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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:08:43 AM EDT
Yea, my Mom is from North Carolina, and God knows I got the belt, and even had to go out and retrieve my own switches
 , but the funniest and most memorable punishment I ever suffered is when my Dad caught me sneaking in 12 bottles of Miller High Life in Middle School (it was for later on a Saturday night). I shit you not, his "punishment" was to make me drink them all in front of him. As long as I live, I'll never forget his making me drink them all on a Sunday afternoon, in the kitchen, while I sat at the dinner table and watched cheapo import King Fu movies on broadcast DC channel 20. I suspect he thought I'd get sick as a dog, but I just ended up getting silly, and then tired, and then I slept it off that night. Honest story. God bless my Dad. 
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:13:04 AM EDT
[#1]
That's kinda fucked up.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:17:10 AM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That's kinda fucked up. It was great. He was just trying to teach me a lesson. And it's reason number 231 that I was subsequently sent off to military school.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:20:10 AM EDT
[#3]
The wife's family had a good one when the kids would start fighting each other.
They had to sit on the couch and hold hands till their mother said stop. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:23:44 AM EDT
[#4]
My dad has some stories.
There was a kid on the bus that always gave the bus driver trouble...so one day the bus driver ran over the kid's dog while the kid was on the bus. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:24:15 AM EDT
[#5]
Finding the switch that I was going to get thrashed with was the worst.
"It better be a good one or I'll go get something better." FML
eta.. the whole idea behind that was the psychology of choosing your own punishment. There was no physical abuse, a spanking, yes. But that was secondary. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:27:25 AM EDT
[#6]
I remember as a young lad being forced to wash dishes... My grandmother had a platter that was a hideous shade of blue and she was quite fond of it. I "accidentally" let it slip from my hands and hit the floor, and upon landing the plate shattered into several pieces. She was quite upset and sent me into the living room to see the old man who was reading the evening paper. As I stood in front of him quietly waiting . He folded the paper and wanted to know why I was there; My grand mother immediately chimed in that I had broke her plate on purpose etc....
The old man ask me my intentions, and I did my best to convince him the breaking of the plate was purely unintentional. My grandmother left me in the hands of justice returning to the kitchen. I anticipated that a session with the strap would commence shortly, but the old man pulled his wallet out and gave me a dollar as he stared at me with the one good eye he had left ( the other had been left in Korea). I heard his deep voice tell me " I never did like the color of that damn plate, but if you break one more dish I will beat you to death." After that pep talk he sent back to the kitchen to finish washing dishes. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:30:52 AM EDT
[#7]
To this day I cringe in fear of buggy whips.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:37:34 AM EDT
[#8]
I didn't get smacked or hit after age 7...it changed to worse kinds of punishment. I trust very few people now. ETA: Nearing 30 probably doesn't count as older...does it?
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:40:19 AM EDT
[#9]
I've got a cross on one arm made with cigarette burns to remind me why I shouldn't ask questions about going to church. Does that count?
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:43:23 AM EDT
[#10]
Abuse isn't silly or funny.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:43:47 AM EDT
[#11]
Don't really remember any silly or funny ones...
We also had to go out & get the switch.. If she had to go out, you knew it would be twice as bad. Mom would also use her shoe she may be wearing.. I do remember trying to run for my life when the only thing she could reach was a skillet.. She would use whatever was available. Then there was always Dads belts.. 
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:44:26 AM EDT
[#12]
Our yard was full of dandelion. A half acre.
Pulling them by hand. For a few hours. Things grew back so it was like the Greek guy rolling that big rock up the hill. Sisyphus That sucked. I'd rather catch a whooping. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:45:56 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Our yard was full of dandelion. A half acre. Pulling them by hand. For a few hours. Things grew back so it was like the Greek guy rolling that big rock up the hill. Sisyphus That sucked. I'd rather catch a whooping. I'll be honest, every whooping I received was well earned. God bless my parents for not abandoning me at a rest stop.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:48:39 AM EDT
[#14]
I know this is going over like a wet fart in white pants, but I was never whipped.
