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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:01:06 PM EDT
Be easy this is my first one of these!!
First you start with the highest quality hormone free non GMO free range no antibiotic steroid free turkey patty. 
Preheat your teflon ( must be teflon to avoid sticking like in a rough cast iron skillet) preheat on high with some olive oil then add your burger once it starts smoking black 
While its cooking add season salt and pepper prepare your fixings... I ran out of cheese slices so had to use grated Parmesan cheese ( great flavor) 
remove your burger when it is medium rare.. (crispy on the edges with a cool center) PERFECT! 
Add your Fixings ( siracha mayo, minced garlic, mustard, cheese) 
ENJOY!! 
Don't forget the last step! Click To View Spoiler |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:01:52 PM EDT
[#1]
0/10 for non red meat burger
Actually, it would be negative when finished reading, I dont even know where to start, so -87 |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:03:02 PM EDT
[#2]
 
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:04:10 PM EDT
[#3]
I hope you get AIDS.
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:05:09 PM EDT
[#4]
Dupe
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:05:56 PM EDT
[#5]
 @ "Crispy on the edges, cool in the center."
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:05:57 PM EDT
[#6]
Poop thread
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:08:12 PM EDT
[#7]
You burned it!
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:10:43 PM EDT
[#8]
Da'fuck is this shit?
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:11:54 PM EDT
[#9]
These "look what I cooked" threads are going downhill rapidly.
Burned "burger"? Really? I'll have to go with a minus 55.     
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:12:54 PM EDT
[#10]
Well u sure as shit dont medium rare ground meat
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:13:45 PM EDT
[#11]
That. Looks. Terrible.
I award you no points. |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:14:14 PM EDT
[#12]
You fucking burnt everything....
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:14:58 PM EDT
[#13]
my god have mercy on your soul
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:15:01 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
These "look what I cooked" threads are going downhill rapidly. Burned "burger"? Really? I'll have to go with a minus 55. i think by burning it, he actually probably improved the flavor of that burger abomination 
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:15:17 PM EDT
[#15]
LOL, dupe!
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:15:41 PM EDT
[#16]
+1 for cool plate
1/10 
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:16:18 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Da'fuck is this shit? Burned meat, burned toast, no lettuce, tomato, pickles, onion-----Different strokes and all that. If you are happy---I am. E.T.A---Perhaps he is joshing us, trolling us. |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:16:19 PM EDT
[#18]
Parody thread, but I like it
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:16:24 PM EDT
[#19]
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:17:05 PM EDT
[#20]
I made turkey burgers for my GSD every other day for 14 years. Red meat gave him the shits.
Chris |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:17:23 PM EDT
[#21]
-5/10
-3 Turkey burger. -3 No Bun. -1 Terrible cooking. Burnt etc. -1 Garlic? Really? -2 Burnt toast? WTF -3 Chinese mayonnaise? -2 Parm? This thread has derpes and aids. |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:18:59 PM EDT
[#22]
Wait, WUT???
Free range, no GMO, No hormones, No antibiotics... Then you cooked it on Teflon???? So many levels of fail and not even gonna try to list them |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:19:31 PM EDT
[#23]
Holy shit, I can see the marks where the jockey was flogging it.
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:19:31 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I made turkey burgers for my GSD every other day for 14 years. Red meat gave him the shits. Chris LOL that is the only reason we have these damn things in my house. I make them for the dog. He was pissed I burnt this one  but it was worth it.
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:22:48 PM EDT
[#25]
-13/10
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:23:51 PM EDT
[#26]
Based on the dirty diapers, I assume you have a little one that is making you sleep deprived.
That would explain the thought process here, so you get a pass on trying to be funny with reduced cognitive function.
Unless you're one of those adult diaper fetishists. Which would also make sense with a burned turkey burger....but would be way more disturbing. So, congrats on the kid! I hope? |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:23:52 PM EDT
[#27]
Ive scrapped better off the bottom of my boot.
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:24:35 PM EDT
[#28]
Turkey burgers for your dog?
