Stop me if you've heard it. It's at least PG-13, maybe R. Caveat Emptor.
So this guy walks into this bar. He sees a $1000 bill over the bar.
"What's that for?" he inquires.
Bartender replies: it's for the toughest man in the world".
"Who's that?" asks the guy.
Bartender replies: "See that large man at the end of the bar? That's Evander Holyfield. The toughest man has to fight him and win. See that screen door behind him? That leads to the alleyway that contains the meanest dog in the world: a pitbull with a tooth abscess. The toughest man has to pull that tooth out and wear it as a necklace. Finally, see that old, nasty woman in the corner of the bar? That's a 70 year old whore; she's had had sex with hundreds of thousands of men. You have to make her beg you to stop during sex. That's who the $1000 is for."
Oh, says the guy. He has some beers, a few more beers, and finally works up his courage.
"I'm the toughest man in the world", he bellows, walks to the end of the bar, and lays out Holyfield in one punch. He then exits through the screen door. Soon there is heard growling, barking, crashing of trash cans, screaming from the guy, crunching of bone, and finally, whimpering and yelping.
The guy, scratched, clothes torn, bleeding and bruised, comes back into the bar through the screen door, and says, "all right, where's the whore with the abscessed tooth?!!!!"