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Posted: 6/6/2009 6:24:53 PM EDT
Q:    How do farmers find their sheep in long grass?
A:     Very satisfying.
     

Q:    What do you call 4 sheep tied to a lamppost?
A:     A leisure center.
     

Q:    Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A:     Sheep can hear zippers.

Q:    When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Q:    What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?
A:    Mick Jagger says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
      The Scotsman says, "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"
   

Q:    How do you get a sheep to push harder?
A:    Face it toward a cliff.

Q:    Why do the horses run so fast in New Zealand?
A:    Because they know what's done to the sheep!
   

Q:    Did you hear about the shepherd who committed suicide?
A:    He heard the song, "There'll Never Be Another Ewe."

Q:    Did you know that they've just discovered two new uses for sheep?
A:    Meat and wool.

Q:    What is the smallest organ in a sheep?
A:    A shepherd's tallywhacker.


Q:   What's the difference between a sheep and a Yugo?
A:   It's marginally less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back
      of a sheep.

Q:   Where does virgin wool come from?
A:   Ugly sheep!    
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 6:28:04 PM EDT
[#2]
Quoted:


Q:    How do you get a sheep to push harder?
A:    Face it toward a cliff.





holy shit i lost it on that one!

Link Posted: 6/6/2009 6:30:06 PM EDT
[#3]
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 6:30:58 PM EDT
[#4]
Quoted:


Q:    When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

   


You are missing the punch line.....
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 6:32:37 PM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
Quoted:


Q:    When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

   


You are missing the punch line.....


No, he's not
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 6:32:38 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
Quoted:


Q:    When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

   


You are missing the punch line.....


Umm, I think you did....
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 6:32:43 PM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
Quoted:


Q:    When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

   


You are missing the punch line.....


Doesn't wool shrink in the rain?
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 6:34:10 PM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:


Q:    When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

   


You are missing the punch line.....


Doesn't wool shrink in the rain?


I guess I don't know much about sheep.  So what makes it so funny?

Link Posted: 6/6/2009 6:36:50 PM EDT
[#9]
Quoted:

I guess I don't know much about sheep.  So what makes it so funny?



Wool comes from sheep.
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 6:54:21 PM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:
Quoted:

I guess I don't know much about sheep.  So what makes it so funny?



Wool comes from sheep.


I am half retarded.

Link Posted: 6/6/2009 7:45:25 PM EDT
[#11]
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 8:48:01 PM EDT
[#12]
Did you hear? Folks from Montana found a new use for sheep...



WOOL


Sir James...


and so not to piss anyone off from the Big Sky I grew up there
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 8:49:51 PM EDT
[#13]
Mr Papadopolis decided to have some land cleared out of his olive grove.

He hires a contractor to come and remove a large number of trees.

He points and tells the contractor "Don't take that tree out. That's where I lost my virginity."

Contractor says "Ok, that's fine."

Then Mr. Papadopolis says "And leave that one right there next to it as well. That's where her mother was when I lost my virginity."

The contractor says "Ok, that's fine too... I am curious though... her mother was there, when you lost your virginity??"

Mr. Papadopolis says "That's correct."

The contractor asks "Did her mother say anything? I mean... that's just... not right... "

Mr. Papadopolis scratches his head and says "Yes, yes she did say something.  I think she said 'Baaaaa"

Link Posted: 6/6/2009 8:51:24 PM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

I guess I don't know much about sheep.  So what makes it so funny?



Wool comes from sheep.


I am half retarded.



Half?
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 9:03:29 PM EDT
[#15]
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



Means NO
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 9:07:14 PM EDT
[#16]


Link Posted: 6/6/2009 9:10:10 PM EDT
[#17]
A traveling salesman is driving through the country to get to his next appointment, and as he passes a pasture, he sees a farmer buggering the hell out of a sheep.
He pulls up to the next farmhouse he sees, runs up to the door and starts knocking.
A little boy about 8 years old comes to the door and asks what he can do.
The salesman is a state of high excitement tells the little boy,
"QUICK! I've got to use your phone to call the cops! There is a man in the field next to your house having sex with a sheep!!"
To which the little boy replied,
" Oh That? Don't worry, its just my Daaaaaaaad"
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 9:10:58 PM EDT
[#18]
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 9:43:20 PM EDT
[#19]
Forgot this one, it's my favorite!



Link Posted: 6/6/2009 9:52:09 PM EDT
[#20]
Link Posted: 6/6/2009 9:56:48 PM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

I guess I don't know much about sheep.  So what makes it so funny?



Wool comes from sheep.


I am half retarded.



It's fun to watch it slowly unfold.....



Link Posted: 6/6/2009 10:02:39 PM EDT
[#22]


Link Posted: 6/6/2009 10:16:13 PM EDT
[#23]
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 4:56:59 AM EDT
[#24]
What do elephants use for Tampons?.....

(Do I have to say it?... )

Tomac
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 6:01:47 AM EDT
[#25]
The problem with kissing sheep is they have baaad breath.

Link Posted: 6/7/2009 6:06:17 AM EDT
[#26]


Link Posted: 6/7/2009 6:17:14 AM EDT
[#27]
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 6:27:57 AM EDT
[#28]
Apologies to Arkansas members............................................

Arkansas - Where men are men and sheep are nervous!

PursuitSS
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 6:39:25 AM EDT
[#29]
What is a sheep farmer's favorite invention?

Velcro gloves.
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 6:44:33 AM EDT
[#30]
I got one:

A tourist was going through the back roads of Scotland when he happened upon a quaint little village. Passing a stone wall, and a gorgeous stone church, he stopped at a pub and decided to take in the local color.

He goes up to the bar and orders a pint. A few minutes later, a half drunk local slides up next to him at the bar. "Aye let me ask you something. Did you see that stone wall on your way into town?"

"I did, it was very nice."

"I build that wall with my own two hands, but do they call me McDonald the Wall Builder - noooooooo." He takes another gulp of his pint and continues, "Did you see St. Stephens when you came in?"

"The Church? I did, it was gorgeous!"

"I built that too, but do they call me McDonald the Church Builder - noooooooo!" He takes a shot and chases it with half a pint. "But you fuck one sheep -"
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 7:28:51 AM EDT
[#31]
What do elephants use for Tampons?.....

(Do I have to say it?... )

Tomac


Q:  Why do elephants have trunks?

A:  Because sheep don't have strings!!
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 9:07:24 AM EDT
[#32]

Pro's and Con's of Sheep Fucking:

Pro's......
They don't tell....
They don't swell....
They appreciate it like hell !!!!


Con's.....
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 9:10:44 AM EDT
[#33]
I 'd


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