repoted by the weekly world news so it must be true!


By MIGUEL FIGUEROA

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan -- Terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden always portrayed himself as a devout practitioner of Islam, but he had some wild-and-woolly experiences -- including a sizzling two-week fling with a goat!

That's the shocking claim of six captured Al Qaeda fighters who say that oddball Osama was "absolutely smitten" with his hard-headed companion, named Naomi, and became violently jealous when any of his men tried to approach her.

"When we pumped these former henchmen for information, we were hoping to learn something about bin Laden's personal habits that might lead us to him -- we were stunned when we heard about this," said a CIA source involved in the debriefing.

"None of us had any illusions that bin Laden was any sort of angel, but that he was involved in something this sick is just nauseating.

"At first," the source said, "we thought the men might have been making it up just because they thought we Americans wanted to hear something bad about bin Laden -- but the details of their stories all matched. And one of them even supplied us with a photo of bin Laden petting the goat -- while giving her the kind of look most normal men reserve for their girlfriends."

The CIA operative said the prisoners revealed startling tidbits about the bizarre "shear-bliss" relationship:

Infatuated bin Laden went nowhere without Naomi the goat, even having her nestle at his feet during important planning meetings.
He and the goat often bathed in a tub together.
Bin Laden frequently serenaded his "sweetheart" with traditional Arab love ballads -- and recited erotic poetry as well.
He was often seen patting Naomi's rump -- but would strike any man who attempted to touch her.
The odd couple shared bin Laden's tent at night on at least 11 occasions.
Peculiar "baa" sounds could be heard coming from bin Laden's tent at all hours of the night.
"The men told us that whenever bin Laden emerged from his tent in the morning, he would smell of goat so strongly it would turn their stomachs," the CIA source said.

The relationship began in early August and fizzled out about two weeks later, the prisoners told the CIA, when bin Laden caught Naomi nuzzling a farmer's ram.

"He went into a fit of anger and ordered both animals shot as punishment for their 'wicked behavior,'" the CIA source said.

Bin Laden's "horny" habits come as no surprise to Saudi Arabian intelligence sources who've been keeping tabs on the notorious terrorist leader for years.

"Osama has al-ways had a strong sex drive, which he's tried mightily to repress," revealed a high-level Saudi intelligence source. "When he took to the mountains without a woman in sight, surrounded by nothing but goats and barren wilderness, he obviously intended to abstain from sex -- as he ordered his fighters to do.

"But obviously, he lacked the willpower to remain completely celibate," said the Saudi official.

The captured Al Qaeda fighters told CIA debriefers that bin Laden showed a softer, gentler side when he was with Naomi.

"Once I saw him kiss her on the lips and call her by a pet name that means 'Angel Face,'" one prisoner reportedly said. "He would spend hours grooming her while humming old love songs."

But bin Laden's lovey-dovey attitude changed in a hurry when Naomi was caught "cheating" on him.

"When Osama learned of Naomi's betrayal, his heart hardened," the prisoner went on. "And after he had her shot, he showed no emotion when we had her for dinner."

Bin Laden's former followers told the CIA that while the leader's outlandish behavior was common knowledge, they were forbidden to speak of it.

They said one man mysteriously vanished from the camp after he joked about bin Laden "catching hoof-and-mouth disease" from his unusual consort. His body turned up days later, riddled with bullets.

The CIA source said bin Laden had every reason for enforcing a code of silence.

"He knew that if he were exposed, he'd lose all credibility among his fanatically devout Muslim followers," said the CIA source. "He could even be stoned to death for committing an act that, according to the strict laws of Islam, is an abomination."
 

Well, at least she wasn't named "Juan." [shock]

That's just baaaaaaaaaaaaaad.