to do yet another tax return for free....actually -$10. Am I being a dick? |
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Does he know about the $10 fee?
Eta: just realized what day it is (I filed months ago), I think OP is a dick for making a big deal about his Dad's fee, but I understand not wanting to do another return at the last minute especially when she has other accountants to turn to. |
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Quoted:
Short story facts: Mom passed away 3 years ago, have a good relationship with my Dad. My Dad never had a Dad, so he has always had issues relating to me specifically....loves me but has a hard time showing it. He has four grandkids, two (my sister's) he raised and my two that he really doesn't show much interest in spending time with or relating to. Bought my sister's kids cars, now I'm struggling to buy my Son a car, now that he's 16. There is only one grandchild he really has anything to do with, the first. I work my butt off. 60-70 hours a week (not including traffic of 2-3 hours a day) and I run a tax business out of my home on nights/weekends on top of that. I'm currently finishing my last clients as we speak. My Dad came over a couple weeks ago and I did his taxes (for free), something I do out of respect. He paid for most of my undergrad, and he's my Dad. Then the turd stiffed me out of the $10 efile fee and didn't even bother to say thanks when I was done (see the issues part above). So tonight he texts me and asks me if I can do a 'quick' return for my niece, his granddaughter (on April 14th at 8 PM). So I told him no--told him to have her other Grandfather or Dad (who are also accountants) do it. I'm not eating another $10 efile fee and taking more time away from my family to do yet another tax return for free....actually -$10. Am I being a dick? Sounds like you really appreciate your dad. 
You're a dick. hold up need more info ETA: Did you pay your dad back for the undergrad? How much was that, give or take? |
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Sounds like OP is hurt over the lack of the thank you, which is understandable. The $10 loss for the lack of thanks is just icing on the cake.
Maybe experience has tought him that he will not receive any type of thank you from his dad or niece again and be out another $10. Which doesn't sound unreasonable. |
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I love GD....
I figured I would get answer like: You're a dick--but for different reasons. Disown the father Disown the niece Do the taxes and his grass [had to edit to add] all Accountants are aholes.... gotta love that....partially true! 
Believe me, it's not about the $10. It's about his wanting nothing to do with my kids or not spending any time with us until he needs something. It's about having a relationship that doesn't just work when he needs something. I don't run this business for fun, I run it to put food in my family's mouth. So I'm already giving him $350 a year in free taxes, I think it's reasonable not to go backwards to give him free tax work. And truth be known, if he spent time with us or treated us like something other than H&R Block, I'd give him free efiles forever. It's not about the $10. |
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As someone that is currently pre-paying my son's college tuition at the tune of about $350/month for the next 10 years (son is 4 years old now,) I can appreciate the sacrifices that go into insuring that your child has what he needs to succeed.
Your dad sounds like he did that. Barring any emotional or family issues, your dad "walked the walk." Pay the damned $10 and be happy that you have the opportunity to do so. |
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Quoted:
I love GD.... I figured I would get answer like: You're a dick--but for different reasons. Disown the father Disown the niece Do the taxes and his grass [had to edit to add] all Accountants are aholes.... gotta love that....partially true!
Believe me, it's not about the $10. It's about his wanting nothing to do with my kids or not spending any time with us until he needs something. I don't run this business for fun, I run it to put food in my family's mouth. So I'm already giving him $350 a year in free taxes, I think it's reasonable not to go backwards to give him free tax work. Tell him. Don't wait till it's too late. And let him know you'll help out but make him take your kids to a cheap dinner. Just the three of em. 
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Quoted:
I love GD.... I figured I would get answer like: You're a dick--but for different reasons. Disown the father Disown the niece Do the taxes and his grass [had to edit to add] all Accountants are aholes.... gotta love that....partially true!
Believe me, it's not about the $10. It's about his wanting nothing to do with my kids or not spending any time with us until he needs something. It's about having a relationship that doesn't just work when he needs something. I don't run this business for fun, I run it to put food in my family's mouth. So I'm already giving him $350 a year in free taxes, I think it's reasonable not to go backwards to give him free tax work. Like somebody else said, "He's still live and you can talk to him." Maybe he will change his ways. And then he's not dead, and you can talk to him, etc. I'll send you $10 man, PM me. |
For what it's worth all the haters  I offered to let him come over tomorrow when I have all my paying clients out the door and do it.
