Posted: 5/25/2005 3:47:28 PM EDT
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Funny simpsons line I just heard: SWAT team busts into the church "SIMPSONS, your under arrest for breaking "The Government Knows Best Act" hey...while we're at it post your favorite. Now anytime people hear the name Trojan, they will think of wood. |
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My top 2: Grandpa: "The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish. We hanged more 'n a few." Chief Wiggum: Chief Wiggum on phone: Uh, Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA. Marge: Oh my god! He's dead? Chief Wiggum: Oh, I'm sorry. He was DUI. I get those two confused. (hangs up phone) Woman walks in: My name is Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband was DUI? Chief Wiggum: Uh... talk to one of those officers over there. I'm going to lunch. NorCal |
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Those are great. I like Grandpa's story: Well back in odd six we drove them Irish out of town, well where was I again, ooh yeah, the important thing is that I had an onion around my belt, you see it had to be a yellow onion because of the war, where was I? You see the important thing is.... they're classic. |
isn't it the same one where he's like <gun shop clerk> It's a three day wait</gun shop cleark> <homer> But I'm angry now!!!</homer> then he spends the next three days grumbling. stupid gun clerk wouldn't be so big without all of his guns...just wait until I get my gun, i'll show him. |
Yep same episode, him sitting in a lawn chair as flanders, ducks in a line, and selma and her sister walk back and forth in front of him, haha, I love this show. To alchol! Cause of and Solution to all of lifes problems. |
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There are too many, but my favorite one for quotes is Moe Syzlak: I'm better than dirt. And I only wish I could find the sound file of....
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| . . . Like the time I took the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry takes a nickle, and in those days, nickles had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where was I? Oh yeah. The important thing was that I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. |
That's "Homer, use an open-faced club! A sand wedge!" "Mmm, open-faced club sandwich." Here's another - "Ah, chief justice of the supreme court. What great men he would join. John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Burgher. . . Mmmmmmm. . . Burgher. . . |
isn't there another line where homer says to the clerk "If I had my gun I'd shoot you right now" clerk responds "but ya don't" ? |
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Burns: Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [cackles evilly, then stops abruptly] There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers? Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder. |
| I liked it when the Simpsons must nurture an endangered "screamapillar" that wanders into their koi pond. After Homer injures it, he is prosecuted under the federal Reversal of Freedoms Act of 1994. The loud, rare caterpillar sits in court, wearing a neck brace, as Homer is convicted of "attempted insecticide and aggravated buggery." |
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When Bart and Lisa used Grandpa Simpson's name to write episodes of Itchy and Scratchy, and finally came clean with Grandpa about it. (Lisa) Grandpa, didn't you wonder why you were getting huge checks every 2 weeks for doing absolutely nothing? (Grandpa) Oh....I just thought the Democrats were back in power again. |
With Tom Petty's Waiting is the Hardest Part playing in the background |
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The episode with the cat burgalar, when they go digging under the "T" shaped tree, and they dig too far. Otto: Uhh, how do we get outta here? Homer: Keep digging! Chief Wiggum: No, no. Dig up, stupid. -OR- The X Files episode. Grandpa is chasing the turtle, and the turtle bites him Grandpa: Owww! He bit me with my own teeth! -OR- Cletus finds some boots hanging from the telephone wire and brings them in. Cletus: Hey Brandine, you might could wear these to your job interview. Brandine: And scuff up the topless dancing room floor? Naw you best bring 'em back where from they came. Cletus Ok. Back you go, to wait for a woman of less discriminating tastes. ITS CLETUS THE SLACK JAWED YOKEL Cletus: Hey, you know what? I could call my ma from up here. Hey ma, get off the danged roof! |
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No Poindexter will challenge the likes of C. Montgomery Burns. He'll forever be relegated to a career at the gas pump -- "You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and revulcanize my tires, posthaste!" "merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango, grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum" |