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Posted: 9/5/2022 2:09:27 AM EDT
[#1]
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Posted: 9/18/2022 8:35:49 PM EDT
[#2]
Chuck Norris NEVER has a case of The Mondays
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Posted: 9/18/2022 8:39:03 PM EDT
[#3]
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove his Mother home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Chuck Norris mines bitcoin with a pickaxe. Chuck Norris’ trash throws itself out. When a building is on fire and Chuck Norris walks in, the Chuck Norris alarm rings. Chuck Norris used to wash his clothes in the ocean, but it caused too many tsunamis. A condom needs protection to avoid becoming impregnated by Chuck Norris on date night. Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting because the “hunting” implies that you might not succeed. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard. |
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Posted: 9/18/2022 8:47:59 PM EDT
[#4]
Chuck Norris once went to a feminist rally. He left with a sandwich, and an ironed shirt.
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Posted: 9/18/2022 9:05:42 PM EDT
[#5]
Most people do push-ups.
Chuck Norris bench presses the earth. |
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Posted: 9/18/2022 9:10:43 PM EDT
[#6]
If Chuck Norris were on the periodic table, he'd be "KA" for Kick Ass.
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Posted: 10/2/2022 2:26:25 PM EDT
[#7]
This is how Chuck shuts off chainsaws.
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Posted: 10/2/2022 8:56:52 PM EDT
[#8]
As a favor to a Friend, Chuck Norris drove the green VW beetles during The Chase sequence in Bullitt
He was also in the two cable cars that first went Right to Left, then Left to Right. |
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Posted: 10/2/2022 9:26:46 PM EDT
[#9]
Babies cry because they know they were born into a world with Chuck Norris.
Fact. |
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Posted: 10/3/2022 8:47:57 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If Chuck Norris were on the periodic table, he'd be "KA" for Kick Ass. The chemical formula for cyanide is CN. These are also the initials for Chuck Norris. This is not a coincidence. |
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Posted: 10/8/2022 6:19:27 PM EDT
[#11]
Chuck Norris strongly suspected in damaging the Crimean Bridge.
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Posted: 10/8/2022 6:29:53 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Chuck Norris strongly suspected in damaging the Crimean Bridge. False. If Chuck Norris had roundhoused the bridge, it would now be the Crimean Archipelago. |
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Posted: 10/9/2022 12:48:46 AM EDT
[#13]
Chuck Norris... is not actually human.
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Posted: 10/16/2022 7:30:54 PM EDT
[#14]
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Posted: 10/29/2022 11:35:35 PM EDT
[#15]
Chuck Norris can fire a .45 ACP round in a firearm designed and built for 9x19 ammunition safely and accurately every time.
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Posted: 10/30/2022 1:36:49 AM EDT
[#16]
Chuck Norris thought he was a man trapped in a woman's body. Then he punched his way out of his mother.
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Posted: 10/30/2022 2:36:42 AM EDT
[#17]
Chuck Norris is a lawful good human ranger with +3 resistance against teleportation and magic missile spells.
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Posted: 10/30/2022 12:52:54 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Chuck Norris is a lawful good human ranger with +3 resistance against teleportation and magic missile spells.  +5 |
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Posted: 10/30/2022 12:55:59 PM EDT
[#19]
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Posted: 11/16/2022 7:14:59 PM EDT
[#20]
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Posted: 11/24/2022 12:59:50 PM EDT
[#21]
Somebody once sent Ser Chuck a tofu-Turkey to Him.
When it crossed the Threshold it became a Genuine, All Meat Meleagris Gallopavo ready to be cooked. |
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Posted: 12/4/2022 1:24:27 PM EDT
[#22]
Chuck Norris can melt paper and pour the molten paper into molds...
(Don't ask me where I came up with molten paper; I was at work at the time) |
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Posted: 12/11/2022 9:27:17 PM EDT
[#23]
Ser Chuckster can breathe the air from Pandora without assistance.
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Posted: 12/12/2022 5:51:53 AM EDT
[#24]
GiggleSmith, I appreciate you keeping this thread alive.
