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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:01:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/30/2015 12:14:36 PM EDT by bjohnson425]
Be easy this is my first one of these!!

First you start with the highest quality hormone free non GMO free range no antibiotic steroid free turkey patty.




Preheat your teflon ( must be teflon to avoid sticking like in a rough cast iron skillet) preheat on high with some olive oil then add your burger once it starts smoking black



While its cooking add season salt and pepper

prepare your fixings... I ran out of cheese slices so had to use grated Parmesan cheese ( great flavor)


remove your burger when it is medium rare.. (crispy on the edges with a cool center) PERFECT!



Add your Fixings ( siracha mayo, minced garlic, mustard, cheese)



ENJOY!!




Don't forget the last step!

Click To View Spoiler



Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:01:52 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/30/2015 12:04:09 PM EDT by apierce918]
0/10 for non red meat burger

Actually, it would be negative when finished reading, I dont even know where to start, so -87
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:03:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/30/2015 12:03:13 PM EDT by JeepMP]

Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:04:10 PM EDT
I hope you get AIDS.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:05:09 PM EDT
Dupe
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:05:56 PM EDT
@ "Crispy on the edges, cool in the center."
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:05:57 PM EDT
Poop thread
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:08:12 PM EDT
You burned it!
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:10:43 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:11:54 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/30/2015 12:12:56 PM EDT by 1911lover]
These "look what I cooked" threads are going downhill rapidly.

Burned "burger"? Really?

I'll have to go with a minus 55.

Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:12:54 PM EDT
Well u sure as shit dont medium rare ground meat
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:13:45 PM EDT
That. Looks. Terrible.

I award you no points.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:14:14 PM EDT
You fucking burnt everything....
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:14:58 PM EDT
my god have mercy on your soul
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:15:01 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 1911lover:
These "look what I cooked" threads are going downhill rapidly.

Burned "burger"? Really?

I'll have to go with a minus 55.

View Quote

i think by burning it, he actually probably improved the flavor of that burger abomination
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:15:17 PM EDT
LOL, dupe!
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:15:41 PM EDT
+1 for cool plate

1/10
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:16:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/30/2015 12:18:22 PM EDT by leswill]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Quintin:
Da'fuck is this shit?
View Quote


Burned meat, burned toast, no lettuce, tomato, pickles, onion-----Different strokes and all that. If you are happy---I am.

E.T.A---Perhaps he is joshing us, trolling us.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:16:19 PM EDT
Parody thread, but I like it
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:16:24 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:17:05 PM EDT
I made turkey burgers for my GSD every other day for 14 years. Red meat gave him the shits.

Chris
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:17:23 PM EDT
-5/10
-3 Turkey burger.
-3 No Bun.
-1 Terrible cooking. Burnt etc.
-1 Garlic? Really?
-2 Burnt toast? WTF
-3 Chinese mayonnaise?
-2 Parm?

This thread has derpes and aids.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:18:59 PM EDT
Wait, WUT???
Free range, no GMO, No hormones, No antibiotics...
Then you cooked it on Teflon????

So many levels of fail and not even gonna try to list them
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:19:31 PM EDT
Holy shit, I can see the marks where the jockey was flogging it.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:19:31 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By ChrisGarrett:
I made turkey burgers for my GSD every other day for 14 years. Red meat gave him the shits.

Chris
View Quote


LOL that is the only reason we have these damn things in my house. I make them for the dog. He was pissed I burnt this one but it was worth it.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:22:48 PM EDT
-13/10
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:23:51 PM EDT
Based on the dirty diapers, I assume you have a little one that is making you sleep deprived.

That would explain the thought process here, so you get a pass on trying to be funny with reduced cognitive function.

Unless you're one of those adult diaper fetishists. Which would also make sense with a burned turkey burger....but would be way more disturbing.

So, congrats on the kid! I hope?



Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:23:52 PM EDT
Ive scrapped better off the bottom of my boot.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:24:35 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/30/2015 12:25:35 PM EDT by rogueboss]
Turkey burgers for your dog? He deserves better
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:26:22 PM EDT
Welp, I was hungry for lunch
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:27:23 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By bakkbakk:
Well u sure as shit dont medium rare ground meat
View Quote
Wat?
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:27:56 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By bjohnson425:


LOL that is the only reason we have these damn things in my house. I make them for the dog. He was pissed I burnt this one but it was worth it.
View Quote View All Quotes
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By bjohnson425:
Originally Posted By ChrisGarrett:
I made turkey burgers for my GSD every other day for 14 years. Red meat gave him the shits.

Chris


LOL that is the only reason we have these damn things in my house. I make them for the dog. He was pissed I burnt this one but it was worth it.

WTF? Why? You mad at him? Did he shit on your rug or something?
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:29:25 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Subnet:

WTF? Why? You mad at him? Did he shit on your rug or something?
View Quote View All Quotes
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Subnet:
Originally Posted By bjohnson425:
Originally Posted By ChrisGarrett:
I made turkey burgers for my GSD every other day for 14 years. Red meat gave him the shits.

Chris


LOL that is the only reason we have these damn things in my house. I make them for the dog. He was pissed I burnt this one but it was worth it.

WTF? Why? You mad at him? Did he shit on your rug or something?


nah as stated red meat gives him the shits for some reason except for lamb, and he sure as fuck isn't getting lamb every few days. I love him but not that much
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:30:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/30/2015 12:32:34 PM EDT by semiautomatic]
Dat lunch tray!

ETA: Best burger retaliation thread ever!
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:33:26 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By bjohnson425:


nah as stated red meat gives him the shits for some reason except for lamb, and he sure as fuck isn't getting lamb every few days. I love him but not that much
View Quote View All Quotes
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By bjohnson425:
Originally Posted By Subnet:
Originally Posted By bjohnson425:
Originally Posted By ChrisGarrett:
I made turkey burgers for my GSD every other day for 14 years. Red meat gave him the shits.

Chris


LOL that is the only reason we have these damn things in my house. I make them for the dog. He was pissed I burnt this one but it was worth it.

WTF? Why? You mad at him? Did he shit on your rug or something?


nah as stated red meat gives him the shits for some reason except for lamb, and he sure as fuck isn't getting lamb every few days. I love him but not that much


Are you feeding him cooked red meat? That's where he's getting the shits.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:39:25 PM EDT
That made me laugh my ass off thanks OP.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:45:00 PM EDT
lol
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:46:36 PM EDT
Owned. Well played sir.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:51:27 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:56:07 PM EDT
Well played
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:57:13 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 12:59:33 PM EDT
Congratulations---you just made yourself a 15 minute turkey sandwhich---there is no Burger there!
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 1:00:06 PM EDT
Man I should have titled it rape my burger was it because I burnt the toast a little?
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 1:02:42 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By bjohnson425:
Man I should have titled it rape my burger was it because I burnt the toast a little?
View Quote

Biggest problem I see is using fake parmesan, instead of a freshly grated parmigiano reggiano. Unforgivable.

Other than that, it's culinary perfection.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 1:06:39 PM EDT
So many people fail at clicking Click To View Spoiler
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 1:10:03 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Subnet:

Biggest problem I see is using fake parmesan, instead of a freshly grated parmigiano reggiano. Unforgivable.

Other than that, it's culinary perfection.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Subnet:
Originally Posted By bjohnson425:
Man I should have titled it rape my burger was it because I burnt the toast a little?

Biggest problem I see is using fake parmesan, instead of a freshly grated parmigiano reggiano. Unforgivable.

Other than that, it's culinary perfection.


Link Posted: 4/30/2015 1:11:09 PM EDT
Burn your house down OP
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 1:13:55 PM EDT
My wife makes shit like that. It's why I do all the cooking.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 1:17:04 PM EDT
You would get a 10, but you are missing the AK.
Link Posted: 4/30/2015 1:18:40 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By gmtech825:

i think by burning it, he actually probably improved the flavor of that burger abomination
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By gmtech825:
Originally Posted By 1911lover:
These "look what I cooked" threads are going downhill rapidly.

Burned "burger"? Really?

I'll have to go with a minus 55.


i think by burning it, he actually probably improved the flavor of that burger abomination



Link Posted: 4/30/2015 1:21:00 PM EDT
Beautiful heirloom quality plates, OP.
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