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Posted: 6/1/2009 6:10:25 PM EST
So... just spent the entire afternoon at the hospital... have a swollen testie... been like this for a little while, and thought it was a hernia.

So the doc says it isnt a herina, but some tumor on my nut. Had an ultrasound done on it, and my right one was 3.5cm long, and my left one was 6.8cm long, and 3x the mass of the right one.

So, I have another appointment with a urlogist at 9 in the morning, but the doctor today says that my left nut is a goner, no saving it, and doesnt know if I am going to be able to keep the right one.

Was funny as shit tho... the ultrasound tech was a chick, early 40's, not bad on the eyes... shes scoping the big nut after she scanned the little one... I sing out loud "ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER"... got a laugh out of her. It was the only one. She was pretty somber, and wouldnt give me a prognosis.

I didnt need one. I could see it on the monitor. Dont need to be a doctor to put one and one together.

When the doctor told me that they might take them both, I said: "The first one is free, but the second one will cost you".

He laughed, and said: "how much?"

I didnt laugh, and said: "your life"

They can take the leftie... hes taking up too much real estate now, but they wont get the right one.

My sister, who is a nurse, said, upon me lamenting about losing them both...

"they have testosterone you can take".

I said "fuck that synthetic shit..."

She says "its not synthetic... its PLANT derivied"



I say to her "plants dont have balls, sis. if they did, you would see oak trees raging and killing all the pine trees".

She wasnt amused.

So, they are going to scan me every which way from sunday...

Oh, yea... and to add insult to injury, I lost my job a while back and have no medical insurance.

And Im going to undergo about $20,000 dollars of tests and scans tomorrow.

Fuck me. I dont want any of it.

If it has progressed past my sack, and spread to any other part of my body, I am going to say FUCK IT, and let nature run its course.

Anyone else been in a hole like this before?

I am not afraid to die.

I AM afraid to "live" with chemo and radiation therapy, synthetic "plant" hormones, hospitials and doctors...

hell, more people handled my junk today than in the last THIRTY YEARS.

But, at least I got to see the slapchop commercial today...

Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:12:02 PM EST
Damn dude, I wish the best for ya.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:14:52 PM EST
I knew a dude that had a nut removed at 21 years of age. In a matter of 3 days it went from normal sized to grapefruit sized. Doc said that if he waited one more day that he would have died from it spreading.

He got it replaced with a rubber ball. It was cool because he would bounce it off of tables and hit it with a hammer for beer money.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:16:47 PM EST
Good luck, hope it works out.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:17:36 PM EST
Good luck bro. Without getting into it, I somewhat know where you're coming from.

Do you plan on having any kiddos in the future? If so, see about freezing some (a lot) of that sperm so that you can still "procreate" later on. While I've never used the synthetic testosterone, I've heard it's not that bad. They actually just have a patch you can keep on for quite a while. But once you're on it, you have to stay on it the rest of your life.

Don't let yourself die for just $20,000. I bet you won't have to pay much of that anyhow. Life is precious man.

But whichever path you decide to take, good luck and we'll be there for you.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:18:11 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/1/2009 6:19:07 PM EST by analogphotographer]
I hope it all works out for you.This is why we are supposed to feel our selves up when showering on a regular basis.Good luck tomorrow,we are all pulling for righty.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:18:43 PM EST
Well - hope for the best man.

I had some lumps on my spermatic cord and the Dr took them out. The thing is - there was a chance one or both of my nuts would be missing when I came out of the surgery. I had no idea. He said if it was cancer - they might have to go after it. THAT sucked not knowng.

Turns out I got them both back. The tumors was part of a bigger issue that I was unaware of at the time. Neurofibromitosis.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:19:00 PM EST
Pragmatic advice.


If you do it UP FRONT you can get serious reductions in your bill/treatment costs.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:21:24 PM EST
Good luck to you, here's hoping it all turns out ok.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:22:54 PM EST
I will pray for you man. There have been some threads around here about synthetic testosterone in the past year.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:25:22 PM EST
good luck bro, dont give up
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:30:24 PM EST
I am sorry to hear, but you have to it taken care of.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:32:28 PM EST
I wish your right testicle luck....
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:35:34 PM EST
You are not going to like what I say, but the truth hurts sometimes. My FIL found out he had bladder cancer in Aug of 07, we buried him in July last year. He went through chemo, bladder removal surgery and radiation. They warned him onced it got outside of the bladder, there was little hope of recovery, and they were right.