I've raised 4 kids, and never "whipped" any of them. Maybe we're just genetically superior. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:48:55 AM EDT
[#15]
I used to have to go and cut the switch that my momma would whup my ass with.
I taped my daughter and her cousins hand together for an hour when they wouldn't get along with each other. I made my nephew whup his own ass with a switch when he tried to snatch a rifle away from my son while we were shooting. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:50:48 AM EDT
[#16]
There was the time I sabotaged the lawnmower so I would get out of cutting the grass on a Saturday. My father handed me a pair of scissors and told me to get busy on the lawn.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:52:00 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I know this is going over like a wet fart in white pants, but I was never whipped. I've raised 4 kids, and never "whipped" any of them. Maybe we're just genetically superior. They used to call this coddling a child...
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:52:13 AM EDT
[#18]
I guess the only one I could put in that category was when my father bought me a car even though I still was driving my first(and I paid for it) car. It was a pretty hot car and he was kind of regretting it by the time he gave it to me. My first car was still in the town where my mother lived and I drove it back with the help of friends. 2 weeks later, we're playing a game of 'cat & mouse' on the streets, I hit my friend's car, we go thru a stop sign, fire hydrant and some young trees in my new car. Fun night.
I get 3 tickets from the cops, taken to the station, have to call my mother to come get me and get read the riot act. She took the keys to both of my cars even though I was living with dad in another town and couldn't get back without a vehicle and told me to figure out how to get back to him. Thank God for Greyhound buses. Never played another game of 'cat & mouse' in a car again. I was cut off from not 1 but 2 cars that I owned. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:53:38 AM EDT
[#19]
Not me, but a coworker told me this story. When he got in trouble his dad would make him pick a toy and smash it with a hammer. I just got beat like a normal kid.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:55:33 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I know this is going over like a wet fart in white pants, but I was never whipped. I've raised 4 kids, and never "whipped" any of them. Maybe we're just genetically superior. I hear you, but I'm talking decades past - not the "new age". In the 60s and 70s, it was a different world in so many respects. I for one was a little demon back then. I'm glad my parents didn't "lose" me.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:55:53 AM EDT
[#21]
The worst punishment was shame. "I'm disappointed in you." The look, the... disappointment.
I'd have taken a whipping every time over that. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:56:28 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I've got a cross on one arm made with cigarette burns to remind me why I shouldn't ask questions about going to church. Does that count? WTF? What was foster care like? When I was in 7th grade the new, first year social studies teacher made me push a wadded up piece of paper around the room with my nose after I shot it at the wastebasket and missed. It was funny at the time and of course I jammed it up which made him even more angry. He was also involved as a coach in all the high school sports I played in and was on my ass constantly. A few years after high school I was home on summer break from college and ran into his early 30's milfy estranged wife at a bar. They had separated and were divorcing. Yeah, I fucked her. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:57:04 AM EDT
[#23]
Got duct taped by the wrist and ankle to a cousin once.
We were fighting like mad over something or another, I forget what. Anyone remember Acme steel brooms? They make a distinctive "Wssshhhhh" in the dark just before the stars show up, when getting busted sneaking back in at 0400.
