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Posted: 3/3/2001 6:13:54 PM EDT
what happened to you that changed forever the way you look at life, the world or yoursel??
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 6:31:27 PM EDT
If I had to pick an individual event, it would have to be when I finally responded to my abusive stepfather in kind.  Maybe not the correct thing to do, but the simple mentality involved required a simple and direct solution.

Why the change?  It showed me that one makes one's own way through the trials and tribulations of life.  It showed me that one need not accept circumstances simply as they are, and that we have the power to make changes when we direct our personal force properly.  

"Rage, rage against the dying of the light;
Do not go gentle into that good night."
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 6:33:52 PM EDT
My personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 8:19:43 PM EDT
When I realized what a raw deal I got and how the pit boss of life keeps spitting in my face.
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 8:24:20 PM EDT
Becoming a father.
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 8:46:44 PM EDT
Seeing all those taxes being taken out of my first paycheck
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 8:52:20 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 9:05:44 PM EDT
Reading Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, when I was about 16.
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 9:09:49 PM EDT
Many things have had a great impact on me...I will list a few...

1. my grandparents, who were kind enough to raise me for 5 years while my mother was busy being a hippie and going on 'Dead tour'...

2. my grandfather dying on my 10th b-day

3. my stepfather who was a monster

4. moving out of my parents house as a teenager (got tired of being beat on every day...literally)

5. moving to Kali

6. my first husband commiting suicide...and blaming me for it...

7. my gramma having a stroke

8. Derek rescuing me from myself...and showing me that love and trust are not a facade.  

9. the most recent, and greatest thing ever...the birth  of my son...wow, he is sooo amazing...and so worth everything shitty that happened before...

so, there is my 'almost top 10'life changing experiances...kewl topic...thanks eleftaria!![:D] ch
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 9:17:10 PM EDT
I was 19 years old, staring down the barrel of my Springfield .45 and seeing that Silvertip staring back at me, and then realizing what a pu$$y thing it would be to just give up, and how it would hurt my mother and realising that the last thing that I'd ever do would be to bring pain to her.

I decided to motor on and deal.  

I'm glad I did.


Wow...I can't believe I just posted that.

Other life change...falling in love and getting married to a woman that I love more than anything else in this life and who loves me in turn.
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 9:30:32 PM EDT
Certain chemicals and certain books.  Wont talk about the chemicals.  Will name the books: Atlas Shrugged, The Republic, Journey to Ixtlan, and As a Man Thinks.

Good on you for not offing yourself Templar. It's a really shitty and selfish thing to do.  Inflicts WAY too much pain on other people, right Bratty?
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 10:14:27 PM EDT
A beltfed machine gun. An M60 to be specific. Carry one of these in the bush for week and your cherry will be popped also.

"Happiness is a belt fed machinegun"
                           Tim Jackson circa 1987

No Slack!

Link Posted: 3/3/2001 10:20:46 PM EDT
raven - luckily for me, the books beat the chemicals. I sometimes wonder how many of my associates at that time in my life are now dead or in jail.
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 10:42:19 PM EDT

Getting my ass kicked by my father.
Kicking my father's ass.

Getting thrown in jail.
Getting out of jail.

Making piles of money.
Loosing all my money.

Interesting subject. Some kind of pattern in my life....
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 11:24:47 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 11:28:02 PM EDT
I have to admit that I was a lazy POS until I joined the Army. Now, I've got a rep at work for gettin' my sh*t done, no matter what(weather, 16 hr days, short-handed, etc). Unfortunately, I also developed a sort of weird outlook on life in general, which none of my friends (except for those here) can even begin to understand.
Link Posted: 3/3/2001 11:28:46 PM EDT
When my wife first left me we were at my parents home "talking things out" when she flat out told me she was never coming back. It felt like my world was ending, I went into my old closet where my guns were stored at the time and closed the door behind me. I got out my Dan Wesson .44 Mag and loaded a single hollow point round I closed the cylendar (sp?) with the round immediatly left of the bore and cocked the damn thing and placed it under my chin. (this revolver had been worked and had about a 24 oz single action pull with no creep) I had my finger on the trigger and was beginning to think of the reprocussions it would have on my family when I had decided it was just the wrong thing to do. My wife gets a hint of what I might be up to and bursts in and grabs the gun luckily i had just taken my finger from the trigger or I wouldn't be posting this. Now I live every day like it was my last and have never even considdered suicide again.

Link Posted: 3/3/2001 11:31:20 PM EDT
Hmm, this is easy, my father died june 24, 2000 of kidney failure due to diabetes (aka he was too damn stupid to take care of himself), mom died on Dec. 24th, 2000 [wierd huh?] from lung cancer (also to stupid to take care of self)

I realize now I will never see my parents again, my future wife will never get to meet them, they will never see me get married, they will never see their grandchildren.