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Posted: 12/12/2022 9:09:18 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: GiggleSmith, I appreciate you keeping this thread alive. https://winkgo.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/chuck-norris-memes-50.jpg  |
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Posted: 12/12/2022 9:31:03 AM EDT
[#26]
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pees.
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Posted: 12/27/2022 12:37:14 PM EDT
[#27]
Chuck Norris escorted Santa and his sleigh when it passed over the Ukraine airspace.
He also made sure EVERY ADA site got The Word about Santa's trip. |
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Posted: 12/30/2022 6:31:48 PM EDT
[#28]
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Posted: 1/1/2023 2:40:27 PM EDT
[#29]
Would you ask Sir Chuckerster to kick you to Last Month so you could celebrate The Same New Year's Day twice?
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Posted: 1/8/2023 12:15:09 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Would you ask Sir Chuckerster to kick you to Last Month so you could celebrate The Same New Year's Day twice?  And no freeloading:  |
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Posted: 1/26/2023 2:35:33 PM EDT
[#31]
Ser Chuckster declined hosting the Oscars once again.
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Posted: 1/30/2023 10:04:15 PM EDT
[#32]
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Posted: 1/30/2023 10:05:28 PM EDT
[#33]
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Posted: 1/30/2023 11:03:18 PM EDT
[#34]
Chuck Norris doesn't rise when the sun comes up, the sun comes up when Chuck Norris rises.
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Posted: 2/4/2023 8:56:58 PM EDT
[#35]
Chuck Norris shot down that Chinese Spy Balloon with his trusty slingshot.
Prove to me that he didn't. |
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Posted: 2/4/2023 10:24:53 PM EDT
[#36]
Seen elsewhere on the site,"Chuck Norris was in all the "Star Wars" movies, he was 'The Force'!
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Posted: 2/4/2023 11:25:38 PM EDT
[#37]
Chuck Norris doesnt sleep. He waits
One day Chuck Norris saved a deer that was going to get hit crossing the road. Then he snapped its neck Chuck can giveth but also take away |
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Posted: 2/5/2023 6:19:24 AM EDT
[#38]
This thread is no more only when Chuck Norris says this thread is no more.
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Posted: 2/5/2023 5:21:52 PM EDT
[#39]
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it’s beef.
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Posted: 2/5/2023 6:44:08 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This thread is no more only when Chuck Norris says this thread is no more.  This is the way, the truth, and the light.  No freeloading.  |
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Posted: 2/24/2023 7:55:17 AM EDT
[#41]
Chuck Norris can aqua-bump a nuclear submarine
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Posted: 3/10/2023 12:08:18 PM EDT
[#42]
The Chuckster can turn nearly any water balloon into Low Grade H-Bomb.
He just doesn't want to make Big, Megatonnage H-Bombs |
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Posted: 3/10/2023 4:05:01 PM EDT
[#43]
Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with the sun.
The sun blinked. |
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Posted: 3/10/2023 5:07:44 PM EDT
[#44]
Chuck Norris finally admitted to using stunt doubles in his movies, but only for the crying scenes.
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Posted: 3/10/2023 5:19:40 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Chuck Norris finally admitted to using stunt doubles in his movies, but only for the crying scenes.  OK; ya got me on that one. No freeloading: Sr. Chuckster onct needed a way to carry extra water in the desert. So he compressed a handful of sand and made a glass bottle.
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Posted: 3/23/2023 11:50:00 PM EDT
[#46]
You know why there are 8 billion people on planet earth?
Chuck Norris allows us to live here. |
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Posted: 3/26/2023 1:06:40 PM EDT
[#47]
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Posted: 3/26/2023 1:12:25 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote History
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Posted: 3/26/2023 4:13:08 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You know why there are 8 billion people on planet earth? Chuck Norris is the father of nearly a quarter of them. |
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Posted: 3/26/2023 5:21:51 PM EDT
[#50]
Chuck Norris died 10 years ago. The grim reaper is too afraid to tell him.
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