[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Share Your Profiling Knowledge (Page 1 of 5)
Posted: 5/27/2016 1:48:09 PM EDT
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I'm no expert but I spent slot of time in ERs dealing with the scumbags.
1. Flat bill hat wearers. No character 2. Being an inkie used to lean towards ex con or anti social,personality disorder or drugs with exception of Military members. Thst was 25 years ago. Tats have become mainstream and it no longer applies. Post some of yours. |
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There are a few things that instantly tell me someone is probably a habitual shitty choice maker:
1. Cigarette smoking 2. More than a few visible tattoos 3. Piercings somewhere other than a female's ears 4. Wearing gratuitously expensive designer clothing 5. Jacked up trucks 6. White Oakleys 7. Financing any combination of the above. I don't have anything against people that do any of the above, I simply assume that they habitually make bad decisions based on what they spend their money on. If they can afford it, good for them, I'm wrong. I'll probably catch flak for the tattoo comment but considering how much they cost and how retarded the average person is with money, I think its a safe assumption. |
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How do you know which hand is their dominant hand? Quoted:
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Women with hyphenated last names are almost always liberal. Men who carry a cell phone holster on the same side as their dominate hand are announcing to the world that they are unarmed. How do you know which hand is their dominant hand? Because everyone knows that using a cell phone or grabbing/putting it away can't be done ambidextrously  .
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How do you know which hand is their dominant hand? Quoted:
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Women with hyphenated last names are almost always liberal. Men who carry a cell phone holster on the same side as their dominate hand are announcing to the world that they are unarmed. How do you know which hand is their dominant hand? If youre a good enough profiler you can easily figure it out. |
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If you advertise your local small business as "Veteran owned and operated" in your marketing literature (or on your company vehicles), it's a near guarantee that you're unreliable as hell, will lie to my face, and that I need to keep my wallet in my front pocket, metaphorically speaking.
I'm 0/5 so far. 
It's kind of like those businesses that feel the need to put a Jesus fish on everything, as if it somehow means they're more likely to be honest and square dealing. It's oftentimes quite the contrary. You don't see that as much anymore, but the "veteran owned and operated" thing has really taken me by surprise over the past few years. It's not the veterans that are the problem - it's the ones who use it as a sales pitch. I don't know what the fuck it is, but like I said - I'm 0/5 for far. |
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If they have a "Jesus fish" on their car or business card don't trust them in any business dealings. They will screw you. If they go out of their way to tell you how religious they are, see above, you are going to get screwed. add " men wearing a cross necklace" to that list. |
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Quoted: If you advertise your local small business as "Veteran owned and operated" in your marketing literature (or on your company vehicles), it's a near guarantee that you're unreliable as hell, will lie to my face, and that I need to keep my wallet in my front pocket, metaphorically speaking. I'm 0/5 so far. It's kind of like those businesses that feel the need to put a Jesus fish on everything, as if it somehow means they're more likely to be honest and square dealing. It's oftentimes quite the contrary. You don't see that as much anymore, but the "veteran owned and operated" thing has really taken me by surprise over the past few years. It's not the veterans that are the problem - it's the ones who use it as a sales pitch. I don't know what the fuck it is, but like I said - I'm 0/5 for far. In my experience it is railroaders. If they work full time on the railroad and have a business on the side, then they ain't worth a shit at whatever the side business is. |
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Quoted: There are a few things that instantly tell me someone is probably a habitual shitty choice maker: 1. Cigarette smoking 2. More than a few visible tattoos 3. Piercings somewhere other than a female's ears 4. Wearing gratuitously expensive designer clothing 5. Jacked up trucks 6. White Oakleys 7. Financing any combination of the above. I don't have anything against people that do any of the above, I simply assume that they habitually make bad decisions based on what they spend their money on. If they can afford it, good for them, I'm wrong. I'll probably catch flak for the tattoo comment but considering how much they cost and how retarded the average person is with money, I think its a safe assumption. |
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If someone has to finance Oakleys, they have bigger problems. Quoted:
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There are a few things that instantly tell me someone is probably a habitual shitty choice maker: 1. Cigarette smoking 2. More than a few visible tattoos 3. Piercings somewhere other than a female's ears 4. Wearing gratuitously expensive designer clothing 5. Jacked up trucks 6. White Oakleys 7. Financing any combination of the above. I don't have anything against people that do any of the above, I simply assume that they habitually make bad decisions based on what they spend their money on. If they can afford it, good for them, I'm wrong. I'll probably catch flak for the tattoo comment but considering how much they cost and how retarded the average person is with money, I think its a safe assumption. Lol, well financing them in that case would be throwing it on a credit card and carrying a balance. |
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Sad but true. Quoted:
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If they have a "Jesus fish" on their car or business card don't trust them in any business dealings. They will screw you. If they go out of their way to tell you how religious they are, see above, you are going to get screwed. Sad but true. Yep. Might as well name your used car lot "Honest John's used cars" |
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When people say, "Please excuse the mess, we're cleaning up" that means when you go inside their house it will reek of cat piss and everything will be covered in dirt and cobwebs. The counter top is a mountain range of dirty dishes that extend from the over flowing trash can to the kitchen sink. The only clean carpet will be what hides underneath the piles of dirty laundry, shunned to the corners of the room. They will wear their shoes inside, and politely say "You can keep your shoes on". The only clean appliance will be the TV, which has shitty game shows or soap operas and the volume turned up offensively loud. They will apologize about the noise, and shuffle through empty cigarette boxes and empty diet soda bottles to find the remote on the end table as you are simultaneously directed to their computer; complete with filthy keyboard heavily laden with food crumbs and stained from nicotine and sweat. The only clean spot on the device is the mouse button, polished to a brilliant sheen from endless hours of candy crushy saga.
