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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/1/2005 8:30:37 PM EDT
Have any of you ever been absolutely blindsided by someone telling you that a friend, co-worker, relative, or former teammate is gay...and you had no idea whatsoever? I never have and I'm middle aged. Surely I must know someone that changed teams along the way, yet not one single name comes to mind. Is my experience pretty common or an aberration?
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:31:15 PM EDT
no, its usually pretty painfully obvious
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:32:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:
no, its usually pretty painfully obvious



He said as he lay in a puddle of trout juice.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:33:22 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:38:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By geegee:
Have any of you ever been absolutely blindsided by someone telling you that a friend, co-worker, relative, or former teammate is gay...and you had no idea whatsoever? I never have and I'm middle aged. Surely I must know someone that changed teams along the way, yet not one single name comes to mind. Is my experience pretty common or an aberration?



Most of my friends had no clue before I came out to them. Pretty much unless you live by yourself on a island....you know someone who's LGBT.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:39:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:
no, its usually pretty painfully obvious


Okay, so then would you say that my experience is fairly typical, or is it atypical? And are you then saying that you knew someone who did switch, but you spotted the behavior changes along the way, and so then weren't surprised when it was finally confirmed? That's all I'm getting at.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:40:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By StonerStudent:

Originally Posted By geegee:
Have any of you ever been absolutely blindsided by someone telling you that a friend, co-worker, relative, or former teammate is gay...and you had no idea whatsoever? I never have and I'm middle aged. Surely I must know someone that changed teams along the way, yet not one single name comes to mind. Is my experience pretty common or an aberration?



Most of my friends had no clue before I came out to them. Pretty much unless you live by yourself on a island....you know someone who's LGBT.



What does 'lgbt' mean?

left, gone. back tuesday.?
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:40:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By StonerStudent:

Originally Posted By geegee:
Have any of you ever been absolutely blindsided by someone telling you that a friend, co-worker, relative, or former teammate is gay...and you had no idea whatsoever? I never have and I'm middle aged. Surely I must know someone that changed teams along the way, yet not one single name comes to mind. Is my experience pretty common or an aberration?



Most of my friends had no clue before I came out to them. Pretty much unless you live by yourself on a island....you know someone who's LGBT.


How old were you when you decided to make it public?
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:44:59 PM EDT
Only once, in high school. I could not fucking believe it. The guy was bound to graduate from Harvard and marry a trophy wife.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:47:48 PM EDT

Originally Posted By geegee:

Originally Posted By StonerStudent:

Originally Posted By geegee:
Have any of you ever been absolutely blindsided by someone telling you that a friend, co-worker, relative, or former teammate is gay...and you had no idea whatsoever? I never have and I'm middle aged. Surely I must know someone that changed teams along the way, yet not one single name comes to mind. Is my experience pretty common or an aberration?



Most of my friends had no clue before I came out to them. Pretty much unless you live by yourself on a island....you know someone who's LGBT.


How old were you when you decided to make it public?



How was the fall out? *grabs popcorn*
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:52:03 PM EDT
A friend of mine , A guy I knew for 30+ years .

He was married with 2 kids when about 5 years ago
he asked the wife for a divorce because he wanted to
start batting for the other team
I never had a clue , as did anyone else including
his wife .

He is still my friend and we have talked about it , but
I will never understand the attraction to another male .
It still skeeves me out when I see them together , even
though they don't flaunt it in public , as far as I've seen ....
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:55:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By geegee:

Originally Posted By StonerStudent:

Originally Posted By geegee:
Have any of you ever been absolutely blindsided by someone telling you that a friend, co-worker, relative, or former teammate is gay...and you had no idea whatsoever? I never have and I'm middle aged. Surely I must know someone that changed teams along the way, yet not one single name comes to mind. Is my experience pretty common or an aberration?



Most of my friends had no clue before I came out to them. Pretty much unless you live by yourself on a island....you know someone who's LGBT.


How old were you when you decided to make it public?



about 34ish
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:01:11 PM EDT
I knew a guy who totally surprised me. I grew up around him, he was a good guy and I trusted him....then one day I find out he wants to pound me in the caboose.

Father Tim, I'll never forgive you.

Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:01:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By NimmerMehr:

Originally Posted By geegee:

Originally Posted By StonerStudent:

Originally Posted By geegee:
Have any of you ever been absolutely blindsided by someone telling you that a friend, co-worker, relative, or former teammate is gay...and you had no idea whatsoever? I never have and I'm middle aged. Surely I must know someone that changed teams along the way, yet not one single name comes to mind. Is my experience pretty common or an aberration?



Most of my friends had no clue before I came out to them. Pretty much unless you live by yourself on a island....you know someone who's LGBT.


How old were you when you decided to make it public?



How was the fall out? *grabs popcorn*



Not as bad as I thought it would be......only one fight [my brother] and fag or not I can still kick his ass
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:26:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By chrome1:
A friend of mine , A guy I knew for 30+ years .

He was married with 2 kids when about 5 years ago
he asked the wife for a divorce because he wanted to
start batting for the other team
I never had a clue , as did anyone else including
his wife .

He is still my friend and we have talked about it , but
I will never understand the attraction to another male .
It still skeeves me out when I see them together , even
though they don't flaunt it in public , as far as I've seen ....


See, now that's kind of interesting. If it were your spouse or SO, that would pretty well change your relationship for good. But if it were a really close friend, and you still had no idea, then how would your relationship change? Or would it just end?
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:33:03 PM EDT
One guy in my HS class I found out about 30+ years later. Turns out my Godfather is going to marry his widowed former mother-in-law.

That said most of the guys I knew that were a little funny (effeminate) at the time, and now recognize as effeminate gays, turned out to be gay. Not all, some were just smart and nerdish, but straight. This other guy was the first that came out later and surprised people. Considering he dated girls and was married and had a few kids was pretty good cover.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:33:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 5:15:29 PM EDT
I dunno... I've had people REALLY thinking I'm trying to "pull their leg" when I tell them... no one has really "shocked" ME... but then I "came out" at a pretty young age... at least for THAT "day and age"... today I'd be "behind the times" ... but back THEN I was young. second youngest woman I knew of anyway. At least for a few years.

I think MOST str8 folks TEND to be "shocked" when/if they find out. BUT. If you are in a "small-town" atmosphere, PROBABLY all the GLBTQ folks migrated to friendlier areas (big city). I did practically the DAY I turned 18. So IF you're in a "small town" area... NO, I'd say pretty "typical" if however you're in/NEAR a "big city"... it IS a tad odd... unless you tell "quer jokes" and talk shit a lot about "queers" etc... then probably anyone who MIGHT, doesn't. <shrug>


Originally Posted By NimmerMehr:

What does 'lgbt' mean?

left, gone. back tuesday.?



Lesbian Gay Bisexual or Transgendered may also have a "Q" which stands for "Questioning".


Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Only once, in high school. I could not fucking believe it. The guy was bound to graduate from Harvard and marry a trophy wife.



Well, trophy WIFE, trophy boyfriend... semantics

Link Posted: 8/4/2005 5:34:14 PM EDT
Had a friend that left his wife and daughters for another man. That was a shocker!! Have a number of gay and lesbian friends, don't see the issue some people have.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 5:42:50 PM EDT
So who's going to the superbowl this year.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 5:49:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mtchristman:
So who's going to the superbowl this year.



It ain't the packers that's for sure...........


Sgat1r5
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 5:52:08 PM EDT
After I graduated HS, one of my best friends came out, and the crazy thing is, after that about 3 other guys I knew came out. I found out about all of them within about a week of each other, I walked around in daze for nearly a week after that. I'm ok with it now, we even joke about it. He's always making cracks about how I'm so damn ugly
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 5:54:14 PM EDT
pretty much anyone I ever knew that was gay it was pretty clear to everyone else that they were gay. Once one "came out" and everyone was like: "duh! You just now figured that one out??"
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 5:54:43 PM EDT
Yep, one of my co-workers...known him for years, just never knew.

Didn't bother me. He's a cool guy, went to some work parties at his place (former boss leaving, etc)...his SO is pretty cool, and they just had some kids (artifical insemnation, they have twins).

Honestly, their relationship seems more stable than some of my married friends.

