www.thedailyfarce.com/legal.cfm?story=2004%5C09%5Clegal_marthatattoosinmatenumberonshoulder_09200400026

Martha Stewart, after receiving her Federal Inmate Number, was driven by her chauffeur to the nearest Tattoo parlor in Hollywood, California to have number 55170-054 tattooed on her right shoulder.

Martha Stewart lawyers are asking the court to assign her to a minimum-security prison to serve her time, however, Martha has argued against that.

"I'm a real tough women." Stated Martha Stewart, "How do you think I got to where I am today? That is why I tattooed my right shoulder with my new inmate number. Send me to the maximum-security prison. I want to come back 100 times meaner then when I left! I want to kick my board's ass when I get out in five months. I don't care! Bring it on! I plan on working out night and day!"

"I've tattooed some mean son of bitches." Stated the tattoo parlor owner that tattooed Martha Stewart's inmate number on her, "But I have to tell you she is the toughest meanest person I've met. I had 3 people waiting in front of her. One of them was 6 feet 400 pounds. She walked in and told the biggest guy to 'get the fuck out of my way you pig bastard.' Then she slapped him on his face. The guy actually was afraid of her. Hell, I was afraid of her. She did tip well though."

"We wish Martha the best of luck in prison." Stated one of the board members of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, "But I have to tell you the truth. I think I will end up quitting in five months when she is back. I'm already afraid of her. I can't imagine the kind of bitch she will be when she comes back from prison."

Shares of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia fell 2000% to a low .00000001 per share.

This is total

Mike

PS - seek medical attention immediately!

Quoted: This is total Mike PS - seek medical attention immediately!

Pot... Kettle... Black...

Ahhh the daily farce...journalism at it's best ..right up there with the Washington Post.

Come on you can do better

Quoted: http://www.the daily farce ....com

I think this says it all.

 excellent

Quoted: Quoted: This is total Mike PS - seek medical attention immediately! You didn't notice the URL?

Unlike most folks I TRY to read and yep it was what prompted my post......

Mike

Quoted: Quoted: This is total Mike PS - seek medical attention immediately! Pot... Kettle... Black...

Show me a post where I "authored" a BS topic like this numb-nut!

Mike

and Martha will trade her bitch for a pack of potpurri.

Quoted: Show me a post where I "authored" a BS topic like this numb-nut! Mike

I'm a "numb nuts" now?


Damn.....they don't feel differant.

SGatr15

Quoted: Quoted: Show me a post where I "authored" a BS topic like this numb-nut! Mike I'm a "numb nuts" now? Damn.....they don't feel differant. SGatr15

Prime example of someone who can't, doesn't or just flat don't get it where READING is concerned!

The optimal issue here in my post was: Quoted:

Ya'd don't want to know what I think of a grown man (which is quite a debatable issue in itself) who still plays w/ GI Joes.........

Mike

I think it was posted as humor, not real news....

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: This is total Mike PS - seek medical attention immediately! Pot... Kettle... Black... Show me a post where I "authored" a BS topic like this numb-nut! Mike

You have a seemingly inexhaustable supply of tinfoil hatted theories and half-witted explanations for everything that happens. Some recent examples: The government is behind 9/11. The government is covering up who downed TWA800. George Bush is a known cocaine fiend who bought it by the pound. Roosevelt knew in advance about Pearl Harbor. Etc... etc... etc. There is no theory too wild or too divorced from reality for you to reject it.

Sarge's post has about as great a probability of being true as does the mindless drivel that you post. Hence: Pot... Kettle... Black on you calling Sarge's post B.S. Plus, anyone with two functioning brain cells can see that the piece posted here is PARODY.

I hope she kicks someone's ass on her first day, otherwise she'll have to become someone's bitch.

