Rants and Raves from the Phoenix Craigslist.  

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You were the mugger/robber at Awkatukee theatres two nights ago.

I was the man who robbed you in return.

Did you honestly expect me to just hand over my wallet to you?

I’m a foot taller than you.

Did you honestly expect me to be scared of your kitchen knife?

I love how you peed yourself when I opened my trunk and cocked a shotgun in your face.

Did you honestly expect me to let you call my girlfriend a whore?

I used the money from your wallet to buy her some New Years lingerie.

I threw your clothes in the dumpster behind Best Buy, across from the theatres.

Are you still tied with jumper cables to the handicapped sign pole? I hope not.

Thank you for the use of your credit card. You can get away with not showing identification at Safeway, Chevron, and many other places. You just saved me a fortune on alcohol for New Years, groceries for two weeks at least, and I also got a full take of gas. I also bought myself some New Year’s cologne from the mall, ate a sensible lunch at Subway, and my girlfriend wanted some shoes at Saks Fifth Avenue; and I renewed both our gym passes. Then, it was maxed out, and I was sad. I think it was the shoes that did that. Sorry.

I sold your gold jewelry to a pawn store in Tempe, one plaza down from the 99 cent store. Same for your diamond (and it was real, to think I doubted you) stud earring. I stuffed the money from those items in the crippled children’s jar at 7/11.

I think your knife might be in the street still, or the parking lot where you tried to rob me.

So, Mr. Robber, the next time you try to mug a 6’8, 230 pound, man who grew up middle class white trash, please, think twice. My kind, doesn’t like your kind.

In fact we hate everything about you.

Your Friend,

The man who robbed a robber.

lol

He didn't say anything about a beat down.  But with that kind of revenge, he really wouldn't have to.

Beautiful, hopefully it's true.

There IS a god, eh?

smells like bullshit to me.

Quoted: smells like bullshit to me.

Even if it is, it just might make a difference.

Quoted: Quoted: smells like bullshit to me. Even if it is, it just might make a difference.

Like the way fairy tales make a difference?

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: smells like bullshit to me. Even if it is, it just might make a difference. Like the way fairy tales make a difference?

Like the way Santa Claus makes a difference.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: smells like bullshit to me. Even if it is, it just might make a difference. Like the way fairy tales make a difference? Like the way Santa Claus makes a difference.

People will put up cheesy plastic lawn ornaments on the anniversary of the original craig's list post?

This is great it must be true see the would be robber peed himself at the sound of a shotgun cocking thas all the proof you need!

According to the wise people at DU, the original victim should have apologized to the original robber for even considering doing any of the above, all the while sheepishly handing over all his belongings and holding his girl still for the guy to do whatever he wanted.  It surprises me that any one can fail to see why this country is in a complete downward spiral.  I could only wish that the original post had some truth to it.  It would be a thing of beauty.

Woody

Wait- he used the guy's credit card to renew his and his girlfriend's gym passes? With their NAMES on them? So now the guy can get his credit report and find out who they are?

Quoted: Wait- he used the guy's credit card to renew his and his girlfriend's gym passes? With their NAMES on them? So now the guy can get his credit report and find out who they are?

Just one of the many things that scream 'bullshit'.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: smells like bullshit to me. Even if it is, it just might make a difference. Like the way fairy tales make a difference?

no. Like someone may grow a set and not be a vicitm or like some other thug might not try it.

 Okay, even though this story is B.S., in order that someone who is tempted to do this may NOT end up in jail, may I please iterate:

 Robbing an armed robber is armed robbery.    You will BOTH go to jail.

Quoted:  Okay, even though this story is B.S., in order that someone who is tempted to do this may NOT end up in jail, may I please iterate:  Robbing an armed robber is armed robbery.    You will BOTH go to jail.

Only if they catch you.