...a-sitting on the frontporch, with a beer and a book, when I hear this car engine open up about a block away. I look up, and there's this white Chevy Caprice barrelling down this residential street, doing about 55-60 as he passed me, barely slowing down as he blows through the intersection, onto the parking lot at the end of the street, still not slowing down, still doing 50, no brake lights, and he slams dead center into the brickbuilding sending the $1,200, 100lbs bronze historical marker flying. I already had the cellphone in my hand anyway, so I figured I might as well call the cops, told them what happened so far, and where etc.
As I was walking towards the scene to render aid, the driver's door flies open, out jumps this big black male and wanders away. I'm still on the phone with dispatch, advice them of the driver leaving, gave them a description and the direction and speed he took, and, I was really impressed with this, 90 seconds into the call, the first two cruisers show up. Incredible. The passenger, a large black female, wandered off, too, so I pointed one cruiser towards her, and sent the other one after the driver.
More cruisers showed up, 5 or 6 or so in total, so they caught the driver pretty quick, showed him to me, "Yup, that's him alright." Had a look at the brick building then: brick wall shoved in, stucko struck off by the flying bronze sign, cast iron gates bent; I guess they'll have to jack up the roof and rebuild the brick wall.
I'm pretty pissed. Here we are trying to revive the block, since it's the part of town with the nicest historical buildings, so we're working with the city, the two museums, the historical society, the newspaper, and all and sundry, we just got the "Looking Good Award", and are nominated for "Historical Home with the Best Exterior Painting", running in the "Hometown Best" contest, just today I was mowing the lawns and park belts on three properties in the neighborhood, we're picking up every piece of garbage left and tossed on the street by them as to prevent the stylish ghetto look to encroach on this neighborhood...it's no use, as soon as they move in, "there goes the neighborhood". You see, the passenger lives in the duplex next door, and the driver was her boyfriend.
Time to talk to the landlord.

I remember the time that I was in a outer suburb of Detroit (northville for the locals) and a black male put a uhaul truck into a  ditch and then walked over to me at a gas station 100 yards and asked for a ride back to detroit. I said no and called the police.

The ever so bright woman at 911 didn't know why I was calling them.

Woh, that's nuts.  I haven't seen anything crazy like that happen, I don't know if that's a curse or a blessing, though.

Oh no, not...
...!

Got a pic of the undamaged building:

I sure hope you helped those poor disadvantaged youth!

Sgtar15

He pulled a Billy Joel, huh?

stop picking on the underserved yutes.

Before pics??? what the hell are we going to do with BEFORE pics... AFTER BABY!!! AFTER!!!

those are the ones we will judge!

Quoted: He pulled a Billy Joel, huh?

Yep.  I'm going to need to see the "after" pics.
Oh, and I don't believe that you were reading a book either.

Cleaning your ears with your car keys?  Sure.  Reading a book.  Nope.  Who ya tryin' to impress?

OK, off to take a few pics then. And yes, I was reading a book, Aztec Blood by whatshisname...Gary Jennings. Cover me, I'm going in! (Like hell I'll be traipsing around half a dozen cops milling around taking pictures. Now however is a better time.)

Quoted: ... The ever so bright woman at 911 didn't know why I was calling them.

Maybe it was the same call-taker that didn't believe the Diaz's story.

By any chance is your street named after The right and true Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King ??
Maybe "Da Man" was keeping his foot down on the gas pedal.

OK, I'm back :) And no, this is N Washington Avenue. MLK Blvd is three blocks over


The scene of the crime.


The South-East corner.


The window.


If it wouldn't have been for the iron gate, that wall would have given away, all the way.


Dumbass had airbags in his late-model Caprice. Moves the brickwall, but both literally walked away.


Inside of the building, other side of the wall.


Look Ma! No brakes! (that's tire tracks in light gravel, not skid marks)

Seems Tyrone and Shanaqua had an argument and he wanted to show her dat he da man. Well, he da dumbass, if he would have axed me, but nobody ever asks me, and if they do, they run away screaming.

I was asking for photo proof that you were reading a book.

Quoted: I was asking for photo proof that you were reading a book.

How could you tell if he was actually reading instead of just looking at the pictures?

<edited to add>  At least the goobers hit a solid building rather than running over a person.  One of the punk rich kids I went to highschool with ended up putting his car thru the bedroom of a little old lady when he & his jerkoff buddies were running from the cops.  Killed her deader than hell.

Quoted: I was asking for photo proof that you were reading a book.

LOL, as unlikely and unbelievable as it seems, I don't have a team of paparazzi following my every move. Not since I broke up with the baroness.

Quoted: I was asking for photo proof that you were reading a book.

BWAAA-HAAAA-HAAAA!!!!

Post of the week!!!

Quoted: Quoted: I was asking for photo proof that you were reading a book. How could you tell if he was actually reading instead of just looking at the pictures?

You look for telltale evidence of crayons.

Quoted: www.monstermania.net/them.jpg...!

One of my favorite movies.  Got it on DVD and on DVR.

Quoted: Quoted: I was asking for photo proof that you were reading a book. LOL, as unlikely and unbelievable as it seems, I don't have a team of paparazzi following my every move. Not since I broke up with the baroness.

must have been reading Mein Kampf.





LOL J/K

Have you considered that these are Al-queda newbies and were just practicing flying into buildings.

Probably couldn't afford a jet, so were just practicing with their car.

Be vigilant.  Drink more beer.  Put the book down.

Quoted: Have you considered that these are Al-queda newbies and were just practicing flying into buildings.

LOL, good one.
Here's the news article: tiny red letters

And you my friend get no credit in the apprehension, no mention in the news, you don't exist....the girlfriend gets all the credit for breaking that case and forkin her boyfriend over.  Ah, society.

Quoted: And you my friend get no credit in the apprehension, no mention in the news, you don't exist...

That's OK, I'll remain hidden...lurking in the shadows...observing...avenging...for I am...Der Schnitzler!

Too bad it wasn't an older car.

Quoted: He pulled a Billy Joel, huh?

Riding in a FRENCH Citroen 2CV???



Them dang things is coffins a la mode. With all of his money, he can't afford a better car? Not only stupid, but with a death wish.

This from a man who slept around on Christie Brinkley......really stooopid..


"Only the Good Die Young", indeed

Quoted: Quoted: Have you considered that these are Al-queda newbies and were just practicing flying into buildings. LOL, good one. Here's the news article: tiny red letters

Cedric Demetrus Jones? Is that a real name? What kind of mother names her kid Cedric Demetrus? Whaddya wanna bet she never read Caesar's Gallic Commentaries?......