From VA gunnut

Sarah Brady's 41 Reasons For You To Support Gun Control



And now a message from der Fuher, I mean Sarah Brady:

"Greatings irresponsible gun nuts. It has come to my attention that some of you sheeple, I mean people, do not fully support the work our group Hand Gun Control Inc. has been doing in the field of global disarmerment. What is wrong with you?! Don't you know that we are smarter than you and know what is best? We have brilliant minds working with us such as el Duce, I mean Dianne Feinstein, as well as humanitarian organizations like the Stasi, I mean UN. Now please, keep an open mind and read the following reasons why gun control is the best thing since sliced bread. Afterwards, I look foward to all of you handing in your firearms at your local SS, I mean ATF, enslavement center, I mean buy-back post. Soon, we can all work together for a safer world. Sig Heil! I mean, God bless America."

Banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, and Chicago cops need guns.

Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to strict gun control, and Indianapolis' high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due to the lack of gun control.

Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control, but statistics showing increasing murder rates after gun control are "just statistics."

The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban, both of which went into effect in 1994, are responsible for the decrease in violent crime rates, which have been declining since 1991.

We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting spree at any time and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of such a lunatic is paranoid.

The more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.

An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot with a .357 Magnum will get angry and kill you.

A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

When confronted by violent criminals, you should "put up no defense --give them what they want, or run" (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman Pete Shields, Guns Don't Die - People Do, 1981, p. 125).

The New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about guns; just like Guns and Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.

One should consult an automotive engineer for safer seatbelts, a civil engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for spinal paralysis, a computer programmer for Y2K problems, and Sarah Brady for firearms expertise.

The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard, which was created by an act of Congress in 1917.

The National Guard, funded by the federal government, occupying property leased to the federal government, using weapons owned by the federal government, punishing trespassers under federal law, is a state militia.

These phrases, "right of the people peaceably to assemble", "right of the people to be secure in their homes", "enumeration's herein of certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people", and "The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states respectively, and to the people," all refer to individuals, but "the right of the people to keep and bear arms" refers to the state.

We don't need guns against an oppressive government, because the Constitution has internal safeguards, but we should ban and seize all guns, thereby violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th amendments to that Constitution.

Rifles and handguns aren't necessary to national defense, which is why the army has millions of them.

Private citizens shouldn't have handguns, because they serve no military purpose, and private citizens shouldn't have "assault rifles," because they are military weapons.

The ready availability of guns today, with waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting, government forms, etc., is responsible for recent school shootings,compared to the lack of school shootings in the 40's, 50's and 60's, which resulted from the availability of guns at hardware stores, surplus stores, gas stations, variety stores, mail order, etc.

The NRA's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids handling guns is propaganda, and the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign is responsible social activity.

Guns are so complex that special training is necessary to use them properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.

A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.

Women are just as intelligent and capable as men but a woman with a gun is "an accident waiting to happen" and gun makers' advertisements aimed at women are "preying on their fears."

Ordinary people, in the presence of guns, turn into slaughtering butchers, but revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at gun shows.

A majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majority of the population supported owning slaves.

A self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a "weapon of mass destruction" or an "assault weapon."

Most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by because they can be trusted.

The right of online pornographers to exist cannot be questioned because it is constitutionally protected by the Bill of Rights, but the use of handguns for self defense is not really protected by the Bill of Rights.

Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and typewriters, but self-defense only justifies bare hands.

The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of the Constitution.

Charlton Heston as president of the NRA is a shill who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.

Police operate with backup within groups, which is why they need larger capacity pistol magazines than do "civilians" who must face criminals alone and therefore need less ammunition.

We should ban "Saturday Night Specials" and other inexpensive guns because it's not fair that poor people have access to guns too.

Police officers, who qualify with their duty weapons once or twice a year, have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns that private citizens can never hope to obtain, even if they practice fifty times as much.

Private citizens don't need a gun for self-protection because the police are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says the police are not responsible for their protection.

Citizens don't need to carry a gun for personal protection but police chiefs, who are desk-bound administrators who work in a building filled with cops, need a gun.

"Assault weapons" have no purpose other than to kill large numbers of people, which is why the police need them but "civilians" do not.

When Microsoft pressures its distributors to give Microsoft preferential promotion, that's bad. But when the Federal government pressures cities to buy guns only from Smith & Wesson (before they pulled out of the deal they made with the devil during the Klinton administration), that's good.

Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun for defensive purposes, which is why you see so many police officers with one on their duty weapon.

Common sense gun control has been championed by some of the most brilliant political minds of the Twentieth Century... like Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Pol Pot.

When Handgun Control, Inc., says we want to "keep guns out of the wrong hands," we only mean irresponsible rednecks like you, as oppossed to the law-abidding heads of our organization.

[Edited on 3/13/2005 by Virginia Gun Nut]

Absolutely, unequivocably, fuckingly bad-ass brilliance.

I'm confused.  This is saying that gun control works, right?  

Brilliant.

I'M CONVERTED! Somebody gimme an address where I can mail all my evil guns, ammunition, knives, and fireworks!

Preach it, my brother. Preach it!!!

Well its good to know this does pass, my life as a criminal will be easy and unabridged.

Quoted: Well its good to know this does pass, my life as a criminal will be easy and unabridged.

You too? I feel so much safer knowing I won't be shot on the job.

Say... you got a daughter or younger sister? Jewelry? Nice car? I'm just askin'.

ARFCOM = Choir

You're preaching to the converted brother, but boy I like the sarcasm in there.

[

Well that does it im ripping up my FID card and throwing away my pistol purchase permit.  h.gif

good post,

schweet!

All the credit goes to Virginia Gun Nut on AWBsuset.com

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Uh-huh. Do aah heyauh ayuhn AMEN!?!

I just forwarded it to ~50 people.  Thanks!

Welcome to 1999!

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Well its good to know this does pass, my life as a criminal will be easy and unabridged. You too? I feel so much safer knowing I won't be shot on the job. Say... you got a daughter or younger sister? Jewelry? Nice car? I'm just askin'. Not only that but if you are, hey OSHA and the ACLUY will probably foot the litigation costs so you can retire with a legal 7 figure bank account.

Or fall through a skylight while breaking in, then sue the manufacturer for not putting the distance from the skylight to the ground on it, thus resulting in my horrible injuries.

someone call the fucking dupe police !!!
dupe!!!!
dupe!!!!



ehh, sorry my first dupe call out... I got a bit excited

Quoted: Well that does it im ripping up my FID card and throwing away my pistol purchase permit.

My father in law is from Jersey. He was telling a bunch of us mountain folk about his gun permit this weekend. Lots of dropped jaws.  I took him nine months to get a permit that said it was OK for him to buy a gun.  Stuff like that just goes right beyond my limited ability to understand.  I guess someone thought it seemed like the right way to do things.

Someone should shoot the Bitch in the Foot with a Bow and Arrow, but then again that would be wrong

Quoted: Someone should shoot the Bitch in the Foot with a Bow and Arrow, but then again that would be wrong

Why? Seems fine with me . . .

Quoted: someone call the fucking dupe police !!! dupe!!!! dupe!!!! ehh, sorry my first dupe call out... I got a bit excited

I'm sure you'll have plenty of chances to run your doup count up in the near future.

Jerad

O’yea that bitch sucks!

Oh well this was the first time Ive seen it.

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tag to print later...

The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard, which was created by an act of Congress in 1917.