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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
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Posted: 8/3/2005 9:10:30 AM EDT
"If the gorilla pushes me out of the tree, shoot the dog."
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:12:15 AM EDT
So the idiot says, "Don't bother to wrap it...I'll eat it here".


----
Guess the movie
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:14:26 AM EDT
"This is a hardware store!"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:15:07 AM EDT
Dam


ByteTheBullet (-:
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:15:20 AM EDT
"BAM!...Right in her mouth!"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:15:42 AM EDT
" So the sailor says OK then, how about a little head?"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:16:25 AM EDT
"Thanks...I just peeled the scabs off."
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:19:35 AM EDT
"well, if 8" isn't good enough for you I'm leaving".
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:19:54 AM EDT
"What do you think I am a friggin' fireman"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:20:09 AM EDT
Texashark!



­

j/k
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:20:31 AM EDT
"with a pitchfork!"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:21:04 AM EDT
"Oral sex makes your whole day, anal sex makes your hole weak."
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:23:56 AM EDT
"Here's your Christmas tree, Santa. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:25:10 AM EDT
"....He needed the money."
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:25:13 AM EDT
Velcro on the bottom of the pool.....

Booger on the dashboard...

Eileen.

Irene.

Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:25:49 AM EDT
So I kicked her in the mouth and broke his dick!
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:34:19 AM EDT
So the aardvark says "Seven."
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:36:14 AM EDT
"Rectum? DAMN NEAR KILLED EM!"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:36:48 AM EDT
"No, because snakes don't have legs"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:37:03 AM EDT
AHHHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:38:39 AM EDT
"so I put it in her butt."
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:39:09 AM EDT
"OK I'll try it but you can't hit me over the head with a beer bottle."
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:39:52 AM EDT
Damn, now I want to hear some of these jokes.
I know some of the ones from the punchlines, but others...
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:40:37 AM EDT
"I sit around all day watching porn and eating Cheetos."
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:40:56 AM EDT
What you mean "In Wrong Hole"?

Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:41:14 AM EDT
"One ducks"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:41:46 AM EDT
"Damn superman your a mean son of a bitch when you've been drinking"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:42:25 AM EDT
..... so I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth!
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:42:30 AM EDT
So that night he put his bowling ball in the toilet.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:43:15 AM EDT
"getting blood on your clown costume"

Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:44:39 AM EDT
"I don't know," said the Invisible Man, "but my ass is killing me."
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:45:33 AM EDT
"a good start"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:45:48 AM EDT
We're gonna get that one for breaking and entering and the one for leaving the scene.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:45:59 AM EDT
" Thats OK, I'm riding my Harley".
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:47:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SirDrinksAlot:
"Damn superman your a mean son of a bitch when you've been drinking"



Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:47:30 AM EDT
I said I need a pair of plyers, in the box, under the seat!
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:47:51 AM EDT
"Thats interesting, but I wish you would remove my panty hose"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:48:47 AM EDT
5! One to hold the light bulb, and four to turn the ladder.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:50:09 AM EDT
I'm not sick, but the guy before you was.....

Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:55:42 AM EDT
....its$20,same as in town.

Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:56:19 AM EDT
"Excuse me,
Do you have any Duck Food?"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 9:56:56 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/3/2005 9:57:30 AM EDT by Master_of_Orion]
"If it weren't for my Horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college"



"the last one trips and says 'OH @*&#!'"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 10:02:10 AM EDT
......if Tina has to stick her ass in it, I'm gonna gargle with it first
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 10:25:49 AM EDT
"One is a good year, the other is a fucking great year"


"He wasn't kissing me, he was whispering in my ear wondering if we had any vasolene. I told him it was under the sink. Stay strong honey I love you too!"
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 10:26:27 AM EDT
That dog would bite you.

The moral of the story: Don't F____ with Uncle Frank when he's been drinking.

The Aristocrats.

R.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 11:00:41 AM EDT
That's all right, if ten didn't get the taste out of my mouth, two more wouldn't help.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 11:02:39 AM EDT
ARRRRRR, it drives me nuts
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 11:07:40 AM EDT
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!


Becau­se their husbands have Hallo-weenies
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 11:07:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/3/2005 11:09:08 AM EDT by mjohn3006]
To get to the other side.



Oh come on, someone was bound to say it eventually.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 11:11:42 AM EDT
" ..........looks like you blew a seal ! "

Man Show Chimp skits
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 11:15:14 AM EDT
Three, one to change the lightbulb,

and two to say "dude, you look totally ripped"
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