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Posted: 9/27/2004 11:33:39 AM EST
I recently got married, and although my wife knew what she was getting into - I can't get her to even come with me to the range for just a little while when I want to sling some lead with a new toy.

The sport and enjoyment of shooting is very important to me, and I hate that she can't make herself enjoy it with me. I know a trip or two a month with me won't kill her. But she just has no desire.

I've tried talking to her about it but she just won't make the effort to break down the pre-conceived notions that she's going to hate it. Do you have any ideas what exactly I could do to coherce her into bearing with it and going with me? I know that over time she would probably come to enjoy it a little. What do you women enjoy about shooting?

Thanks for the input.
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 11:34:57 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/27/2004 11:36:43 AM EST by wedge1082]
Have you tried taking her to the range at gun point?

eta - Just one man's opinion.
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 11:35:40 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/27/2004 11:41:48 AM EST by BeetleBailey]

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Have you tried taking her to the range at gun point?

eta - Just one man's opnion.



It's a trap!!

p.s. Actually, when I got my new upper receiver I did meet her in the parking lot after work before she could make it to her car, and made her get in to go with me for a little while.
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 11:42:50 AM EST
See if you can talk her into going with you for a short time. Tell her she doesn't have to shoot,but you would enjoy her company. Do you have friends whose wives shoot? If you do have them meet you out there so she could talk with them. Sometimes listening to other women who enjoy it might get her to want to at least try it. I would not force the issue,since that would probably make her dig her heels in more. I even liked shooting before I went into the Army,but really, really liked it when I was in and even now. My favorite is the 50 cal. if only I could afford one. I wish you luck,maybe you could have her join us in the womens forum.
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 11:44:14 AM EST
Make a bargain with her: you will go someplace/ do something with her that you have no interest whatsoever in if she will go with you to the range. QS has had to suffer through the quilt shop at times for me to go to the range with him. Also, are you sure that she doesn't want to go because she hates it or because she would really rather be doing something else? I don't hate going to the range, but I hate to give up what little free time I have to go and do something I would rather not? Good Luck!

ML
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 11:47:22 AM EST
How 'bout......quit complaining, it's too late to change her, you shoulda worked this out beforehand?
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 11:48:47 AM EST
Just bring her to the FOP shoot. My wife will be there and I am sure there will be other women. Tell her she can talk if she doesn't want to shoot. I mean why would she not want to go.


Another option is find a picture of a really hot girl and say she will be at the shoot and then your wife will be more than willing to come along.
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 12:02:17 PM EST
If she isn't anti-gun and anti-gun ownership then my 2 cents is just let her be. Who cares if she doesn't want it to be her hobby? My husband loves golf, I don't. I have no interest in going - I have played a couple of times and it isn't my cup of tea. I on the other hand have a horse and love to ride. My husband has no interest in it and has never even sat on the animal that he pays for. No biggie. It's ok to have separate hobbies.
If she is anti then I would try and work on her going to the range. If she just isn't interested then ah well.... Consider it your "guy" time.
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 12:28:21 PM EST
Frame it as a self-defense type thing. I have Mrs. Wedge being a willing participant in practicing home invasion scenarios with me, due to this stupid BTK guy here. She could shoot before I met her (thanks to my Father-in-law), but now I have her running down the hall, gun and baby in hand, to the safe room while I cover her. Family time is fun.
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 12:33:44 PM EST
Don't force it.

She doesn't want to be there.

Just as you probably wont be at (___fill in the blank_______) where she enjoys herself.

It is important for both, as individuals, to have their place to go to kick up their heels , blow off steam, or simply to do their thing.

As long as it isn't illegal, immoral, or disrespectful of the other partner.....let it be.

P.S. had a similar challenge.
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 12:40:11 PM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Frame it as a self-defense type thing. I have Mrs. Wedge being a willing participant in practicing home invasion scenarios with me, due to this stupid BTK guy here. She could shoot before I met her (thanks to my Father-in-law), but now I have her running down the hall, gun and baby in hand, to the safe room while I cover her. Family time is fun.