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Quoted:
If they have a "Jesus fish" on their car or business card don't trust them in any business dealings. They will screw you. If they go out of their way to tell you how religious they are, see above, you are going to get screwed. Based on personal experience, I can agree 110% with the above. Proudest and most loudly-professing Christians = most unscrupulous. Sadly. |
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When people say, "Please excuse the mess, we're cleaning up" that means when you go inside their house it will reek of cat piss and everything will be covered in dirt and cobwebs. The counter top is a mountain range of dirty dishes that extend from the over flowing trash can to the kitchen sink. The only clean carpet will be what hides underneath the piles of dirty laundry, shunned to the corners of the room. They will wear their shoes inside, and politely say "You can keep your shoes on". The only clean appliance will be the TV, which has shitty game shows or soap operas and the volume turned up offensively loud. They will apologize about the noise, and shuffle through empty cigarette boxes and empty diet soda bottles to find the remote on the end table as you are simultaneously directed to their computer; complete with filthy keyboard heavily laden with food crumbs and stained from nicotine and sweat. The only clean spot on the device is the mouse button, polished to a brilliant sheen from endless hours of candy crushy saga. Exactly like my in-laws, but at least they don't smoke. 
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When people say, "Please excuse the mess, we're cleaning up" that means when you go inside their house it will reek of cat piss and everything will be covered in dirt and cobwebs. The counter top is a mountain range of dirty dishes that extend from the over flowing trash can to the kitchen sink. The only clean carpet will be what hides underneath the piles of dirty laundry, shunned to the corners of the room. They will wear their shoes inside, and politely say "You can keep your shoes on". The only clean appliance will be the TV, which has shitty game shows or soap operas and the volume turned up offensively loud. They will apologize about the noise, and shuffle through empty cigarette boxes and empty diet soda bottles to find the remote on the end table as you are simultaneously directed to their computer; complete with filthy keyboard heavily laden with food crumbs and stained from nicotine and sweat. The only clean spot on the device is the mouse button, polished to a brilliant sheen from endless hours of candy crushy saga. Get out of my house! |
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If they have a "Jesus fish" on their car or business card don't trust them in any business dealings. They will screw you. If they go out of their way to tell you how religious they are, see above, you are going to get screwed. but you can cut them off in traffic and they have to forgive you or their god will punish them 
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When people say, "Please excuse the mess, we're cleaning up" that means when you go inside their house it will reek of cat piss and everything will be covered in dirt and cobwebs. The counter top is a mountain range of dirty dishes that extend from the over flowing trash can to the kitchen sink. The only clean carpet will be what hides underneath the piles of dirty laundry, shunned to the corners of the room. They will wear their shoes inside, and politely say "You can keep your shoes on". The only clean appliance will be the TV, which has shitty game shows or soap operas and the volume turned up offensively loud. They will apologize about the noise, and shuffle through empty cigarette boxes and empty diet soda bottles to find the remote on the end table as you are simultaneously directed to their computer; complete with filthy keyboard heavily laden with food crumbs and stained from nicotine and sweat. The only clean spot on the device is the mouse button, polished to a brilliant sheen from endless hours of candy crushy saga. Hey, we had the same customer. Small world.