Got grounded to the Barn a couple times for not getting chores done. Three days of sleeping in the barn ain't bad, unless it's summer and the skeeters are out. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:57:09 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Our yard was full of dandelion. A half acre. Pulling them by hand. For a few hours. Things grew back so it was like the Greek guy rolling that big rock up the hill. Sisyphus That sucked. I'd rather catch a whooping. Awwww. That should have been a great intro to Albert Camus... |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 1:59:03 AM EDT
[#25]
In before the Chunk - Goonie quote.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:09:47 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Abuse isn't silly or funny. If you're lucky, it teaches you everything you shouldn't do in a very short timespan. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:27:00 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I hear you, but I'm talking decades past - not the "new age". In the 60s and 70s, it was a different world in so many respects. I for one was a little demon back then. I'm glad my parents didn't "lose" me. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I know this is going over like a wet fart in white pants, but I was never whipped. I've raised 4 kids, and never "whipped" any of them. Maybe we're just genetically superior. I hear you, but I'm talking decades past - not the "new age". In the 60s and 70s, it was a different world in so many respects. I for one was a little demon back then. I'm glad my parents didn't "lose" me. I'm 50. My father rose to the rank of O7 in the military. I grew up on military bases. While I work in banking, two of my kids are studying to be engineers, petroleum and electrical, one is a pre-med, and the other is an honor student in an academically competitive private school. I never received any corporal punishment, nor did any of my kids. Maybe this is a habit of lessor people? |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:30:33 AM EDT
[#28]
I was generally a good kid but I mouthed off one time and my dad made me rake the yard. It was close to 1/2 acre and I raked every square inch of that yard.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:49:11 AM EDT
[#29]
my mother would make me stand or kneel on little pebbles or rice and hold out a bucket of water. she'd whack me with this bamboo rod during the process. initially i had thought she was being devious. i came to realize she was secretly conditioning myself to become a kumite champion. well, that's what i tell myself.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 3:04:55 AM EDT
[#30]
My dad would give me a bucket and I would have to go into the yard and pick up rocks... until the bucket was full.
We had a gravel driveway so sometimes I cheated. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 3:13:56 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm 50. My father rose to the rank of O7 in the military. I grew up on military bases. While I work in banking, two of my kids are studying to be engineers, petroleum and electrical, one is a pre-med, and the other is an honor student in an academically competitive private school. I never received any corporal punishment, nor did any of my kids. Maybe this is a habit of lessor people? |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 3:18:40 AM EDT
[#32]
Somewhere around the age of 8 in circa 1960 my dad caught me and a friend puffing on a cigarette the friend stole from his dad.
My dad made me smoke one Winston cig right behind the other until I was green sick. I don't smoke and consider tobacco total and absolute weak shit to this day. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 3:21:26 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yea, my Dad is a retired Colonel that did pretty well, and I grew up on military bases around the world, too. But thank goodness your parents taught you manners. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I'm 50. My father rose to the rank of O7 in the military. I grew up on military bases. While I work in banking, two of my kids are studying to be engineers, petroleum and electrical, one is a pre-med, and the other is an honor student in an academically competitive private school. I never received any corporal punishment, nor did any of my kids. Maybe this is a habit of lessor people? You're being very gracious, and I don't want to "Troll" your tread. But I'm not a big believer in corporal punishment. I don't understand it. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 3:23:29 AM EDT
[#34]
My parents made me eat dinner in the garage when I misbehaved at the table. Several times
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Posted: 12/18/2016 3:27:32 AM EDT
[#35]
Sometimes the old man would stick a black cat in my jeans back pocket to wake me up if I fell asleep in my clothes
Other times when we would curse, he would make us pour a table spoon of tobasco in our mouth for a while. Same thing when we were late to wake up...a freshly cut jalapeno pepper rubbed on the lips wakes you the fuck up asap.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 3:31:10 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Abuse isn't silly or funny. Sure it is! I laugh like hell every time I remember my father burning the soles of my feet with a blow torch and then making me walk five miles to school the next day! |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:28:03 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm 50. My father rose to the rank of O7 in the military. I grew up on military bases. While I work in banking, two of my kids are studying to be engineers, petroleum and electrical, one is a pre-med, and the other is an honor student in an academically competitive private school. I never received any corporal punishment, nor did any of my kids. Maybe this is a habit of lessor people? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I know this is going over like a wet fart in white pants, but I was never whipped. I've raised 4 kids, and never "whipped" any of them. Maybe we're just genetically superior. I hear you, but I'm talking decades past - not the "new age". In the 60s and 70s, it was a different world in so many respects. I for one was a little demon back then. I'm glad my parents didn't "lose" me. I'm 50. My father rose to the rank of O7 in the military. I grew up on military bases. While I work in banking, two of my kids are studying to be engineers, petroleum and electrical, one is a pre-med, and the other is an honor student in an academically competitive private school. I never received any corporal punishment, nor did any of my kids. Maybe this is a habit of lessor people? Just imagine what you could have become with a good ass whupping now and then. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:32:48 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Abuse isn't silly or funny. This. Until you join the Army, and get introduced to the "dying cockroach". |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:34:30 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Somewhere around the age of 8 in circa 1960 my dad caught me and a friend puffing on a cigarette the friend stole from his dad. My dad made me smoke one Winston cig right behind the other until I was green sick. I don't smoke and consider tobacco total and absolute weak shit to this day. My dad said my grandpa did the same thing to him and his brother with a carton of smokes, my dad said never again. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:36:57 PM EDT
[#40]
I've seen this put to good use.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:38:45 PM EDT
[#41]
If we talked back or didn't do something our parents asked us to, we got a bar of Ivory soap rubbed in our mouths or we got the belt from Dad or the wooden spoon from Mom. That's just the way it was back then.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:39:18 PM EDT
[#42]
whenever we (i) got caught doing shit, we'd (i'd) be dragged into the middle of the room and getting a beating with this:
driving down the highway, if some shit got started in the back seat, we'd pull over onto the shoulder, dragged out of the car, and get a beating with this:
the parents picked up a few when we were kids, either at tweetsie railroad blowing rock, or some other such bullshit place. one was kept in each car, and a few were around the house. getting beatings with them, were a pretty regular thing, for us (me). oh wait, you said silly or funny, didn't you....
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:44:02 PM EDT
[#43]
here is a pretty awful one that doesn't sound to bad but hurts as a kid. I got in trouble for something and I was a a little kid maybe 6 or 7. My dad sprinkled some rice on the floor in a corner. I had to kneel on the floor with my knees on the rice, staring into the corner holding a book on my head with my hands. I was only subjected to this once and have no idea where my dad got this fucking idea but let me tell you it hurt like hell and it lasted for about 20 minutes before my dad said I could get off the floor. I think that would qualify as torture now days.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:45:41 PM EDT
[#44]
There was nothing silly or funny about the ass-whuppin's I received as a kid.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:47:10 PM EDT
[#45]
Thread reminded me of a joke by Dave Attel.
Goes like this... "My dad used to beat me pretty bad when I was little. I can't blame him though. It was the only way he could get a hard on" 
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:55:00 PM EDT
[#46]
Hearing a belt come out through the loops real fast had the "racking a pump shotgun" effect on me when I was a kid...I usually just froze
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Posted: 12/18/2016 2:56:15 PM EDT
[#47]
Only 5-6 yrs old. For whatever reason, I chose to use the word "hell". Actually my parents were stepping out for the evening and I wanted to go with them instead of sitting at home with the baby sitter. My offer was declined therefore I responded by telling my mom where she could go. My mom went to the laundry room, got a small cup of Tide powders, poured it into my mouth and then swabbed my mouth out with a wet wash cloth. Never happened again. I also don't use Tide powders.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 3:00:14 PM EDT
[#48]
WWII- aged caretaker of grade school related that as a young child he had stolen something. Somehow his punishment ended up involving his entire small town, and his sentence was to sit on the back of a billy goat for an hour without falling or getting bucked off. took him five hours.
ETA the same town also had a strong tradition of the Belschnickel (like krampus) from the 1880s to at least 1960s. he was the belschnickel as a young man. |
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Posted: 12/18/2016 3:03:34 PM EDT
[#49]
At the end of my junior year of high school I went to my sisters graduation party. She didn't drink, but I did and promptly got wasted. First time ever getting drunk. After I foolishly drove myself home, my mother caught me before I could get to my room. I was so sick the next morning but had to go to work and got sent home. No sleeping it off for me. I was tasked with digging a 6'x6'x 3 foot deep hole in the yard to burn our garbage in. I could not talk her into just beating the hell out of me and let me got to bed.
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Posted: 12/18/2016 3:04:53 PM EDT
[#50]
My dad sent me out to run laps around the house when I was too energetic. Usually it was after I had been cooped up all day and it was dark and snowy.
It's probably the most effective punishment for my oldest son now. |
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