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Posted: 8/23/2017 11:46:26 AM EDT
[#1]
Why did she have an affair?
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Posted: 8/23/2017 11:48:23 AM EDT
[#2]
Quoted:
Long story short. She had an affair we tried reconciliation for 7 months. It's over papers to be filed soonly. 12 years together married 10 3 kids. What say yall I'm sorry this happened to you. when the initial pain of the separation and divorce are over you will be happier single than you ever could have been had you stayed married knowing she cheated. Going forward this is a business transaction. Treat it as such. there is no room for emotion when you are dividing up assets. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 11:48:25 AM EDT
[#3]
Fuck if I know. She got close with my sons Cub Scout leader. One thing leads to another.......
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Posted: 8/23/2017 11:50:31 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Why did she have an affair? 
Are you implying that its the OPs fault somehow that she cheated? Because that's how that question comes across. The only person that could possibly know why is the cheater and usually they don't fully understand why. Plus a cheater could never be trusted to honestly communicate why. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 11:52:40 AM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Are you implying that its the OPs fault somehow that she cheated? Because that's how that question comes across. The only person that could possibly know why is the cheater and usually they don't fully understand why. Plus a cheater could never be trusted to honestly communicate why. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Why did she have an affair?
Are you implying that its the OPs fault somehow that she cheated? Because that's how that question comes across. The only person that could possibly know why is the cheater and usually they don't fully understand why. Plus a cheater could never be trusted to honestly communicate why. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 11:53:57 AM EDT
[#6]
Pix?
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Posted: 8/23/2017 11:54:55 AM EDT
[#7]
That sucks, how old are your kids?
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Posted: 8/23/2017 11:55:50 AM EDT
[#8]
8,5,3. All boys
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Posted: 8/23/2017 11:56:32 AM EDT
[#9]
It is up to you OP, but an affair is no reconciliation. Deal breaker- best of luck to you.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 11:56:34 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
+1000 |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:01:41 PM EDT
[#11]
Went through same last year. 20+ yrs married, plus another 7 or so before that. I wish with everything I had I'd have not stuck it out for the last 7 'for the kids' sake' as I knew she was stepping out (mentally then transitioning physically at some point) for about that long. Kids would've been fine & actually probably better because what they saw was a fucked up way a husband & wife should be with each other (cold). In the end my youngest chose me over the ex which proves to me sticking around was the wrong thing.
You will be better off. May not seem like it now but you will. You will likely find someone who will be a FAR better life partner for you... I did, & still cannot believe how great life can be when you truly have a good woman in it. I knew my 1st marriage was shit but the magnitude of that was lost on me until the split & I moved on. One day at a time, love your kids, live in a good fashion & things will come your way. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:02:17 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
8,5,3. All boys I have 50% custody. We change every sunday night, week on week off. Kids are doing great. I'm doing great. Ex is a dumpster fire. It gets better than you can imagine right now. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:02:22 PM EDT
[#13]
I feel sorry for your boys to have to go through this, you also but your boys the most. They didn't ask for any of this shit, not that you did either.
How big of a fight is it going to be, any idea. Good luck, stay strong for your boys. They will need you. You need to take the scorch earth with her to protect yourself in keeping you able to provide for yourself and your boys. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:04:26 PM EDT
[#14]
Starting to get ugly.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:05:13 PM EDT
[#15]
Sucks, try to keep your head above water.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:07:23 PM EDT
[#16]
At least the scout leader was not gay.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:08:52 PM EDT
[#17]
Sorry to hear man, hope you can be civil with one another for the kids sake. As stated it takes time but shit gets better and better (except financially) after about a year. Good luck brother
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:09:54 PM EDT
[#18]
Get a paternity test.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:12:16 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Starting to get ugly. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:14:49 PM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
What say yall |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:15:38 PM EDT
[#21]
Sorry to hear that op.
 best of luck to you
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:15:55 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
8,5,3. All boys |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:16:41 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Get a paternity test. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:16:56 PM EDT
[#24]
Sorry to hear man. I predict as usual in these threads that you will get lots of bad advice. Find a good attorney and listen to him or her.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:17:22 PM EDT
[#25]
Suggested list of priorities:
1. Be the best father you can be. 2. Get your finances in order. 3. Examine and improve yourself personally. . . . 99. Meet women. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:17:23 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
At least the scout leader was not gay. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:20:23 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Starting to get ugly. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:21:41 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
Long story short. She had an affair we tried reconciliation for 7 months. It's over papers to be filed soonly. 12 years together married 10 3 kids. What say yall 
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:22:35 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Are you implying that its the OPs fault somehow that she cheated? Because that's how that question comes across.Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Why did she have an affair? Are you implying that its the OPs fault somehow that she cheated? Because that's how that question comes across. I think you're reading something into the question that isn't there. It comes across to me only as a request for information. I see no implication of the OP being at fault.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:24:26 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Fuck if I know. She got close with my sons Cub Scout leader. One thing leads to another....... 
