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Posted: 1/31/2001 5:42:23 PM EDT
We have all seen the well-attired AR Man. He is a man about town whose taste is of the highest order; and well groomed he is. You may see him sashaying about town with carry handle, or if he is making a fashion statement, a flat top. He may carry a strap; be it synthetic or leather. He may carry an assault sling or perhaps choose something less dramatic in a 550 chord.

He always keeps his AR meticulously clean, pausing to clean after every shot to maintain reliability and accuracy. Only the AR Man cleans his weapon after dry firing…. That is how dedicated he is. Seldom do you ever see an AR Man without his cleaning kit. He usually has one in the butt of his AR, a spare in his pack and sometimes a spare spare in his pocket. His cleaning kit contains rods, and spare rods, brushes and spare brushes, pipe cleaners, patches and eyeliner. It usually contains spare ejectors, extractors, springs and screws, pins and needles. One can find spare firing pins, spare trigger groups and even spare bolts. The AR Man often keeps these spares in the hollow pistol grip to ensure a speedy tactical repair. You can never know when you may need to spiffy things up before an engagement!

The AR Man is also well lubricated. He has CLP for temperate days; he has LAW for frigid days; he has Graphite for hot dusty days. The aftermarket lubrications abound and the AR Man always stays well lubricated. You can always spot an AR Man as he always has his hand on a rag to wipe the spittle dripping from his weapon…. Somewhat akin to Louis Armstrong as he plays his trumpet. In fact, when totally submerged in CLP the AR Man and weapon are at their happiest.

But it is in Accessories that the well-attired AR Man sets the world on fire. The AR Man loves accessories. He has scopes, and ACOGs; IR and Holographic; Lasers, and Flashlights; Grenade launchers, and Extensions; Picitinnies, and Weavers; ITT’s and Vortex; Muzzle Breaks and other toys to play with. He is continually changing himself and his environment. Never board, forever adaptable. He can prepare himself for water, for desert, for night, for space, for snow........for indoors, for outdoors, for cramped conditions, for practically any evening’s entertainment he may choose. He can even change his form; from 14.5”, to 16” to 20” to 24” and beyond. He may be fluted, or bull or heavy on the outside, light underneath, or skinny all over. He may even be all of the above with an M4 adaptation. Whatever the occasion calls for, the AR Man is never underdressed for a party.

The AR Man is forever flexible, as his Magazines are never happy. He can choose Coopers or Sanchez; Okays or Adventure; Parsons or Colt. He may expand with Steel, or Orlite; or venture out with Thermold. Each AR Man and weapon have their own taste and idiosyncrasies. Moody are his tastes; for one day the AR may prefer Parsons, or order Okay; they may call out for Adventure, but never condone Cooper. The most important requirement however, is that his lips must forever be straight and his tummy must not bulge. He can choose from black follower, steel follower or green follower; or in some cases, may find no follower. He can choose from GI to aftermarket, from Israeli to Canadian. He can choose new springs, old springs, steel springs or thick springs. The AR Man is forever flexible because from one day to the next he does not know which flavor of magazine his AR will request. And heaven forbid if he were to mistakenly, surreptitiously sit on a San
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