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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 7/1/2002 11:46:17 AM EST
TEXAS FACTS: As a Texan, I thought I would share a few of the things I have learned in my 50+ years of living in this Heaven on Earth located South of the Red River 20 and North of the Rio Grande. I can personally attest to the following points as being true. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep". There are 5, 000 types of snakes and 4, 998 live in Texas and probably a half dozen species or TEXAS FACTSmore in your own backyard. There are 10, 000 types of spiders. 10, 001 live in Texas. Armadillos love to dig holes under all bedding plants. Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites. Nothing will kill a mesquite tree. You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner. Pecan is pronounced "puhcon". A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck. Texas has 6 seasons: Spring: Feb 16 to April 15 Summer: April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees) Super Summer: July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees) Summer: Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees) Fall: Oct 2 to Dec. 1 Winter: Dec. 2 to Feb 15 The wind blows at 90 MPH (THIS IS EXCESSIVE) from Oct. 2 until July 15. Then it stops totally. (This does not apply to West Texas. ) Onced and Twiced are words. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic and they multiply even faster than rabbits. Coldbeer is one word. People actually grow and eat Okra - - and what's more, they like it. Texans really don't have an accent - it's the rest of the world that talks funny. When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive. Green grass DOES burn, as does your skin if you don't run fast enough to the next shade tree. When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night. Cats come and go as they please. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple of weeks. After that, you don't even notice them anymore. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor. A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation and is drinkable to most of the livestock. And the Fish and Game Dept. will help you stock them and then they make good fishin' and swimmin' holes too. Bakards and Forards" means I know everything about a subject or the way to go if you're giving directions. you don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see. Then you get up the next morning before it's light enough to see, and start over. Opossum is pronounced "possum" and resembles a big hairless rat. Fixnto" is one word - - and probably one of the most used words in the true Texan's vocabulary. Now that yall know "Texas Language", come see us "hear" ! ! ! !
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 12:06:57 PM EST
You left out the fact that a call to heaven is cheaper than a call to Alaska: the former being a LOCAL call!
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 12:23:11 PM EST
Li'l known TEXAS fact: Dan Rather is from TEXAS Just thought y'all should know.
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 12:29:35 PM EST
Y'all got a pretty strange idea of heaven down there. [;)] You forgot to say that "fixxin'" is a word, too. [:)]
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 12:31:06 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 12:35:15 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 12:44:11 PM EST
[Last Edit: 7/1/2002 12:46:37 PM EST by SSD]
Originally Posted By operatorerror: Li'l known TEXAS fact: Dan Rather is from TEXAS Just thought y'all should know.
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Im tring to forget that one.... We did get him out of Texas, when he turned to the dark side. SSD
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 12:59:18 PM EST
The Texas state flag is the ONLY state flag that can legally be flown on a flag pole the same height as the U.S. Flag. Texas costal waters extend 21 miles out to sea. Most other states costal waterwatys only extend 7 miles. Texas reserves the right to be divided in smaller states. I forget how many, I think its 5. Texas' largest county is Brewster with 6,208 square miles. Connecticut (5,544 Sq Mi), Delaware (2,489 Sq Mi) and Rhode Island (1,545 Sq Mi) can fit inside this county. Average yearly rainfall totals in West Texas are less than 8 inches while in East Texas totals exceed 56 inches. There are also three cities in TEXAS called UNKNOWN, UNNAMED, AND UNDECIDED. It is farther from the north border of Texas to the south border of Texas than it is from Oklahoma to Canada If Texas were a country its GNP would be the fifth largest of any country on earth. When Texas joined the Union the first time, a clause was included that allowed the state to suceed at any time, but since it joined the Confederacy during the Civil War and was defeated it is considered conquered territory and lost its right to suceed. Texas was actually ruled under six flags (Mexico, France, Spain, Lone Star Flag, The Confederate flag, and the flag we have today) I'll stop now. Sorry I got carried away.
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 1:02:37 PM EST
I'm not from Texas, but I thought a "Sh!tload" is a unit of measurement and you had that "He needed killin'" law. "Judge, he needed killin'". "Okay, you're free to go". We could use something like that here.
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 1:09:17 PM EST
Dan who? Oh yeah "What's the frequency Kenneth? Rather?" Yeah, we allow him to claim it as his home state, but we don't claim him in public no more. You forgot one other thing, we have a standard couple of greetings. It's "Hidy" rarely "Howdy" and you usually combine it in this manner "Hidy, how y'all doin, howz your Mom an em?" Oh and the call of the Texas cheerleader is: "Moan y'all yale" (You might want to say it out loud to understand...specially you folks from up yonder) Ok, I'll translate "Come on you all, Yell" Coz
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 1:13:33 PM EST
Originally Posted By JimE2: There are also three cities in TEXAS called UNKNOWN, UNNAMED, AND UNDECIDED.
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Don't forget the town of Uncertain, on Caddo Lake. Guess they were uncertain whether they were still in Texas, or in Louisiana yet.
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 2:13:06 PM EST
"Dan Rather is from TEXAS" NOT ANYMORE!
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 2:16:38 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 2:19:17 PM EST
LOL! Yeah, you seem to export most of your loonies. Dan Rather is from Texas. Charles Manson is from Texas. Charles "Tex" Watson is from Texas. (Charles Manson' right hand man) Charles Whitman is from Texas.(University of Texas sniper) I guess he couldn't bear leaving Texas. Should I go on?
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 3:41:23 PM EST
Originally Posted By operatorerror: LOL! Yeah, you seem to export most of your loonies. Dan Rather is from Texas. Charles Manson is from Texas. Charles "Tex" Watson is from Texas. (Charles Manson' right hand man) Charles Whitman is from Texas.(University of Texas sniper) I guess he couldn't bear leaving Texas. Should I go on?
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This is TOO GOOD! Somebody from California talking about other states' loonies!! [@:D][@:D][@:D]
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 3:56:11 PM EST
Everything you said about Texas applies to my home state of Florida (including the armadillos)except for we ain't got no mesquite trees and roadrunners.
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 3:58:13 PM EST
[url]www.famoustexans.com/index.html[/url]
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 4:00:16 PM EST
Originally Posted By Arock: This is TOO GOOD! Somebody from California talking about other states' loonies!! [@:D][@:D][@:D]
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Oh, trust me, I know only too well about California's loonies. I just thought I'd try and divert some of the attention.
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 6:06:41 PM EST
its hotter the arizona [:D]
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 6:40:40 PM EST
As far as I can tell, the D in coldbeer is silent. As in "you ready for another colbeer?" Some even omit the L but that makes for an odd sounding beverage.
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 6:41:57 PM EST
Originally Posted By cyrax777: its hotter the arizona [:D]
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your welcome
Link Posted: 7/1/2002 7:01:49 PM EST
MMMMMM, home sweet home......ain't noplace Idruther be.
Link Posted: 7/2/2002 1:21:14 AM EST
Watch out for guys from Texas named "Charles"!
Link Posted: 7/2/2002 4:16:38 AM EST
A 5 inch rain in West Texas means that the drop were 5 inches apart. You know how to tell a level headed Texan - Got tobacco juice running down both sides of his mouth. The bars on the Jacksboro Highway (Northside Ft Worth) are so tough that when the bouncer asks you if you have a gun or knife and you say no they give you one. Bulkhead (raised up in Burleson)
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