 He deserves better
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:26:22 PM EDT
[#29]
Welp, I was hungry for lunch
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:27:23 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Well u sure as shit dont medium rare ground meat |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:27:56 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
LOL that is the only reason we have these damn things in my house. I make them for the dog. He was pissed I burnt this one but it was worth it.Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I made turkey burgers for my GSD every other day for 14 years. Red meat gave him the shits. Chris LOL that is the only reason we have these damn things in my house. I make them for the dog. He was pissed I burnt this one but it was worth it.WTF? Why? You mad at him? Did he shit on your rug or something? |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:29:25 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
WTF? Why? You mad at him? Did he shit on your rug or something? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I made turkey burgers for my GSD every other day for 14 years. Red meat gave him the shits. Chris LOL that is the only reason we have these damn things in my house. I make them for the dog. He was pissed I burnt this one but it was worth it.WTF? Why? You mad at him? Did he shit on your rug or something? nah as stated red meat gives him the shits for some reason except for lamb, and he sure as fuck isn't getting lamb every few days. I love him but not that much
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:30:22 PM EDT
[#33]
Dat lunch tray!
ETA: Best burger retaliation thread ever! |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:33:26 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
nah as stated red meat gives him the shits for some reason except for lamb, and he sure as fuck isn't getting lamb every few days. I love him but not that much Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I made turkey burgers for my GSD every other day for 14 years. Red meat gave him the shits. Chris LOL that is the only reason we have these damn things in my house. I make them for the dog. He was pissed I burnt this one but it was worth it.WTF? Why? You mad at him? Did he shit on your rug or something? nah as stated red meat gives him the shits for some reason except for lamb, and he sure as fuck isn't getting lamb every few days. I love him but not that much Are you feeding him cooked red meat? That's where he's getting the shits. |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:39:25 PM EDT
[#35]
That made me laugh my ass off thanks OP.
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:45:00 PM EDT
[#36]
lol
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:46:36 PM EDT
[#37]
Owned. Well played sir.
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:51:27 PM EDT
[#38]
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:56:07 PM EDT
[#39]
 Well played
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:57:13 PM EDT
[#40]
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Posted: 4/30/2015 12:59:33 PM EDT
[#41]
Congratulations---you just made yourself a 15 minute turkey sandwhich---there is no Burger there!
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Posted: 4/30/2015 1:00:06 PM EDT
[#42]
Man I should have titled it rape my burger
was it because I burnt the toast a little?
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Posted: 4/30/2015 1:02:42 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Man I should have titled it rape my burger was it because I burnt the toast a little?Biggest problem I see is using fake parmesan, instead of a freshly grated parmigiano reggiano. Unforgivable. Other than that, it's culinary perfection. |
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Posted: 4/30/2015 1:06:39 PM EDT
[#44]
So many people fail at clicking Click To View Spoiler
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Posted: 4/30/2015 1:10:03 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Biggest problem I see is using fake parmesan, instead of a freshly grated parmigiano reggiano. Unforgivable. Other than that, it's culinary perfection. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Man I should have titled it rape my burger was it because I burnt the toast a little?Biggest problem I see is using fake parmesan, instead of a freshly grated parmigiano reggiano. Unforgivable. Other than that, it's culinary perfection.
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Posted: 4/30/2015 1:11:09 PM EDT
[#46]
Burn your house down OP
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Posted: 4/30/2015 1:13:55 PM EDT
[#47]
My wife makes shit like that. It's why I do all the cooking.
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Posted: 4/30/2015 1:17:04 PM EDT
[#48]
You would get a 10, but you are missing the AK.
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Posted: 4/30/2015 1:18:40 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
i think by burning it, he actually probably improved the flavor of that burger abomination Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
These "look what I cooked" threads are going downhill rapidly. Burned "burger"? Really? I'll have to go with a minus 55. i think by burning it, he actually probably improved the flavor of that burger abomination
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Posted: 4/30/2015 1:21:00 PM EDT
[#50]
Beautiful heirloom quality plates, OP.
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