Funny enough though, he's in NYC, and almost totally conservative or almost libertarian in his views. And, he's an Israeli. Strange, but true. One time he asked me about CIII gun laws and such, and about the whole AWB and whatnot...after I spent the hour explaining the laws, then explaining the particulars, then explaining the exceptions and whatnot...he shook his head and wondered why the hell we put up with that bullshit. As far as he's concerned. everyone who's able should go through mandatory training before being able to get anything, and once they take the training, they should be able to buy anything. Up to and including crew-served weapons, etc. After all, your local psycho probably won't sign up for a $500 training course.


He's also one of the few guys in the office who has no problems smacking people down when they get too big for their britches. He's awesome.

I've met some real flamers, and I'm sure I've met some people totally under the radar. It doesn't bother me.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 6:07:07 PM EDT
Yeah, guy I knew for years. We dated the same girls in high school and everything. Then I see him a few years after HS andwe're just having a normal conversation and he just mentions that he's living with his "boyfriend." You could have pushed me over with a feather I was so shocked. His parents disowned him and kicked him out, family won't speak to him now that he's "out." Shocking, and sad.

Link Posted: 8/4/2005 6:12:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By mtchristman:
So who's going to the superbowl this year.



It ain't the packers that's for sure...........


Sgat1r5



I think the Oilers get there first
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 6:22:30 PM EDT
I had a co-worker who advised me that he was gay while we were drinking a few beers with a bunch of other employees after work one day.....his "partner" was going to be arriving shortly, and he didn't want to put anyone in an akward situation.

The partner was gay enough to set off radar, but the co-worker was stealth.

I had only started working there maybe 6 mos before, and left shortly thereafter for another job, but we still keep in touch.

They have been together as a couple for like 8 yrs, have a million dollar house in Arlington.

The effeminate one is the son of a Baptist preacher in Danville VA.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 6:34:42 PM EDT
A few surprises:

1) One of my teachers and grade school principals. He only came out after his mother had died, he was 50+.
2) A co-worker, effeminate, but married for 20 years, plenty of adopted special needs kids. Very good Mormon, but came out to me after his divorce.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 6:46:20 PM EDT
Girl I took to my prom "decided" she was gay and told me that night. No pie for me. She switched back after a year or so when she realized she had just been reacting badly to a couple breakups (not me) she had gone through and was convinced she was gay by her "friend", who was, I'm convinced, looking for a trophy GF. She was real pretty.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 6:49:28 PM EDT
Me and some other people had someone we guess was gay, he got arrested at a truck stop trying to get a blowjob from an undercover male cop. He took a leave of absence for a month. You know, some people just arent right in the head, and we had this one figured.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 7:01:28 PM EDT
A guy i went to high school with total jock...............cool as hell well after high school hadn't talked to many folks afterwards till i saw an old friend and she had gone to the reunion and he not only went gay he went and had some surgery as well.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 7:04:15 PM EDT
Honestly, I think I've been more surprised to find out someone is NOT gay. I've known a few people I thought were gay and can't believe they're straight.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 7:12:43 PM EDT
Im Goin' Huntin', Mabey Do A Bit Of Fishin' After This One.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 7:13:50 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 7:20:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PBIR:

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:
no, its usually pretty painfully obvious



He said as he lay in a puddle of trout juice.



too funny!!!
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 7:24:57 PM EDT
Some ARFcommers have been in the closet for so long they're starting to find Christmas presents.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 7:27:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By james4208:
Girl I took to my prom "decided" she was gay and told me that night. No pie for me. She switched back after a year or so when she realized she had just been reacting badly to a couple breakups (not me) she had gone through and was convinced she was gay by her "friend", who was, I'm convinced, looking for a trophy GF. She was real pretty.




And you believe that story?

Ahahahhahahahahahahahahahah
­

Sgat1r5
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 7:31:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By james4208:
Girl I took to my prom "decided" she was gay and told me that night. No pie for me. She switched back after a year or so when she realized she had just been reacting badly to a couple breakups (not me) she had gone through and was convinced she was gay by her "friend", who was, I'm convinced, looking for a trophy GF. She was real pretty.




And you believe that story?

Ahahahhahahahahahahahahahah
­

Sgat1r5



Well the good news is we now know what causes homosexuality........bad prom dates
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 7:49:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Bellona:
Honestly, I think I've been more surprised to find out someone is NOT gay. I've known a few people I thought were gay and can't believe they're straight.