Sorry for the hijack but since pabulum breath has take our IM public here's my response to him via e-mail (too big for IM)

Show me a post where I "authored" a BS topic like this numb-nut! Mike Gee, how many thread have you posted your mindless tinfoil-hat "the government was behind 9/11" crap? At least the Sarge was posting a parody piece for humor purposes. Y You, on the other hand, actually seem to believe a lot of wild conspiracy BS that is easily disprovable to anyone with even a modicum of logic. Have a nice day.

Again we have someone who doesn't READ. I "authored" none of those posts your referring to, I didn’t bring the subject UP. I did post opposing and contradictory viewpoints tho, which IF you'd bothered to buy the books, read and research the data fully you have probably like most folks w/ a modicum of common sense realized that our government is NOT telling the truth and rarely ever does.

They lied about Pearl Harbor and anyone who's ever taken the time to read Stinnetts'  "Day Of Deceit: The Truth About FDR and Pearl Harbor" or "Pearl Harbor: Mother of All Conspiracies " by Mark Emerson Willey, would know it was a lie.

Every notice on 9/11 the code words "This is just like Pear Harbor!" that fluttered around no matter the station ya tuned in on for the FIRST FEW HOURS?????? Did notice those words were NEVER utter later on that evening or the following days????? Ever wonder why?

I care not what you believe, I believe Randy Weaver, I believe Waco, I believe Jana Davis in "The Third Terrorist: The Middle East Connection to the Oklahoma City Bombing" in which it was PROVEN that Iraqi terrorists were there in OKC that morning when the bombing occurred. I believe the eyewitnesses there at the motel that morning that SWEAR to this day (those that are still livin) that McVeigh left w/ them in the Rider truck and other vehicles on their way to bomb the Murrah Federal Building......

Such evidence is classified as DIRECT evidence, not circumstantial. Davis presents the steadfast testimonies of "twenty-two witnesses" who positively identified under oath Iraqi nationals colluding with the Oklahoma City bombers, McVeigh and Nichols. The majority of these people are strangers to one another, yet their testimonies overlap. More importantly, the prior warnings issued by the Congressional Task Force on Terrorism clearly stated that Islamist terrorists were planning to "strike the heart of the U.S." and had recruited two "lily whites" (i.e. McVeigh and Nichols) to deliver the deadly payload.

Don't YOU read?????? What are YOU afraid of? That you might actually become intelligent enough to actually see thru the "smoke and mirrors" that confound and insult the sheeple of this country????

Wake up, educate yourself, DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, there are 3 books listed here, start there.......

I'll make a deal w/ you send me your name and address.

I will see to it you get a copy (used probably) of each of these three books.

Read them all.

If after you read them you think I'm full of shit and can provide PROOF that the information in these three books is BOGUS (not just your mis-guided opinion mind you but real substantial proof).

I'll apologize to the whole AR15.com Board and never post again... (btw if you want to post this it's fine w/ me, that's how certain I am about the facts in these books)

What do you say?

Care to take the challenge, btw you must be over 21 or all bets are off, I don't make deals with the youth of our current education system as they rarely have any snap and for the most part couldn't find their butt with either hand. (that includes my twin 17 yr. old boys, who although good kids are a product of their mother's environment)

Should you NOT be able to refute the charges leveled against our government by these books, nothing other than an apology to me will be required, infact I'll even turn you on to other books which IMO hold even more relevant and pertinent 9/11 information if you so desire.

Understand it's quite important to first realize that your history, what you have been taught is a lie, which is why I think it important to start w/ past history, (I have books on the Maine and others further back but as I don't know your age I'm not certain they'd hold the same value for ya as say these listed above)

Balls in your court, put up or shut-up

Mike

added: color for grins........I'm waiting

IBTL.

SGatr15

Mr_Wilson has become my internet stalker. He is sending me IMs and emails. Since he deems it necessary to post here what he is sending me in private, I guess I will post my email reply for all to read.