Templar, I was there last month, but I refused to put my sister through that, or myself, my sister, wonderful person she is, set me up with one of her friends, I am hoping something develops, because we get along really well (too well[:D]) and I am going out with her tuesday, it helps to have something to look foward to.

I can't even legally drink yet, or buy a pistol from a dealer, and I have no parents, I have gone to a seminar on grieving held by the hospice center mom died at, and I scared the holly hell out of the 40-50 yr. olds that were there, I would like to think I prevented it from happening to another kid like myself.

it makes me all the more PO'ed when I hear about abusive parents, I would like to smack them to the ground and step on their necks till they realize how stupid they really are for violating a childs unconditional love.

Link Posted: 3/3/2001 11:32:40 PM EDT
Falling in love...

Actually shaing my heart with another person after growing up 20 years with not one shred of love from my parents or anyone else.

Then having my heart shattered into a million pieces and being called "clingy".

Ya know... no matter how much kevlar and trauma plates you put around your heart... theres always some girl out there than can pierce all that and shatter a major organ such as your heart.

Link Posted: 3/4/2001 12:00:11 AM EDT
Frank the Spank,
Ditto that, brother - no matter how much you shield yourself, you can never shield yourself from someone breaking your heart.
I have the hardest time trusting people. Sometimes I get the feeling that I can never say "I love you" again. That has to be one of the hardest things I can say with real meaning. It took me forever to even say it to my parents! Man, I feel weak for admitting that. How can I possibly love another? Well, time will tell. I just hope I'm not 50+ before I can (no offense to 50+ year old's out there).
Hang in there, chief. That goes for everyone with the guts to post true feelings to this thread...
Link Posted: 3/4/2001 12:16:32 AM EDT
I know this will sound corney to some, but here it is.

In '73 I was on staff at Boy Scout summer camp, in Nebr., as an kitchen aide, being 13.
The cook was a college girl and she wanted a tour of the camp. So off we went. As we were coming back from the lakefront we topped a hill and I saw the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen.

At that point I knew there was a God and that all my searching to discredit Him was a failure.

The memory, and discovery, of that sunset has carried me through lifes troubles. The untimely passing of my mother in '81, the search for the meaning of life in the bottom of the brown bottle, and a failed marriage.

The birth of my daughter 12yrs. ago also helped lift me out of my pit of dispair.
Link Posted: 3/4/2001 12:50:30 AM EDT
When the first girl I ever fell in love with dropped me like a hot rock on my 20th birthday -- because she "couldn't deal with the stress" of the fact that [i]my[/i] mother was dying.

That's pretty much when I decided that a) god probably did exist, because some coincidences are just too darn apt, and b) that he wasn't a god I felt like praising.
Link Posted: 3/4/2001 1:16:29 AM EDT
Certainly an interesting topic...

Though this may sound corny, I would have to say that for me, it was becoming wise to the whole guns/politics/freedom issue. I got into all this about two years ago, and my life as certainly changed. Though I am only 19, the burden of knowledge has made me become a somewhat bitter person.

I guess one other thing that has caused me to look at myself in a different light is coming to the realization that I need to grow some balls when it comes to dealing with women.

The past 1-2 years hasnt been easy, and with the way things are going for me now it doesnt look like its gonna get any better for a while.
Link Posted: 3/4/2001 2:08:56 AM EDT
watching my scuba partner get sucked into a dam outlet. feeding him air while trying to get him out. watching him die. getting sucked in also while trying to cut his gear off in a last ditch efort to get him through the outlet. having to use his body to roll myself out of the outlet. having to call his young wife and tell her that her loved one would never be coming home. kind of gave me a different outlook on life in general. how fleeting it is. how easily we can die. so enjoy it as much as possible. i like to shoot guns. suicide is a copout.
Link Posted: 3/4/2001 2:10:50 AM EDT
Starting out as a student nurse when I was seventeen, still have the pics of my first day. A kid, overweight and way too "innocent".

Within 4 years, I knew things my peers didnt know. I was managing a ward in the nightshifts, able to do advanced life support techniques without thinking twice. While my friends who where still in college(for ever and ever changing main subjects) still had the childlike innocence I lost.

Almost 11 years later, I have three specialized training courses(Recovery room, Emergency Room and Paramedic). Have witnessed birth, death and everything in between. Gives one a whole new outlook on life.

Do I have regrets, no. Would I do it again yes. I had set out a course I wanted to sail. I wanted to be a paramedic and wanted to become good at it too. Right now I am a paramedic and damn proud of it too.