+1

I've thought: "No one can have fashion sense like that and not be gay."

I saw a patient last November. I casually asked if he was doing anything special for Thanskgiving. He was going to his boyfriend's house to meet his parents (who were hopelessly trying to set him up with girls for several years). The boyfriend's sister had repeatedly told her parents that her brother was gay but it didn't seem to sink in. They were going to 'come out' to the boyfriend's parents that weekend.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 7:49:51 PM EDT
A few, though upon further reflection neither were total out of the blue shockers.

One was a HS friend (not a close friend but we hung out in the same crowd, etc). He was the somewhat femme, sensitive art/theater/band type. His girlfriend thru HS was a semi-butch girl who was in band/drama also. Didn't really think much of it at the time but a few years after HS I heard he was gay...and so was she. Duh, they acted as each other's "beard" in the podunk town until out of school. Doesn't change how I feel about them: he's still a cool guy, she's still a raging bitch.

Another girl from my HS came out but I didn't know her that well. When I heard the name I thought it was her cousin (also in the same HS). The cousin was so butch I thought she was a guy the first time I met her.....but she's just a real butch tomboy redneck girl who's now married with kids.

A friend's sister's boyfriend came out not too long ago. They had been together for a long while & he finally realized it. She was stunned but after I heard about it I wasn't. He did put off some serious "gay" vibes: He liked techno/dance/pop music though everybody else in the group were metalheads.....he wore "Daisy Dukes" skin tight cut-off shorts & mid drift t-shirts (pastel colored shirts at that)...very flamboyant mannerisms....neat freak...drank foofy mixed drinks with umbrellas instead of beer, etc. None of which=gay when taken by themselves but added together

Dated a girl who out of the blue mentioned that she liked to play for both teams. But we weren't in a serious relationship & have gone our seperate ways. Not because she was bi, mostly because she was a hedonistic stoner burnout. Didn't want or need the drama no matter how good the pie was or the potential for a three-way with one of her girlfriends.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 8:14:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Bellona:
Honestly, I think I've been more surprised to find out someone is NOT gay. I've known a few people I thought were gay and can't believe they're straight.



Hey, they may NOT be straight... after all... Barbara Stanwyck and Robert Taylor had a "lavender marriage", designed to conceal the fact that both were homosexual. After her death, it was revealed that she in fact had had affairs with women. So just because someone you "thought" WAS and they "got married" they could just be an EXTREME closet case.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 9:16:53 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/4/2005 9:25:05 PM EDT by gitarmac]
Originally Posted By Kacer:
I dunno... I've had people REALLY thinking I'm trying to "pull their leg" when I tell them... no one has really "shocked" ME... but then I "came out" at a pretty young age... at least for THAT "day and age"... today I'd be "behind the times" ... but back THEN I was young. second youngest woman I knew of anyway. At least for a few years.

I think MOST str8 folks TEND to be "shocked" when/if they find out. BUT. If you are in a "small-town" atmosphere, PROBABLY all the GLBTQ folks migrated to friendlier areas (big city). I did practically the DAY I turned 18. So IF you're in a "small town" area... NO, I'd say pretty "typical" if however you're in/NEAR a "big city"... it IS a tad odd... unless you tell "quer jokes" and talk shit a lot about "queers" etc... then probably anyone who MIGHT, doesn't. <shrug>

Originally Posted By NimmerMehr:

What does 'lgbt' mean?

I guess I'm the oddball, I've only been involved with women from small towns and the few times I've lived in the big city I couldn't wait to leave, I would hardly call them friendlier areas, I don't even like the one I'm in now. There is a paper mill in a nearby small town, my "roomate" works there, and there is no shortage of lesbos there.

Of course all small towns are not the same. I'd rather take my chances with the rednecks than the gangbangers any day of the week.

Link Posted: 8/4/2005 9:24:01 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/4/2005 9:25:40 PM EDT by gitarmac]
double tap
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 9:30:45 PM EDT

PROBABLY all the GLBTQ folks


What hell is.........Q


They keep adding letter to the damn name...I can't even fiqure what they talking about anymore.
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