But again, it wasn't about the $10 Tonight it was about him showing up at the very last minute, knowing how busy I am. And it is really about the fact that he doesn't spend any time with us of any significance. In fact, my 16 year old son is at an akward age and I specifically asked my Dad to make it a point to spend some time with him---go out driving, movie, dinner, etc-- and even offered to pay. But he's been running around chasing women (heck he even called to ask me tax advice for one of the women he was dating). Made no effort what so ever. It's complicated, but it's not about the $10. |
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Quoted:
For what it's worth all the haters I offered to let him come over tomorrow when I have all my paying clients out the door and do it.
But again, it wasn't about the $10 Tonight it was about him showing up at the very last minute, knowing how busy I am. And it is really about the fact that he doesn't spend any time with us of any significance. In fact, my 16 year old son is at an akward age and I specifically asked my Dad to make it a point to spend some time with him---go out driving, movie, dinner, etc-- and even offered to pay. But he's been running around chasing women (heck he even called to ask me tax advice for one of the women he was dating). It's complicated, but it's not about the $10. From this stranger's perspective (me) it seems like you need to have a heart to heart with your dad without making that big of a deal of it. Maybe it's time to heal up a lifetime of miscommunication. No matter what you choose I wish you the best. |
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a- why buy the kid a car? let him buy his own car. One simple reason....I have two cars that are 2006 and 2009 models. The cursed middle age where if they are wrecked I get nothing near the cost to buy a new one. So if junior wrecks one, I'm screwed. I need a cheap, old car to assign him to in order to keep insurance down. He's also getting a job, so he will need a car and will be paying for it. |
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Quoted:
From this stranger's perspective (me) it seems like you need to have a heart to heart with your dad without making that big of a deal of it. Maybe it's time to heal up a lifetime of miscommunication. No matter what you choose I wish you the best. Quoted:
Quoted:
For what it's worth all the haters I offered to let him come over tomorrow when I have all my paying clients out the door and do it.
But again, it wasn't about the $10 Tonight it was about him showing up at the very last minute, knowing how busy I am. And it is really about the fact that he doesn't spend any time with us of any significance. In fact, my 16 year old son is at an akward age and I specifically asked my Dad to make it a point to spend some time with him---go out driving, movie, dinner, etc-- and even offered to pay. But he's been running around chasing women (heck he even called to ask me tax advice for one of the women he was dating). It's complicated, but it's not about the $10. From this stranger's perspective (me) it seems like you need to have a heart to heart with your dad without making that big of a deal of it. Maybe it's time to heal up a lifetime of miscommunication. No matter what you choose I wish you the best. Well in one of my posts, I mentioned how I asked him to spend some focused time with my Son--his only grandson--because he was going through those teen years.....that and he's the only grandfather my son has. He made no effort what so ever. My kids LOVE it when he comes over and takes them out for an ice cream, which is beyond rare. As in all life, it's complicated. My kids have seen him buy his other grandchildren cars, clothes, vacations, pay for their college, etc......hell he even helped a complete stranger (friend of my niece) buy a car. My kids see that and ask why he doesn't do those things for them. They also ask why he never comes around to spend time with them and when he is here, can't seem to get away fast enough. That's the part for which I have no answers. |
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This isn't about $10. It's about your poor relationship with your father. I don't think its that big of an issue that you refused to do the other granddaughter's taxes, it's fucking 8:00 at night. QFT this man gets it. When my Mom passed away, he kind of got real close. Spent a lot of time with us, came over for dinner and hung out a lot. I was thrilled, it's how Dad's and Sons should act. Then he started the whole e-harmony thing and disappeared unless he needed some taxes. We have a generally good relationship, I help him with stuff and he helps me. Family, it's complicated. Definitely not about the $10, somewhat about the fact that I just completed quarter end at work and have been working nonstop on taxes....maybe I'm pissy. |