Posted: 5/31/2012 2:45:41 AM EDT
After a year or so of absence the chimp fighting thread is back. (These always went well) 
Could you beat a chimp? -Hand to hand, no guns -Stuck in a cage or enclosed space -$10 million prize if you win
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One of my bosses swears he would do it if he had the chance. Has he seen the chimp attack photos? Well that's attacks on unexpecting people. If I'm entering a cage ready to fight a chimp to the death while wearing nothing but a loincloth, then I promise he ain't gonna walk out, especially for that much gravy. You gotta picture him putting beans in your chili or throwing his shit on your old lady and then you go into BEAST MODE.
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Quoted: You would lose your junk and most of your face. This guy lost his balls and well this is what he looks like today. http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.391003!/img/httpImage/image.jpg Always fight bite back! |
| Now I know I've been here too long. This is about the 5th or 6th chimp fighting thread I've seen over the years. The answer is "no f-ing way am I getting anywhere near a chimp." I wouldn't get into a cage with a chimp even if it wasn't a fight and I had lots and lots of bananas to feed him. |
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You would lose your junk and most of your face. This guy lost his balls and well this is what he looks like today. http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.391003!/img/httpImage/image.jpg That guy did it wrong. Before you go toe to toe with a chimp you gotta tuck your dick n' balls between your legs so your front parts look like a lady. Then why he's busy wasting time trying to find your manhood so he can relieve you of it you... well I haven't quite figured out the rest of this plan yet. |
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As soon as I heard the ref say "LETS GET IT ON!!" I would rip that chimps cack and balls right off... chimp style. I would be protecting my own package using the package-tucked -behind -crossed legs technique, a la Silence of the Lambs. If anyone has a qualified username for this thread subject, it is you. Good luch, Chewy. |
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I couldn't, but I bet Michelle Obama could. That wookie would tear his arm off. http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=I4615999516443524&pid=1.7&w=131&h=148&c=7&rs=1 +1 ...my moolah is on the Wookie ! |
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I have actually had the opportunity to play hands-on with a chimp. He was still very young and weighed only 20 lbs at the time. Having said that, he was s-t-r-o-n-g. At one point, he was biting my toes (his version of play) and I tried to pull him away. It took every bit of strength I had to pull him away. Full grown chimp? Forget it. You're gonna get your ass kicked. |
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Not without a reliable chainsaw and a full suit of armor that's held together with padlocks. I wonder if it could bite through a suit of armor. I remember a guy making a "bear proof suit" and testing it at a dump in AK where he let some bears attack him. |