"Please excuse the mess" is only valid when the house looks like it could be featured in Better Homes and Gardens, but the kids left some of their toys in the living room, and this mornings breakfast dishes haven't been placed in the dishwasher yet. |
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add " men wearing a cross necklace" to that list. Quoted:
Quoted:
If they have a "Jesus fish" on their car or business card don't trust them in any business dealings. They will screw you. If they go out of their way to tell you how religious they are, see above, you are going to get screwed. add " men wearing a cross necklace" to that list. Disagree |
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Quoted:
How do you know which hand is their dominant hand? Quoted:
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Women with hyphenated last names are almost always liberal. Men who carry a cell phone holster on the same side as their dominate hand are announcing to the world that they are unarmed. How do you know which hand is their dominant hand? Whichever one is attached to the bigger arm... |
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Yeah. My best profiles aren't CoC compliant Quoted:
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These profiling tactics are useful for trying to choose a checkout lane at Sams club. I'd share my strategy but it would probably be against some rule. Yeah. My best profiles aren't CoC compliant No doubt. I am expert in getting into the fastest check out lane after a quick profile of who is in each lane, and who is doing the checkout. |
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Quoted: If they have a "Jesus fish" on their car or business card don't trust them in any business dealings. They will screw you. If they go out of their way to tell you how religious they are, see above, you are going to get screwed. 2/2 I have been screwed by the "Jesus fish" |
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Pro-tip I learned from when I did a ride along with the Modesto, CA PD many moons ago:
If it's 2:00am in the airport district (shitty part of town) and he's riding around on a bicycle: 1. His license was revoked (DUI) 2. 90%+ chance he has at least one warrant. 3. He's holding.
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Pro-tip I learned from when I did a ride along with the Modesto, CA PD many moons ago: If it's 2:00am in the airport district (shitty part of town) and he's riding around on a bicycle: 1. His license was revoked (DUI) 2. 90%+ chance he has at least one warrant. 3. He's holding. I see a ton of 20 something year old guys riding BMX style bikes around here, makes sense. |
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The more righteous an individual presents themselves to be, the more numerous and larger are the skeletons they definitely have in their closet.
The more authoritatively someone admonishes you not to do X, it's a sure sign that they themselves have done it. This isn't always bad, but always keep it in mind so you know who you are dealing with. |
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No doubt. I am expert in getting into the fastest check out lane after a quick profile of who is in each lane, and who is doing the checkout. Quoted:
Quoted:
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These profiling tactics are useful for trying to choose a checkout lane at Sams club. I'd share my strategy but it would probably be against some rule. Yeah. My best profiles aren't CoC compliant No doubt. I am expert in getting into the fastest check out lane after a quick profile of who is in each lane, and who is doing the checkout. Yet another you skill possess which I not only lack, but effectively oppose. I can stop the fastest lane in any store by getting in the back of the line for it. |
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Based on personal experience, I can agree 110% with the above. Proudest and most loudly-professing Christians = most unscrupulous. Sadly. Quoted:
Quoted:
If they have a "Jesus fish" on their car or business card don't trust them in any business dealings. They will screw you. If they go out of their way to tell you how religious they are, see above, you are going to get screwed. Based on personal experience, I can agree 110% with the above. Proudest and most loudly-professing Christians = most unscrupulous. Sadly. x87 |
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I profile all the time, I work in loss prevention. When I started, I didn't want to think that stereotypes were true, and they aren't always, but more often than not they are. Mannerisms are what you look for first and foremost though.
Kids in groups who wear backpacks on the weekends (and in general) where I work are possible shoplifters. Lately it's been mostly black teens. And they always run or want to fight (which is actually rare) And the white teens are more likely to be apprehended and cry. Kids steal clothes and shoes for the most part. Adults who wear flat bill hats and have a lot of tattoos, particularly neck tattoos AND carry a backpack I watch like a hawk. They are pretty much exclusively white. They usually go for perfumes, levi jeans, tools, and electronics. Something to sell for drugs. Hispanics are probably #3 in shoplifting where I work, maybe 15% of our shoplifters. It's usually clothes they steal. Indians, asians, middle easterners and pacific islanders pretty much never shoplift here. If I see a muslim woman on the floor, its a waste of time to watch her. Of course you can tell a difference between a group of good kids and a group of turd kids. And a tattoo'd up good guy and a tattoo'd up bad guys. Just by the way they act. Last week I had an inked up neck tattoo'd flat bill guy chase a guy through the parking lot and kick a big dent into a fleeing shoplifters car, and he got the license plate number for us. 
The methheads and junkies are always white, they act like they're on drugs, and they usually have needles and if I smell pot on someone, they're usually black. Never came across a black methhead at work yet.
Shoplifters come in all colors and ages though. But I'm unlikely to watch grandpa with his pants pulled up to his chest than I am a young lady with an arm load of clothes looking around nervously. And last week we caught a 61 year old russian grandma stuffing six boxes of perfumes down her pants. I'd guess she just does it for the thrill, as she got into a lexus and drove off after we released her. |
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Quoted:
How do you know which hand is their dominant hand? Quoted:
Quoted:
Women with hyphenated last names are almost always liberal. Men who carry a cell phone holster on the same side as their dominate hand are announcing to the world that they are unarmed. How do you know which hand is their dominant hand? Appendix and SOB carry will get you shot with that assumption. |