On the other hand, my wife is a breast cancer survior, the chemo and radiation did the trick. So the treatments do help.

Your best bet and I can attest to this, is that you keep a great attitude, have your family and friends by your side and pray.

Good luck.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:38:36 PM EST
If you are unemployed, don't own a house and don't have a lot of savings your probably gonna get most of the bill written off
one way or another. Might put a ding in your credit rating but these days you will be in good company. Lots of people are
gonna have shit for credit before the current troubles are over.

I say worry first and foremost about getting treated quickly and as effectively as you can.....worry about $ later.
If you survive you can cross that bridge....if you end up terminal the $ is the last thing to worry about......in fact
either way it's the last thing to worry about.

Testicular CA is one that a lot of people have survived....if it was caught early and treated agressively.
Otherwise it's one with bad juju for an outcome.

Hang in there....the first and most important battle is against the cancer.....fight the other later if you have too.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:42:21 PM EST

Lost the left one and was able to keep the right one.

Keep your head up...I was in the same frame of mind EXACTLY.

Prayers out.

IM me with any questions/feedback/support.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:43:36 PM EST
Hey sorry about you issue, i had a lump on one of my nuts for awhile and after a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG time of waiting and thinking about it, wasnt sure if it was the fear of finding out something bad, or just the fear of having some Dr. fondle my nuts, I sucked it up and did have my Dr. check it out, i was sent for a battery of blood tests aswell as an ultrasound on my nuts. Well after about 3 days i was called in to the Urologists office, and he gave me some good news aswell as some bad news. Good news is it wasnt cancer, bad news is he said if i ever did something that stupid again it would probably cost me my life. So i'm basically saying to just MAN up and get this taken care of. worst case is you can get some brass nuts put in, so they can go Clanky Clank as you walk, and you might be bald for awhile.

Asfar as money issues, most or some Hospitals have some sort of assisstance programs that may knock some or all of the costs off"basically a tax deduction to them". My insurance covered some of the costs but my income to family ratio put me in the bracket for some assistance. I mean come on, everyone talks a tough game but do you really want to "DIE" for something like that. come on man, we will need you when the SHTF!!

But i call dibs on guns and ammo if you refuse treatment. j/k
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:46:12 PM EST
Originally Posted By gaspain:
I knew a dude that had a nut removed at 21 years of age. In a matter of 3 days it went from normal sized to grapefruit sized. Doc said that if he waited one more day that he would have died from it spreading.

He got it replaced with a rubber ball. It was cool because he would bounce it off of tables and hit it with a hammer for beer money.

Just out of curiosity: Before he did either of those did he start with: " 'SCUSE ME WHILE I WHIP THIS OUT!"
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:47:29 PM EST
Sorry to hear man, and good luck. I did laugh my ass off out loud when I read the part about you singing.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:47:49 PM EST
Do what needs to be done and worry about the money later. Life is way more precious than money. My prayers are with you.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 6:54:55 PM EST
Got a rubber band and a sharp hunting knife? (dont do that)

I'm sorry to hear that man
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 7:01:24 PM EST
Keep your head up. A negative attitude is worse than the disease.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 7:02:35 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/1/2009 7:02:59 PM EST by zwvirtual]
Back in Sep 06 I went and saw a general MD because my right nut was swollen (enough that I could not put my legs together) She sent me to a hospital for an ultrasound. There is nothing more embarrassing than getting your nuts ultrasounded...trust me. They saw something in there, sent the results to my MD who referred me to a urologist. Met him 2 days later, and he wanted to operate...the next day. Went in and found that my right nut was highly inflamed...no known cause. Had to have a course of antibiotics. For the next 6 weeks it felt like my nutsack was hitting the floor everytime I went to get up.

From what I read, Testicular cancer has a very high cure rate...one of the best. Get it taken care of early on and you should have no problems.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 7:04:01 PM EST
Yeah, as much as I hate to say it, worry about money later. The quicker you deal with it the better all the way around. Good luck! I'll pray for good news and a swift recovery.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 7:18:51 PM EST
Brother, I am really sorry about your condition.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 7:21:52 PM EST
Originally Posted By cpd670:
Keep your head up. A negative attitude is worse than the disease.