Now I have an internet stalker. This is really making you look sane a rational. I read most of the Pearl Harbor drivel when I was in graduate school working on my PhD. My professor, Dr. Robert Maddox, made us do it, so that we could have a good example of poor research and poor use of evidence. I have looked into the archival materials, and checked out the footnotes in enough of these books to conclude with high confidence that THEY ARE FULL OF CRAP!!! As a trained historian, I spent years learning how to to do source and textual criticism. I've looked at many of the books you suggest below, and found their sources weak and not credible. Why would I waste my time reading something based upon conjecture, laughable evidence, and undependable eye witness testimony. Grand conspiracies runs nearly all run afoul of Occam's Razor (Pluralitas non est ponenda sine necessitas. This is commonly interpreted as "the simplest answer is usually correct.")and Hanlon's Razor (Never attribute to malices what can be adequately explained by stupidity.). Remember, extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. None of the sources you cite even come CLOSE to meeting that standard. These conspiracy theories are not falsifiable, comprehensive, and fail the test of sufficiency. You might want to look at this site and consider working on improving your critical thinking skills:Critical Thinking If you wish to believe these wild conspiracies, continue to do so. I choose logic over conjecture. And please stop emailing me.

Sorry for the threadjack Sarge. I found the original post very amusing.

Will you watch the Presidential Debates this Thursday September 30th?   Yes - I want to see how badly Bush will foul up the English language.   No - Watching Kerry in a debate will be as exciting as watching a turtle race an ant.

Did y'all hit the poll while you were there?

BigDozer66

PAEBR332

I sent you ONE IM, to which you replied, I sent you a second to let you know my reply was too long for IM so I sent it to your e-mail.

According to you now, that makes me an internet stalker, hummmm and I'm the one whose considered irrational.....sure right. You seem a bit   to me too!

You embellished the IM reply ya sent to me "here" in this thread, so I reciprocated by posting publicly my response above. (but according to you it was me that initiated this off public discussion in public, oops, I believe the facts are that you started it, see above, ya can even see the things ya added when ya posted here that weren't in what ya sent me....)

Now rather than accept the challenge (which would be something I'm certain alot of folks would like to see, as I keep my word and would cease to post as well as you'd gain "at no cost to you" 3 good books) you want to again insult me by posting this here and blame it on me? Ya got some nerve fella.

Not only have ya got no balls, IF you had the intellect you purport to and the un-impeachable proof ya claim then I'd be a gone dude in nuthin flat, now wouldn't I?

Why would you not do this unless your NOT on the level, (an old surveyor's term) for although I've had some college I dang sure ain't no history professor, simply a 5th generation Texas red-neck, with a predilection for reading everything that piques my interest and this should be no leap for a high stepper like you, unless of course your full of shit.

Without saying whether you've read any of the 3 books I posted, you give a what I can only perceive as some legalese excuse for why you choose not to accept.

Not knowing your age (I'm 50 btw) this gibberish above gives no way to verify whether you were in school, studying history before or after these books were published, again a clear obfuscation.

FWIW, all of these books were published in the 90s (some mid to late, IIRC) and I find it hard to believe you, especially since you went the "long way around the barn" about whether you have actually read these books or not. (one of the difference between us, If I'm wrong I admit it, ask me a question I strive to give a straight answer, not baffle folks w/ BS)

What are you a history professor, a politician or a lawyer, 'cus it appears to me your doing a great impression of "dancin a little side-step" with your comments. (shades of Charles Durning in the "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas", can't sing it here tho)

BTW, have to ask given your response, what branch of the government do you work for?

Nuff said, the gallery can decide for themselves the relevancy of these matter and determine for themselves who put their dick on the table and who tucked tail.......

Mike

ps - sarge I apologized above for the hi-jack and would not have started this had I not been provoked.

My apologies to the others here too, ya could have been rid of me for good, instead guess I'll be stickin around...... ....... as apparently PAEBR332, (whose "Psychopolitician" label fits very well) has made his choice.

you guys are so wrong!

it's all true. i swear. my brothers ex-girl friends kids babysitters step-dad was the guy in the tattoo shop that got slapped. i asked him why he didnt hit back and he just started crying. it was so traumatic.
i'd say thats as solid as a CBS memo!