Link Posted: 3/4/2001 2:28:00 AM EDT
An individual event.... not an easy prospect.

but if I had to choose... and forgive me for being a little wishy washy here...

First time I fell in love..... proved to me I wasn't unemotional.

First time my heart was broken... proved I wasn't immortal.

When I got got married... proved to me I wasn't with-out commitment (as I was in it for the long term)...

When my son was born... OMG... everything changed.  Instead of me being the center of my universe... he was.  That's when things really changed.  I don't even like his mother these days.. but the son is my legacy, and my blood.  My son is the one true and honest thing in my life.

   The rest is just life.

   Being a father cannot be replaced by any other factor.  It is number one.  As those who said it in more simplistic terms before me.  Becoming a father changes all.  In ways I cannot even begin to express.

   Becoming a dad rocks!  and sucks!... depends on your point of view...

Link Posted: 3/4/2001 2:33:21 AM EDT
You know, after thinking about this for a while longer, and reading Kuipers reply, I have to also say that my first trip to the Los Angeles County Coroners was an eye opener.

Seeing 150+ bodies in the crypts there really makes you think about death. For me, my first thought was that all those dead bodies in there were once living people who were fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, friends, etc.

Of coruse, the more times I have been there the more of a tollerance I have built up, but sometimes seeing how F-ed people can be makes one think. Just how violent and savage some poeple can be when they murder someone is amazing.

I always had a morbid curiousity about going to the Corners and seeing an autopsy, didnt think I would ever have a job that required me to go there... Now that Ive been there, and seen an autopsy, I have to say that its not as "cool" as one might expect.

I know my posts dont talk about a single event per se, but in one way or another, these three things are related.

An interesting topic indeed.
Link Posted: 3/4/2001 4:34:33 AM EDT
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM........I don't know I'll have to think about that one for a while
Link Posted: 3/4/2001 5:25:25 AM EDT
Two events that changed me and my outlook

The birth of my son, what an experience! I never knew I could Love so much. (BTW he's start's basic training this July [:)])

Having to sit down with a Doctor and have him tell me, "You're not going to make it through the Holiday's" (this was for christmas of 96!) This kind of new's will change you're world in a rush!!!!!
Link Posted: 3/4/2001 5:35:03 AM EDT
Yoshiko Nakamura...Okinawa...1964

Link Posted: 3/4/2001 5:40:17 AM EDT
For me it was working out of Zhako Iraq during OP Provide Comfort. Seeing mans inhumanity towards fellow man shook me awake. I realized what a hell hole this planet has become. It needs to be razed and start over.
Pretty calous, I know. I've been told that a few times.
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 12:01:11 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 4:39:04 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 4:47:41 AM EDT
1.First contact on patrol jumped 6 VC and a French Colonial gun runner with a sheet load of opium and gun catalogs..my buddy Sam greased three of them the escaping ones ran toward me one lowerd his AK and empty his mag all rounds went over my head or along side of me...watching the elephant grass part from fired rounds in slow mo...
2. Birth of my daughter
3. My personal relationship with Jesus Christ
4. My second wife/second chance
All these were indeed epipifanies
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 5:12:26 AM EDT
Awesome question, and phenomenal answers. This just goes to show that you [b]never[/b] know what's inside another person just by looking at the surface.

For me:

1. Getting told at 15 that I had cancer and might be dying. My mom sobbing in the chair next to me in the doctor's office.

2. Graduating from Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island. 3rd Battalion, Lima Company, Platoon 3050, June 22, 1990. Thank you SDI SSgt Lewnes, DI Sgt Fields, DI Sgt Rogers.

3. Meeting my wife and realizing that not every woman was a chrome-plated, ice-cold, mercenary user. She has really changed me for the better, without even trying. I just want to be a better man for her.

Semper Fi
Jarhead out.

“Happiness is interlocking fields of fire.”
--J.D. Smith
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 5:35:11 AM EDT
Droped out of school my senior year, went to Navy Boot Camp, and then survived HELL on Earth, S.E.A.L's.  Now I'm a cop. All this between 17 and 23.
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 5:45:06 AM EDT
I get the feeling that I can never say "I love you" again. That has to be one of the hardest things I can say with real meaning. It took me forever to even say it to my parents!
View Quote

ditto on that, i havent really known love outside of my family, its very hard to say. i know i should tell them, but i also know they know. helluva problem with us rugged guys huh!!!!!
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 5:58:04 AM EDT
number 1> I was 8 years old.  D.O.D. School.  Asked my teacher if our class will go to Vietnam to help out our guys, I kept hearing how so many guys were getting hit, I just wanted to help.  Spent the next week in the psych office being convinced to "Forget about Vietnam".

