Posted: 1/12/2011 4:19:35 PM EDT
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OK, so it snowed most of the day yesterday and I was going to plow the driveway this morning, but I got up late, it was cold and I figured whatever, I will do it later when I get home. Driveway is ~500 feet of gravel and 75' of concrete near the house. All of our vehicles are 4 wheel drive so often I don't even do the gravel b/c picking gravel up out of the yard is a pain in the rump and replacing lawnmower blades on finish mower is a pain as well and cost money.
So I leave work early and figure I will at least get the concrete done and take the top 2" or so off of the gravel. When I am almost home my wife calls and tells me to call the neighbor. "Why?" I ask. She tells me she heard the dogs going crazy and looked out and he was doing our driveway, totally unsolicited. Now I have mixed emotions. I am grateful at the nice jester, but I still had to go out and finish it myself (obviously he only did a path up the middle, b/c he doesn't know where the edges are....and I appreciate this...see comment about gravel above). I really like doing it myself, and I have a certain way I like it done. I think sending an e-mail and saying thanks is good enough. She thinks it deserves a personal call, but I am afraid I will sound somewhat ungrateful (and maybe I am a little) but I don't want to come off as as being ungrateful or an arrogant prick since they did do something nice for me and expect nothing for it (oh yeah....and I am a healthy 40'sh person, not a semi-invalid 80ish person). So what do ya'll feel is the proper protocol? |
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Go shake his hand and say thanks.
Do as the person above suggests and put. Chain across the drive or make rue you get to it before he has a chance next time. I would in no way let him know your displeased. ...some day you may really need him for something and he might not be so willing if he thinks you're ungrateful and then only come to him for help when you need something. |
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I understand where your coming from, but I'd say thank you and let it go. One of my neighbor's parents will occasionally do that for me, also throwing gravel in my yard. I'd rather rake up some gravel in the spring than spend longer plowing with my little tractor. |
| Is the general arfcom population this fucking retarded? Why is it so difficult to talk to people...especially your neighbor? Put a chain up? WTF. Sack up and walk your lazy ass next door and talk to the man. If you don't want him to clear your shit then tell him. Very simple. |
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Wait, why on earth would you put up a chain? Theres a special way you like it??
Dude, its fucking SNOW. Unless you're entering your snowplowing abilities into some national competition just be happy you have a clear path to drive up to the house. Jesus. OCD, they make a pill for that. |
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Wait, why on earth would you put up a chain? Theres a special way you like it?? Dude, its fucking SNOW. Unless you're entering your snowplowing abilities into some national competition just be happy you have a clear path to drive up to the house. Jesus. OCD, they make a pill for that. +1 (A bit harsh, but it kind puts my general perspective on the situation.) Consider yourself lucky to have a good neighbor. A few pebbles in your lawn come Spring is a small price to pay for that. Get up early and beat him to the punch next time, to pay him back. It will probably tick him off to no end! 
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Quoted: Wait, why on earth would you put up a chain? Theres a special way you like it?? Dude, its fucking SNOW. Unless you're entering your snowplowing abilities into some national competition just be happy you have a clear path to drive up to the house. Jesus. OCD, they make a pill for that. +1 |
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Wait, why on earth would you put up a chain? Theres a special way you like it?? Because in total I have over a million pounds of gravel that I have put down (there is more driveway that goes past the house to the barn) and I like it done in such a way to minimize the piles of gravel that are left in places other than driveway when it melts. Oh yeah, and one of my jeeps has a cool hole in it where a driveway rock that was in the yard got launched from the mower about 110' and right through the sheet metal on the jeep. Plus I have two teenagers that seem to "forget" where the driveway is when there is snow, so I plow to the insde of the two turns, and when they tak ethem wide they don't leave the actual stone area and push the rocks into the newly made ruts they make in the yard. If you plow to the edge, then they will always turn wide and and push rocks out and then I have an area of 50% dirt and 50% gravfel between the grapes and the driveway. |
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Is the general arfcom population this fucking retarded? Why is it so difficult to talk to people...especially your neighbor? Put a chain up? WTF. Sack up and walk your lazy ass next door and talk to the man. If you don't want him to clear your shit then tell him. Very simple. Talking is easy...probably talk to him 5 times a week. I just would rather e-mail, because I am afraid by talking I won't sound truly sincere b/c I am grateful, but not thrilled enough for my thanks not to come off sounding half hearted, nonetheless, I will talk to him.... Dan |
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Wait, why on earth would you put up a chain? Theres a special way you like it?? Because in total I have over a million pounds of gravel that I have put down (there is more driveway that goes past the house to the barn) and I like it done in such a way to minimize the piles of gravel that are left in places other than driveway when it melts. Oh yeah, and one of my jeeps has a cool hole in it where a driveway rock that was in the yard got launched from the mower about 110' and right through the sheet metal on the jeep. Plus I have two teenagers that seem to "forget" where the driveway is when there is snow, so I plow to the insde of the two turns, and when they tak ethem wide they don't leave the actual stone area and push the rocks into the newly made ruts they make in the yard. If you plow to the edge, then they will always turn wide and and push rocks out and then I have an area of 50% dirt and 50% gravfel between the grapes and the driveway. Sounds to me like you dont have a neighbor problem, you have a kid problem. I'd start with a big boot in the ass of the kids and finish off with beer at the neighbors tomorrow and then coast through Friday and enjoy the weekend without having to shovel snow! |
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Wait, why on earth would you put up a chain? Theres a special way you like it?? Dude, its fucking SNOW. Unless you're entering your snowplowing abilities into some national competition just be happy you have a clear path to drive up to the house. Jesus. OCD, they make a pill for that. +1 (A bit harsh, but it kind puts my general perspective on the situation.) Consider yourself lucky to have a good neighbor. A few pebbles in your lawn come Spring is a small price to pay for that. Get up early and beat him to the punch next time, to pay him back. It will probably tick him off to no end! ALET! ALET! That part in red? Do NOT do that shit! If your neighbor performs an act of kindness, do NOT start escalating the situation with another act of kindness! Why? Because this can ignite a FULL, ALL OUT WAR of escalating "retaliatory kindness!" HE will then have to do ANOTHER act of kindness to show he is NICER than you. YOU will then have to do ANOTHER act of kindness, to show you are equally as nice if not nicer than HIM. IT WILL NEVER END! Pretty soon you will be cursing yourself under your breath as you are mowing each other's lawns two and three times each week in summer, painting each other's houses, etc etc. 