Billy the Kid? Cool!
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 12:42:55 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/27/2004 12:44:30 PM EST by Hokie]
size matters, show her a Desert Eagle


I don't have that problem....because ...
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 1:29:29 PM EST
There are several comments I can make about this situation.

Did one or both of you think you would be able to change the other after marriage? That does not work; marry a person you can accept as they are (that advise is too late for you).

If she only resists going because she believes she is not going to like it, she needs to try shooting before she makes a decision. She may actually enjoy it. Ask her to go just once and try it. You could bargain and agree to attend something with her that you don't enjoy. I believe a person should at least try anything their spouse/SO enjoys at least once. It lets them know you are interested in what they like and do and it may be an activity that the two of you will enjoy together. However, I do not believe that the person should be forced to do the activity if they don't enjoy it after they have tried it.

While it is good to have activities that you enjoy together, you also need to have time to yourself. I realize you are newly married so you may still be in the stage where you want to be together all the time and share everything. More than likely there will come a time that you will both want 'me time'. If she does not become interested in guns, there has to be something she does that you'd rather not participate in.

What do I enjoy about shooting? It gives me a sense of accomplishment (when I shoot well), it relieves stress, and it gives me a sense of power. And it helps knowing that I can defend myself.
Something just occurred to me. Do you think she may have a fear of not doing well? I did before I started shooting; luckily I shot well the first time.
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 1:33:45 PM EST

Thanks for the input. BTW I'm amazed at the number of guys who check this board regularly.

This may have to be something that I just try to chip away at a little at a time. If I get nowhere after a while I may just hang it up and go ahead and consider it my 'guy time' as advised.
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 4:32:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:
Thanks for the input. BTW I'm amazed at the number of guys who check this board regularly.

This may have to be something that I just try to chip away at a little at a time. If I get nowhere after a while I may just hang it up and go ahead and consider it my 'guy time' as advised.



male posts in the women's forum would dramatically decrease if it didn't show up in Active Topics....



[Leon Phelps] it'd be a very lonely place though, wouldn't it ladies? [/Leon Phelps]
Link Posted: 9/27/2004 4:49:47 PM EST

Originally Posted By arowneragain:

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Frame it as a self-defense type thing. I have Mrs. Wedge being a willing participant in practicing home invasion scenarios with me, due to this stupid BTK guy here. She could shoot before I met her (thanks to my Father-in-law), but now I have her running down the hall, gun and baby in hand, to the safe room while I cover her. Family time is fun.



Billy the Kid? Cool!



No...... much scarier...it was a typo...wedge really meant to type "TBK1"....the serial moderator...


....seriously though....abcnews.go.com/wire/US/ap20040820_1499.html
Link Posted: 9/29/2004 4:40:00 AM EST

Originally Posted By GunnyG:

Originally Posted By arowneragain:

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Frame it as a self-defense type thing. I have Mrs. Wedge being a willing participant in practicing home invasion scenarios with me, due to this stupid BTK guy here. She could shoot before I met her (thanks to my Father-in-law), but now I have her running down the hall, gun and baby in hand, to the safe room while I cover her. Family time is fun.



Billy the Kid? Cool!



No...... much scarier...it was a typo...wedge really meant to type "TBK1"....the serial moderator...
photos.ar15.com/Galleries/Avatars/4407.gif

....seriously though....abcnews.go.com/wire/US/ap20040820_1499.html





Link Posted: 9/29/2004 5:21:52 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/29/2004 5:22:15 AM EST by wedge1082]

Originally Posted By arowneragain:

No...... much scarier...it was a typo...wedge really meant to type "TBK1"....the serial moderator...
photos.ar15.com/Galleries/Avatars/4407.gif

....seriously though....abcnews.go.com/wire/US/ap20040820_1499.html




yeah BTK has got quite a few people here freaked out. The news has played it up good.

I am not to worried though. My bet is that BTK is now a old man and he has never broke into a home where a AR lives.
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