number 2> Lost cherry at 16 in the back seat of my Nova at lake Jackson, Tallahassee.

number 3>  Manning the forward 50's looking out for cuban suicide gunboats aboard the USS Suribachi in operation Agent Fury, Grenada, 1983 knowing that there were Cuban subs who would love to blow up an ammo ship in the area.

number 4>  Finding out that Wendy was Bi-sexual.
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 6:48:56 AM EDT
1. The death of my father about 5 years ago now.
He was 72 years old and I had just taken the time to get to know him.
2. Finding out that my common law wife, who I loved with all my heart, was a whore and was sleeping with anyone that wanted to.  I kicked her out thinking she had no where to go and would come crawling back. I was very wrong, she had 1/2 of the population of Houston to stay with. (any male that wanted to) I never saw her again.
3. Falling in love with and marrying my wife. I never realized how fullfilling marriage could be.
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 7:49:20 AM EDT
Do prison stories count?
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 9:00:37 AM EDT
When my little brother died.

When my dad left the family.

When I got my first AK with my own money (Still have it)

When me, my brother, and my mom lived in a car for like 2 months.

Wait. F*ck this. This is turning into a sob story.

Link Posted: 3/29/2001 9:00:54 AM EDT
Damn cybergroupies.
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 9:09:09 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Imbrog|io:
Damn cybergroupies.
View Quote

Dude, somebody has it out for you.
I'm with ya. I have dealt with it twice now.
McUZ1, not McUZI is usuallt the case.

Link Posted: 3/29/2001 11:10:09 AM EDT

Sitting in the crew compartment looking up at the stars threw the open hatch and knowing that some of us (me) were going to die and being ok with that.
View Quote

Rock of the Marne??  


Hunter out...
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 11:26:10 AM EDT
hmmm... never told anyone this, but the day my GF left me i went home and put the 870 in my mouth, i thought to my self whats the point, its just great knowing that no matter how u feel somebody else will shit on u and ruin your life. better yet is that everybody is in it for themselves. i dont know why i didnt do it, i just sat there for 10 min. and thought and thought. guess the happy days of being a kid are over, cause this bullshit sucks
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 11:36:22 AM EDT
As clear as when it happened in 1989.  The sight of 30' of guard-rail sticking out the back of that station-wagon, not one inch without blood spatter.  

Looking directly into the face of the 21 year old kid, nearly ripped in half as the rail came up from below the firewall and right through him..

Right then I knew that there was no god and I would be worm meat too some day ...

Makes food taste better, the cool grass feel great and the clear summer night sky seem perfect...

who wants to live forever anyway.

Link Posted: 3/29/2001 11:48:58 AM EDT
When I dropped my bread and the damn thing landed butter-down on the f*cking carpet.
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 11:53:15 AM EDT
When my FirstBorn Daughter was a few months old and I realized she was looking back at me with recognition, and, it was like looking at myself in a strange sort of way, knowing she was part of me, and I was part of her.
It reminded me of the trick with two mirrors and reflections into infinity.  WEIRDNESS.
After that, all kinds of strange and wonderful thoughts crossed my mind.  I started thinking about how all people start out this way.  My Mom; HER Mom; and so on...
Not that it sent me into some kind of Humanitarian LoveFest mode, I mean, I still have reservations about some folks.
This makes me think a new topic should be started:  "At what point in your life did you decide to become an A$$HOLE?"
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 12:10:17 PM EDT
Whew!! Some of you guys really been through a wringer! I can't imagine anything being bad enough to put something in my mouth that would make an extremely messy aftermath, both in the physical and spiritual senses.

Had a friend whose Air Force Colonel father went into the bedroom after Thanksgiving dinner and put a 30.06 under his chin.  My friend's been in and out of therapy since it happened (in 1968!!!) and his sister became the Camp Whore, the left for parts unknown. What a legacy!

I have some acquaintances that were abandoned by their stoned parents and turned over to other family members that drew straws to see who could rape the young girls first. This sick scenario continued until the girls were old enough to be believed by the authorities.  Then they were just booted from the house out onto the street.

The girls are kinda' angry adults now (no surprise), but they're not in prison, they're not turning tricks or dancing topless, and they're not on drugs.

[b]They're in church![/b]

So, what changed my life?  In order of impact:

1. Jesus.
2. Births of my daughter and granddaughter.
3. Deaths of my parents.

Eric The Hun

Link Posted: 3/29/2001 12:16:03 PM EDT
I got married and, like Rickwriter said, I became a father.
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 12:32:43 PM EDT
A Playboy and a jar of vaseline.


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