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Quoted: Wait, why are you cleaning the driveway and picking up the rocks in the spring?Quoted: Wait, why on earth would you put up a chain? Theres a special way you like it?? Because in total I have over a million pounds of gravel that I have put down (there is more driveway that goes past the house to the barn) and I like it done in such a way to minimize the piles of gravel that are left in places other than driveway when it melts. Oh yeah, and one of my jeeps has a cool hole in it where a driveway rock that was in the yard got launched from the mower about 110' and right through the sheet metal on the jeep. Plus I have two teenagers that seem to "forget" where the driveway is when there is snow, so I plow to the insde of the two turns, and when they tak ethem wide they don't leave the actual stone area and push the rocks into the newly made ruts they make in the yard. If you plow to the edge, then they will always turn wide and and push rocks out and then I have an area of 50% dirt and 50% gravfel between the grapes and the driveway. |
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Is the general arfcom population this fucking retarded? Why is it so difficult to talk to people...especially your neighbor? Put a chain up? WTF. Sack up and walk your lazy ass next door and talk to the man. If you don't want him to clear your shit then tell him. Very simple. Talking is easy...probably talk to him 5 times a week. I just would rather e-mail, because I am afraid by talking I won't sound truly sincere b/c I am grateful, but not thrilled enough for my thanks not to come off sounding half hearted, nonetheless, I will talk to him.... Dan and all of THAT horseshit is predicated on your not just speaking plainly to him. Tell him 'thankyou, I appreciate what you did. But I have a particular way I prefer to do things, to keep the gravel out of the lawn. I'll take care of it myself in the future.' Just wtf is so hard about telling him that? It's called communication and boundaries. Establish both. |
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Wait, why are you cleaning the driveway and picking up the rocks in the spring?
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Wait, why on earth would you put up a chain? Theres a special way you like it?? Because in total I have over a million pounds of gravel that I have put down (there is more driveway that goes past the house to the barn) and I like it done in such a way to minimize the piles of gravel that are left in places other than driveway when it melts. Oh yeah, and one of my jeeps has a cool hole in it where a driveway rock that was in the yard got launched from the mower about 110' and right through the sheet metal on the jeep. Plus I have two teenagers that seem to "forget" where the driveway is when there is snow, so I plow to the insde of the two turns, and when they tak ethem wide they don't leave the actual stone area and push the rocks into the newly made ruts they make in the yard. If you plow to the edge, then they will always turn wide and and push rocks out and then I have an area of 50% dirt and 50% gravfel between the grapes and the driveway. Because If I pulled them off of shit shoveling duty to rake rocks, then I would be shoveling shit..... |
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Is the general arfcom population this fucking retarded? Why is it so difficult to talk to people...especially your neighbor? Put a chain up? WTF. Sack up and walk your lazy ass next door and talk to the man. If you don't want him to clear your shit then tell him. Very simple. Talking is easy...probably talk to him 5 times a week. I just would rather e-mail, because I am afraid by talking I won't sound truly sincere b/c I am grateful, but not thrilled enough for my thanks not to come off sounding half hearted, nonetheless, I will talk to him.... Dan I know what you're saying and I'd feel the same as you, but some people take emails differently. Maybe even most people. It can come off as cold, informal, and impersonal. That aint the direction I think you need to go with this. |
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I used to rent a house many many years ago. I had a grouchy old neighbor that would call the police and complain about me when I would play music, have a party, shoot off fireworks on the Fourth, my dog barking, etc. I would go over and shovel his sidewalk every time it would snow just because I knew it got under his skin that I was being nice even though he was such an ass. He would glare at me through the window and he would send his wife out to thank me. Crabby old bastard is probably dead now, I should go plant flowers on his grave! To the OP, call him and thank him for the kind gesture. |
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Is the general arfcom population this fucking retarded? Why is it so difficult to talk to people...especially your neighbor? Put a chain up? WTF. Sack up and walk your lazy ass next door and talk to the man. If you don't want him to clear your shit then tell him. Very simple. Talking is easy...probably talk to him 5 times a week. I just would rather e-mail, because I am afraid by talking I won't sound truly sincere b/c I am grateful, but not thrilled enough for my thanks not to come off sounding half hearted, nonetheless, I will talk to him.... Dan and all of THAT horseshit is predicated on your not just speaking plainly to him. Tell him 'thankyou, I appreciate what you did. But I have a particular way I prefer to do things, to keep the gravel out of the lawn. I'll take care of it myself in the future.' Just wtf is so hard about telling him that? It's called communication and boundaries. Establish both. Because what you suggest saying is rude. It doesn't matter if you intend it to be or not, it is. My Korean neighbor's elderly father sometimes cuts my side yard, he did it too short one time and it contributed to a large section of grass dying. No worries, I knew it was trying to be nice so I didn't say anything........ When they re-sodded their yard, they re-sodded a large section of mine (that was dead) as well....... Having a good relationship with your neighbors is worth more than gravel in the yard. |