If Iraq was even remotely invovled in the OKC bombing, why would'nt W release that info to further justify the "Liberation" of Iraq?

HHAAA  HHAAAA!!!!! Its a trap....

Quoted: PAEBR332 I sent you ONE IM, to which you replied, I sent you a second to let you know my reply was too long for IM so I sent it to your e-mail. According to you now, that makes me an internet stalker, hummmm and I'm the one whose considered irrational.....sure right. You seem a bit   to me too!I did not send you an IM and an email within 30 minutes. I was more than happy to discuss this in the open, without needing to contact you personally. You embellished the IM reply ya sent to me "here" in this thread, so I reciprocated by posting publicly my response above. (but according to you it was me that initiated this off public discussion in public, oops, I believe the facts are that you started it, see above, ya can even see the things ya added when ya posted here that weren't in what ya sent me....)So now I initiated the off-public discussion? You sent me an IM, after posting here, in which you called me out. Then, you emailed me with your next reply. I never would have IM'ed or emailed you on this topic. I'm not obsessive. Now rather than accept the challenge (which would be something I'm certain alot of folks would like to see, as I keep my word and would cease to post as well as you'd gain "at no cost to you" 3 good books) you want to again insult me by posting this here and blame it on me? Ya got some nerve fella. I have looked at the "sources" presented in two of the three books you mention. They were so laughable, and already disproven multiple times, I would not waste another ten minutes of my time reading further. I've never read The Protocols of The Elders of Zion either, so I guess that means I cannot comment on them been known crap either Not only have ya got no balls, IF you had the intellect you purport to and the un-impeachable proof See, you require unimpeachable proof, but do not have to provide anything but half-assed theories and disjointed evidence in support of yours. Another proof of lack of critical thinking skillsya claim then I'd be a gone dude in nuthin flat, now wouldn't I? No, you would continue to support your wild theories. Your out is always "the government is suppressing the truth" or some such nonsense. That is why I made the statement about your propositions not being falsifiable, since there is no level of proof which will satisfy you. You have determined a priori that these are conspiracies, and nothing will change your mind. If this is not true, please tell us if you have ever once in your life decided that a conspiracy theory you once held turned out to be wrong, and that the conventional explanation was correct. Why would you not do this unless your NOT on the level, (an old surveyor's term) for although I've had some college I dang sure ain't no history professor, simply a 5th generation Texas red-neck, with a predilection for reading everything that piques my interest and this should be no leap for a high stepper like you, unless of course your full of shit.Reading lots of stuff is no substitute for understanding. Sorry. Many people read a lot of stuff but lack the critical thinking skills to determine whether what they read is likely to be true. You appear to be such a person. Without saying whether you've read any of the 3 books I posted, you give a what I can only perceive as some legalese excuse for why you choose not to accept.Because these books make the same claims that have been disproved dozens of times by reputable historians. I don't have to read the lastest book claiming the Earth is flat. This has been disproved enough times I can safely ignore the "new" information. Same thing on Pearl Harbor. Not knowing your age (I'm 50 btw) this gibberish above gives no way to verify whether you were in school, studying history before or after these books were published, again a clear obfuscation. I finished my graduate studies in 1992. I did not read these specific books, but merely scanned them at the book store. They, like their predecessors on the topic, are BUNK. FWIW, all of these books were published in the 90s (some mid to late, IIRC) and I find it hard to believe you, especially since you went the "long way around the barn" about whether you have actually read these books or not. (one of the difference between us, If I'm wrong I admit it, ask me a question I strive to give a straight answer, not baffle folks w/ BS)In my reply I wrote that I had already read enough drivel on the topic. I looked briefly at the books your recommend, and they are just rehashing the same exact discounted evidence used for the past 60+ years to try to prove Roosevelt knew. It was bunk in 1942, it is bunk today. What are you a history professor, a politician or a lawyer, 'cus it appears to me your doing a great impression of "dancin a little side-step" with your comments. (shades of Charles Durning in the "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas", can't sing it here tho) BTW, have to ask given your response, what branch of the government do you work for?Further evidence of your paranoid tendencies. What ever gave you the impression I work for the government, other then your delusions that only .gov types don't believe your "theories." Nuff said, the gallery can decide for themselves the relevancy of these matter and determine for themselves who put their dick on the table and who tucked tail....... Mike ps - sarge I apologized above for the hi-jack and would not have started this had I not been provoked. My apologies to the others here too, ya could have been rid of me for good, instead guess I'll be stickin around...... ....... as apparently PAEBR332, (whose "Psychopolitician" label fits very well) has made his choice.Do you know what a psychopolitician is? Do you believe such a thing exists?

