Posted: 7/12/2015 1:18:13 PM EDT
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If my wif brings me two slices of toasted whole wheat bread onto which she has spread butter and red plum jelly, and I then combine to two with the dressed sides inward, do I then have a sammich? There was also a glass of milk brought to my arfcom station where I now sit.
Because rules which I, by nature, always follow, I present the wif: 
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| Considering that you can make a pimiento cheese sammich by layering pimiento cheese spread between two pieces of bread, I would say yes, you can have a jelly sammich by layering jelly between two pieces of bread. It would be a piss poor sammich, but it would fit the definition. |
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Considering that you can make a pimiento cheese sammich by layering pimiento cheese spread between two pieces of bread, I would say yes, you can have a jelly sammich by layering jelly between two pieces of bread. It would be a piss poor sammich, but it would fit the definition. Piss poor sammich is still a sammich. Wifey better be saving the energy she didn't put into making a good sammich for sexy time later! |
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So you are telling me a buttered piece of toast was dropped, which by the laws of the universe dictate must land butter side down, on another piece of toast that was jelly side up?
A sammich is created. This is like asking when does life begin. What if I stack 2 pieces of buttered toast on one another? Both butter side up? Is that a sammich or just a stack of buttered toast? If one piece of buttered toast is turned downwards so that the two buttered sides are touching, are we playing by the technical definition of something actually being sandwhiched between bread pieces? Must there be a minimum number of spread or differing spreads between breads for sammich life to begin? I personally believe sammich life begins not at initial conception of when bread meets bread. Rather I believe that sammich life begins when either cheese or meat meets bread. |
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If my wif brings me two slices of toasted whole wheat bread onto which she has spread butter and red plum jelly, and I then combine to two with the dressed sides inward, do I then have a sammich? There was also a glass of milk brought to my arfcom station where I now sit. Because rules which I, by nature, always follow, I present the wif: https://scontent-lga1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/1914490_103657162979297_5839266_n.jpg?oh=34787b17e8bc8ead73ac9f0eff28604f&oe=561B962C if she unzips your fly and applies lube to your johnson, but leaves the rest to you, would you credit her with giving you a handjob? i think not. |
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What if I stack 2 pieces of buttered toast on one another? Both butter side up? Is that a sammich or just a stack of buttered toast? If one piece of buttered toast is turned downwards so that the two buttered sides are touching, are we playing by the technical definition of something actually being sandwhiched between bread pieces? Must there be a minimum number of spread or differing spreads between breads for sammich life to begin? I personally believe sammich life begins not at initial conception of when bread meets bread. Rather I believe that sammich life begins when either cheese or meat meets bread. Well by this definition I get a sammich at Waffle House every time I have breakfast, they even cut it in half for me. |
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Well by this definition I get a sammich at Waffle House every time I have breakfast, they even cut it in half for me. Quoted:
Quoted:
What if I stack 2 pieces of buttered toast on one another? Both butter side up? Is that a sammich or just a stack of buttered toast? If one piece of buttered toast is turned downwards so that the two buttered sides are touching, are we playing by the technical definition of something actually being sandwhiched between bread pieces? Must there be a minimum number of spread or differing spreads between breads for sammich life to begin? I personally believe sammich life begins not at initial conception of when bread meets bread. Rather I believe that sammich life begins when either cheese or meat meets bread. Well by this definition I get a sammich at Waffle House every time I have breakfast, they even cut it in half for me. i suppose i should edit to include I personally believe sammich life begins not at initial conception of when bread meets bread. Rather I believe that sammich life begins when either cheese or meat meets two piecesof bread and is held in place between said two pieces such that it can be picked up. |
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So you are telling me a buttered piece of toast was dropped, which by the laws of the universe dictate must land butter side down, on another piece of toast that was jelly side up? A sammich is created. This is like asking when does life begin. What if I stack 2 pieces of buttered toast on one another? Both butter side up? Is that a sammich or just a stack of buttered toast? If one piece of buttered toast is turned downwards so that the two buttered sides are touching, are we playing by the technical definition of something actually being sandwhiched between bread pieces? Must there be a minimum number of spread or differing spreads between breads for sammich life to begin? I personally believe sammich life begins not at initial conception of when bread meets bread. Rather I believe that sammich life begins when either cheese or meat meets bread. I think you are over thinking this. 
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if she unzips your fly and applies lube to your johnson, but leaves the rest to you, would you credit her with giving you a handjob? i think not. Quoted:
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If my wif brings me two slices of toasted whole wheat bread onto which she has spread butter and red plum jelly, and I then combine to two with the dressed sides inward, do I then have a sammich? There was also a glass of milk brought to my arfcom station where I now sit. Because rules which I, by nature, always follow, I present the wif: https://scontent-lga1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/1914490_103657162979297_5839266_n.jpg?oh=34787b17e8bc8ead73ac9f0eff28604f&oe=561B962C if she unzips your fly and applies lube to your johnson, but leaves the rest to you, would you credit her with giving you a handjob? i think not. I'm not sure and would likely have to ask arfcom. |
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Jelly toast is acceptable if eggs are also involved. Coffee would help too. Milk, there was milk. It was breakfast time. I'm thinking that my wif brought me a butter and plum jelly sammich which she served open face, but which I ate regular sammich style for a win. I just wasn't sure. |
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Sounds like a sammich, but only if you asked her for that. Wtf is plum jelly like, I've never tried it before?  Red plum jelly is my favorite on toast perhaps because my mother used to make it from the Chickasaw plums we'd pick. Red plum jelly is to toast as Cosmolene is for the face. |
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Quoted: In for worstest 1776 post evar. Yes, it's a sammich. Two pieces of bread together is an "air wish sammich", while three pieces of bread together is a "bread sammich".  |