I have cancer, multiple myeloma, I know what it is like to be told you have cancer. I chose to accept my diagnosis and drive on forward, no pity party or reflecting on the past, just forward to fight. Show the cancer that you are not afraid and your going to whip its ass!!!!
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 7:29:16 PM EST
Fight that bitch like a Democrat at your door demanding your guns brother. Unemployed with some debt is better than dead.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 7:30:01 PM EST
When you are first diagnosed with Cancer, there is an enormous amount of uncertainty. As you progress through the process, you will learn and understand more about what you have, the effects, and likely outcomes. While it may seem like the end of everything, it is that uncertainty which is causing you the most distress at the moment. Things will become clearer, and that will guide you. Good luck my friend.

Link Posted: 6/1/2009 8:44:43 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/1/2009 8:49:13 PM EST by hifi_samauri]
Thanks a ton for all of your support... means the world, and I dont even know you guys personally.

The doctor said he thinks it is a non-aggro tumor, because, given the time frame, had it been full blown nutcancer, I would have been a goner by now. So, I said... "its 'benign', then?"... he said "benign is not the word I would use", and said "non-aggressive" again.

So, it is still up in the air, but I am ready to lose lefty. I am going to look into the pseudo-testosterone deal... need to know if keeping righty is worth blading at 45 over. I am real touchy over pharmacutals (sp) and synthetic shit... and would like to not be chained to a patch that costs ?$?$?$... some obscene amount of cash for the rest of my life. Going to be worse than a crack-whore looking for a fix.

Anyways, I will give y'all an update when I know more tomorrow.

Again, thanks for the support and advice. Like all the other trying times I have endured in my life, I will keep my head up, shoulders back, and pedal to the floor.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 9:19:45 PM EST
Originally Posted By scragman:
Good luck to you, here's hoping it all turns out ok.

Link Posted: 6/1/2009 9:30:48 PM EST
One of the most easily treatable cancers there is, with practically zero long term effects.

They'll give you kind of a "ping pong ball" for cosmetic "symmetry" purposes.

As I imagine your doctor has already told you, this disease is most common in young men and the incidence declines sharply after age 30 - no one knows why that is, but it is sometimes called "the young man's cancer."

It's our version (as men) of ovarian cysts or ovarian cancer.

We're here for you. Good luck.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 9:40:51 PM EST
Dude, I'm sorry.

you have a great attitude about the situation but KEEP IT UP!

Even if things get really bad your joking/upbeat attitude could be make or break shit.

My friend recently went to the hospital and incurred $8,000 worth of bills and only had to pay $1,100 cause he was HONEST with them.

And people say we don't already have socialized medicine.
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 9:46:07 PM EST

Pardon me, but I believe the Oaks are oppressors of the maples, not pines.

Good luck and think hard about your options. Think loong and hard
Link Posted: 6/1/2009 10:07:05 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/1/2009 10:10:35 PM EST by futurerancher]
I just went through this with my dad. He got the nut cancer in his mid fifties. I think you have the right attitude about this. My evil sister in laws told him they were excited because he could now go shopping with them and help decorate for parties and what not. He ended up only losing one nut but was prepared to lose both. He wanted to see his grand kids grow up and grow old with his wife more than losing his ability to instigate bar fights. He did not come to this conclusion easy and it took several months for him to be more comfortable with it. It was probably easier for him as his kids were all grown, he is retired and was already heading down the path of bird feeders and motorhomes. So it wasn't a hug leap I guess. I did learn something from all of it though. Once he confided in me he was going to let them take the other nut it dawned on me that he loved us more than himself as my old man is a mans man kind of guy. I hate to get all sloppy but it was an emmotional time for us all.

If the Docs tell you that you stand an excellent chance of survival by going nutless, man just stop and take a few days to seriously think about it. It sucks that you are in this position and there isn't a sole on earth that would trade places with you right now. I am sure it is an awful place to be and I will pray for you. Nut cancer has about the highest cure and success rate of all cancers. Keep a positive attitude and give er' hell bro.
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 1:37:09 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 1:52:41 AM EST
Don't fear the treatment or the finances. Get your head in the right place to fight. Once you get on the other side of it, you'll see more clearly.

There are a ton of resources / advocacy available.
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 2:26:11 AM EST
16 year survivor, 3rd stage metastasis. Had spread to both lungs.


get a referral to Dr. Lawrence Einhorn, Indiana University Medical ctr, Indianapolis, if you can. He is a mutual friend
of Lance Armstrong & myself. Google him, you'll see why.
One day this will all seem like a bad dream, trust me.
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 3:26:05 AM EST
17 year, late stage B-2 survivor here.

