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Posted: 5/13/2002 7:38:15 PM EST
Another one I found in the shoebox. If you are infantry enjoy.

Himself:  A stout, highley trained
         professional  killer and a female
         idol, who wears a star sapphire ring,
         carries a finely honed survival
         knife, is covered with a crisp field
         cap and is always on time due to his
         reliability of his Seiko watch.

His wife: A stinking, gross, crude,
         foul-mounthed bum, who arrives home
         every once in a while with a bag of
         filthy BDU's, a huge ugly watch, a
         survival knife, a filithy old hat and
         a hard-on.

HQ:       A drunken, brawling, jeep stealing,
         woman corrupting liar, with a
         sapphire ring, Seiko watch, survival
         knife and a gross looking cap on his

His CO:   A fine specimen of a drunken,
         brawling, jeep stealing, woman
         corrupting bullshitter with a ring, a
         knife, a fantastically accurate Seiko
         watch and a floppy hat.

DA:       An overpaid, over-rated tax burden
         who is; however, indespensable since
         he will volunteer to go anywhere and
         blow things up, as long as he can
         drink, brawl, steal jeeps, corrupt
         woman, kick dogs, lie, sing dirty
         songs and wear filthy BDU's, star
         sapphire rings, suvival knife, seiko
         watches and unauthorized hats.

Well, at least some of its true. Never seen the dog kicked.

Link Posted: 5/14/2002 4:53:48 AM EST
Boy did that bring back memories.
TOW I'm assuming you were a 11H too ever spend any time at Ft.Hood?

E co 2/5 Cav 1 CD Ft.Hood
Link Posted: 5/14/2002 5:06:26 AM EST
Another TOW Gunner here. I used the jeep mounted ITOW & TOW2 in the mid '80's.

D CO. 3/505th PIR, 82nd, Ft Bragg
Link Posted: 5/14/2002 6:32:06 AM EST
Actually, thats an OLD Air Cav thing.

Headquarters: An elitist prick. A drunken, brawling, woman corrupting, hard flying ass kicker with faded jungle fatigues, illegal mustache, a yellow neckerchief, a sword and a brown cowboy hat. "His high number of KBA’s helps us overlook the little indiscretions".

His Commander: A fine specimen of an elite, drunken, brawling, woman corrupting, hard flying butt kicker in a barely serviceable uniform, with a slightly marginal mustache, a nifty looking yellow Cav scarf, a dress saber, and a tan Cavaly hat. "All of those KBA’s are dandy and are direct reflections on me and enhances my career. I may make Major General"!

Himself: A stout hearted, handsome, highly trained professional killing machine. Suave and debonair (swavy & deboner), a true male God to all females, he wears jungle fatigues that were tailored downtown while he was "entertaining" at "Ci Ci’s Steam & Cream". He earned his grubby yellow scarf by drinking from D Troop’s special "cup" and can still smell some of the contents which stuck in his long droopy mustache. The saber is razor sharp and ready for that rare chance of a "Saber Kill". He wears the Silver-belly Tan Stetson that he paid 30 hard earned bucks for and waited three months for the mail to deliver. He’s proud to be in a unit like this even if they won’t let him get KBA’s at Christmas time.

His wife/girlfriend/rented companionship during R&R: A skinny, gross, crude, foul-mouthed bum with a hard-on who showed up drunk and with the clap. "He started peeling the uniform off at the airport, all but the nasty yellow rag around his neck and that mangy looking gray cowboy hat. What we won’t do for money or a trip to Hawaii. What the hell is a KBA?"

Department of the Army: An overpaid, over sexed, over-rated tax burden who is indispensable but expendable. He will volunteer to go anywhere as long as he can drink, brawl, corrupt women, fly and fight. He sings dirty party songs in the presence of VIPs, wears un-military looking uniforms, grows unauthorized facial hair, wears unauthorized neck accouterments, carries unauthorized edged weapons at inappropriate times and flaunts his unauthorized head gear. Hell, he doesn’t even wear the right color of unauthorized head gear. But… He gets results and KBA’s make good press.

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