Extraordinary claims require extraodinary evidence
The burden of providing this proof is on the one who makes the extraordinary claim. It is your evidence that must be overwhelming. If I claimed the moon was made of green cheese, I cannot then sit back and ask you to prove ME wrong. I have to provide enough evidence to support my claims. It's called disproving the Null hypothesis. In the Pearl Harbor example you give, you must DISPROVE, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the U.S. did not know of the attack in advance. Same thing for Oklahoma City.

Have you checked out my link? Unlike your challenge that would require me to read 3 books written by tinfoil beanie types, you can read the link in ten minutes, and maybe even learn something. Approach this Critical Thinking information with as open a mind as you would the latest "Government Behind Cover-Up" book. You may actually learn something.

I heard that after Martha got her TOTALLY SWEET tat, about ten pirates walked in to get their own gay tats of duckies.  Martha just looked up and said, " duckie tats are for idiots." . The pirates got totally pissed and started running around Martha in circles . In the background this sweet guitar music started wailing and Martha ripped off her business suit and revealed her awesome Ninja suit underneath.  The guitar music started getting louder and louder and the pirates all started crying like babies but Martha didn't even care. She pulled out a giant box of glitter that crushed the WHOLE STORE and the crybaby pirates.

This story wasn't written by me, it just makes me really pumped. It made me so TOTALLY pumped I slammed my penis in a door.

If this story doesn't get you pumped you are an idiot.

Funny thing is that she WANTS to go to prison, she got a release from a federal judge to go Oct. 8.

I wouldn't buy her Kmart stuff...why pay for her lawyers?