As one of my doctors told me shortly after diagnosis, "If you could choose a cancer, this is one of the better ones."

After several surgeries, (It had spread through the lymph system, I had additional tumors forming by my liver. ) and rounds of chemo, it was gone.

The hardest part of the whole thing, at least it seemed that way at the time, was telling my wife of 2 whole months that I had cancer. I was in Hawaii, she was in Virginia. That was a tough phone call, even harder than the one to my parents.

They took my left nut, and I didn't bother with getting the implant. I have a little more room in the underwear now.

Nearing the end of chemo, there were days I really didn't want to continue. You'll feel like shit, be dreading getting stuck with even more needles, and not wanting that crap being put in your body anymore. Just keep going, you'll be glad you did later. Honestly.

+1 to discussing the finances with the hospital now. There may well be much of the bill reduced by getting a head start on the problem. But, money can come later. The most important thing is to let yourself get treated.
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 3:31:54 AM EST
Sorry to hear, though I do applaud you on the way you are handling it. I sure and the hell aint no doctor but I can't say I've ever heard of taking them both. I thought I had a problem also over a year ago during which I read quite a few cases on the internet. I finally had an ultra-sound which showed everything normal. Wish you the best of luck in that it hasn't spread anywhere else.
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 3:37:53 AM EST
I lost one while in college. Am fine now with a wife and four kids.

Your life is more important than one or both of them.
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 3:39:55 AM EST
Just remember, those guys and gals are working to safe your life, and they are worth every penny. Keep you chin up. Be a fighter.
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 3:41:55 AM EST
BTW, my urologist told me during my last office visit that they can now remove a tumor from a testicle without removing the entire testicle, and that they may prefer to do this when its your last one.

Discuss with doc.
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 5:32:23 AM EST
10 year stage 1 paratesticular rhabdomyosarcoma. Not quite the same as it was in the muscle tissue next to the leftie, but end result was the same.

It takes some time but as said before, awhile later it does seem like a really bad dream.

Best of luck!
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 5:43:08 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/2/2009 5:46:19 AM EST by AlmostAmos]
Originally Posted By gaspain:
...He got it replaced with a rubber ball. It was cool because he would bounce it off of tables and hit it with a hammer for beer money.

WTF? Are you fucking kidding? That is hilarious!
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 5:43:36 AM EST
I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope you will make it through this. Just fight it man.
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 9:59:48 AM EST
So, back from the Urologist...

He said it is a non-specific sarcoma of the left testicle (non-specific until the biopsy). Surgery is scheduled for Thursday 04JUN09 @ 6:30 in the morning.

More blood work and labs tomorrow morning, and have to get some special soap I have to wash with the night before and morning of the surgery. Also have to fast the night before the surgery.

Urologist said leftie is a goner, but I get to keep righty... and apparently, the other testicle will increase its production of testosterone to keep my levels where they are currently.

I have to get a CT scan and chest x-rays to see if it has spread to my lungs and lymphnoids in my chest area, and possibly a PET scan because of my headaches I have been having.

So, I probably won't opt for the prosthetic nut, just roll solo... brother said he is going to start calling me 'Ace'.

So, here is to hoping that there has not been any spread to other parts of my body.

And thanks again to everyone for the prayers and good thoughts.
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 10:07:28 AM EST
Sorry to hear about your troubles, but sounds like you've got a decent prognosis. Hang in there, man! Good luck!
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 10:08:40 AM EST
Good luck to you. I grew an extra a few years ago (my wife was doing something one day and suddenly asked 'Why do you have three? I never noticed that before" I was like "

It was weird getting hacked up and stuff removed and waiting for the results....

At the end of the day it was just a benighn tumor of somekind. Just watch how they tape you after the surgery. For me they shaved the sack, but taped straight up my but crack. I will never forget how that felt when my wife essentially 'waxed' my asshole removing the medical tape. Most pain I have ever felt, and yes, that brought a tear to my eye.

BTW, get used to not a lot of them having much humor.....


Link Posted: 6/2/2009 10:11:58 AM EST
If you want to save money I will take out lefty with a rusty swiss army knife for $10k

Link Posted: 6/2/2009 10:18:51 AM EST
Good luck, BRO!
Link Posted: 6/2/2009 10:25:21 AM EST
That's awful... I pray you get better without the expensive bills.
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