But, times have changed and he might look like Rico Suave, second from the right, in this picture... 
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:25:19 PM EDT
[#31]
I'm sorry bro.
For the sake of the kids--and I know it will be hard--never utter a bad word about her to the kids. As much as you'll want to, it'll just mess them up. They still need both parents in their lives. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:26:04 PM EDT
[#32]
You guys handle this kind of shit amazingly well.
If it was me I'd be telling my kids "Mommy left to join the circus with Timmy's Scoutmaster. No, I'm pretty sure she isn't coming back. Now help me rinse off this wood chipper so I can get it back to the rental place before they close. Pass me that gallon jug of bleach." |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:27:34 PM EDT
[#33]
#1 paternity test
#2 If #1 is good, get custody, you can't let your boys grow up with that POS controlling their life. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:27:59 PM EDT
[#34]
Sorry man, keep your chin up as best you can
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:29:38 PM EDT
[#35]
Is the Scoutmaster married? If he is then have a talk with his wife.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:30:45 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
8,5,3. All boys
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:31:51 PM EDT
[#37]
THIS is a MENS law firm in Memphis that look after MEN going through what you are right now. Contact them to see if they are associated with a fim local to you that offers the same and have a firm to recommend to you.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:32:08 PM EDT
[#38]
Going through the same shit minus the kids...if you want to talk pm me.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:33:31 PM EDT
[#39]
In for pics of GF.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:33:54 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That's a lot of years worth of child support. Damn My child support and spousal support payments are less than she spent at Target every month, so I'm coming out ahead. Something that is generally true; financially responsible people will do fine in spite of divorce. Its also true that no matter how much money you or the courts give an irresponsible ex spouse, they will usually end up broke. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:34:19 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Starting to get ugly. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:40:02 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
In for pics of GF. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:45:09 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Get a paternity test. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:50:31 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wouldn't matter. He signed the birth certificate and the children were born during the marriage. The court won't let him off the hook for support even if a DNA tests proves any of the children are not his. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:53:04 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
#1 paternity test #2 If #1 is good, get custody, you can't let your boys grow up with that POS controlling their life. Save your money. Unless she's a drug addict with a lengthy criminal history the only thing you're going to do is burn through a pile of cash and still not get custody. Of course your lawyer will tell you he thinks he can get you custody as long as the checks don't bounce. 
Been there and done that. I have custody of one of my two now but only because her mother could no longer handle her and agreed to give her up. She's a straight A student and never been in trouble with the law a single day. She just always hated her mother and her boyfriend/s and when she got old/big enough kicked her moms ass during an argument. 
The next day she was moved in at my place and things have been good since. Now I just need to bulk up the younger one. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:54:50 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Correct. In most states any child born during a marriage are the financial responsibility of the husband even if he is not the actual father. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Wouldn't matter. He signed the birth certificate and the children were born during the marriage. The court won't let him off the hook for support even if a DNA tests proves any of the children are not his. ETA regardless best of luck op. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:55:00 PM EDT
[#47]
That sucks op.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:55:19 PM EDT
[#48]
I'm sorry you are going to lose half your stuff, have you kids turned against you, and get kicked out of your house because your wife is a cheater.
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:56:10 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
if he gets 50% or more custody support won't be that bad. My child support and spousal support payments are less than she spent at Target every month, so I'm coming out ahead. Something that is generally true; financially responsible people will do fine in spite of divorce. Its also true that no matter how much money you or the courts give an irresponsible ex spouse, they will usually end up broke. 
I'm just thankful I didn't get stuck with spousal support. |
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Posted: 8/23/2017 12:57:07 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You guys handle this kind of shit amazingly well. If it was me I'd be telling my kids "Mommy left to join the circus with Timmy's Scoutmaster. No, I'm pretty sure she isn't coming back. Now help me rinse off this wood chipper so I can get it back to the rental place before they close. Pass me that gallon jug of bleach."  Attached File |
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