Quoted: Quoted: PAEBR332 I sent you ONE IM, to which you replied, I sent you a second to let you know my reply was too long for IM so I sent it to your e-mail. According to you now, that makes me an internet stalker, hummmm and I'm the one whose considered irrational.....sure right. You seem a bit   to me too!I did not send you an IM and an email within 30 minutes. I was more than happy to discuss this in the open, without needing to contact you personally. You embellished the IM reply ya sent to me "here" in this thread, so I reciprocated by posting publicly my response above. (but according to you it was me that initiated this off public discussion in public, oops, I believe the facts are that you started it, see above, ya can even see the things ya added when ya posted here that weren't in what ya sent me....)So now I initiated the off-public discussion? You sent me an IM, after posting here, in which you called me out. Then, you emailed me with your next reply. I never would have IM'ed or emailed you on this topic. I'm not obsessive. Now rather than accept the challenge (which would be something I'm certain alot of folks would like to see, as I keep my word and would cease to post as well as you'd gain "at no cost to you" 3 good books) you want to again insult me by posting this here and blame it on me? Ya got some nerve fella. I have looked at the "sources" presented in two of the three books you mention. They were so laughable, and already disproven multiple times, I would not waste another ten minutes of my time reading further. I've never read The Protocols of The Elders of Zion either, so I guess that means I cannot comment on them been known crap either Not only have ya got no balls, IF you had the intellect you purport to and the un-impeachable proof See, you require unimpeachable proof, but do not have to provide anything but half-assed theories and disjointed evidence in support of yours. Another proof of lack of critical thinking skillsya claim then I'd be a gone dude in nuthin flat, now wouldn't I? No, you would continue to support your wild theories. Your out is always "the government is suppressing the truth" or some such nonsense. That is why I made the statement about your propositions not being falsifiable, since there is no level of proof which will satisfy you. You have determined a priori that these are conspiracies, and nothing will change your mind. If this is not true, please tell us if you have ever once in your life decided that a conspiracy theory you once held turned out to be wrong, and that the conventional explanation was correct. Why would you not do this unless your NOT on the level, (an old surveyor's term) for although I've had some college I dang sure ain't no history professor, simply a 5th generation Texas red-neck, with a predilection for reading everything that piques my interest and this should be no leap for a high stepper like you, unless of course your full of shit.Reading lots of stuff is no substitute for understanding. Sorry. Many people read a lot of stuff but lack the critical thinking skills to determine whether what they read is likely to be true. You appear to be such a person. Without saying whether you've read any of the 3 books I posted, you give a what I can only perceive as some legalese excuse for why you choose not to accept.Because these books make the same claims that have been disproved dozens of times by reputable historians. I don't have to read the lastest book claiming the Earth is flat. This has been disproved enough times I can safely ignore the "new" information. Same thing on Pearl Harbor. Not knowing your age (I'm 50 btw) this gibberish above gives no way to verify whether you were in school, studying history before or after these books were published, again a clear obfuscation. I finished my graduate studies in 1992. I did not read these specific books, but merely scanned them at the book store. They, like their predecessors on the topic, are BUNK. FWIW, all of these books were published in the 90s (some mid to late, IIRC) and I find it hard to believe you, especially since you went the "long way around the barn" about whether you have actually read these books or not. (one of the difference between us, If I'm wrong I admit it, ask me a question I strive to give a straight answer, not baffle folks w/ BS)In my reply I wrote that I had already read enough drivel on the topic. I looked briefly at the books your recommend, and they are just rehashing the same exact discounted evidence used for the past 60+ years to try to prove Roosevelt knew. It was bunk in 1942, it is bunk today. What are you a history professor, a politician or a lawyer, 'cus it appears to me your doing a great impression of "dancin a little side-step" with your comments. (shades of Charles Durning in the "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas", can't sing it here tho) BTW, have to ask given your response, what branch of the government do you work for?Further evidence of your paranoid tendencies. What ever gave you the impression I work for the government, other then your delusions that only .gov types don't believe your "theories." Nuff said, the gallery can decide for themselves the relevancy of these matter and determine for themselves who put their dick on the table and who tucked tail....... Mike ps - sarge I apologized above for the hi-jack and would not have started this had I not been provoked. My apologies to the others here too, ya could have been rid of me for good, instead guess I'll be stickin around...... ....... as apparently PAEBR332, (whose "Psychopolitician" label fits very well) has made his choice.Do you know what a psychopolitician is? Do you believe such a thing exists? Extraordinary claims require extraodinary evidence The burden of providing this proof is on the one who makes the extraordinary claim. It is your evidence that must be overwhelming. If I claimed the moon was made of green cheese, I cannot then sit back and ask you to prove ME wrong. I have to provide enough evidence to support my claims. It's called disproving the Null hypothesis. In the Pearl Harbor example you give, you must DISPROVE, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the U.S. did not know of the attack in advance. Same thing for Oklahoma City. Have you checked out my link? Unlike your challenge that would require me to read 3 books written by tinfoil beanie types, you can read the link in ten minutes, and maybe even learn something. Approach this Critical Thinking information with as open a mind as you would the latest "Government Behind Cover-Up" book. You may actually learn something.

This is by far the best thread of the day!

Parody posted, called BS, BS whistleblower chastised, whistleblower embarassed...calls author "numb-nuts", now debate on conspiracy theories ensues...

I love this place!

right,.........