[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Manliness question (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 9/4/2004 9:24:39 AM EDT
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Hey I need some help. I just let my wife take my truck to haul some stuff over to her mother's place. Am I now less manly because I let a woman drive my truck? Is she more of a woman because she is driving a truck ? Or is she a more manly woman? I've been debating this with myself for a couple of hours. Please help!My manliness is in your hands! Notice I said manliness and not manhood. |
You're more of a man for being secure in your manliness and allowing her to take it. She's more of a woman for being able to handle it on her own. But if you take into account the fact that the moment you question your manliness, you've already lost a bit of it, I'm not sure how far you are ahead.
What is this oxygen channel that you speak of? They have a channel dedicated to airheads????
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maybe she will change the oil and do that brake job you've been putting off |
HEY! But I counter the pussification effect it has on me by always having a manly firearm nearby |
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Whew! You all keep me laughing thats for sure! Before I looked at the responses I went out and got some chewing tobacco , beer and a couple of dirty magazines. I went to my gun room grabbed both my AR's , both Glocks, both 1911s,one of my shotguns and my Rem.700 in .300 ultra-mag and sat down to watch a football game in my under wear! ( Why was there a football game in my underwear?.....uh...umm....uh)Oh crap! My wife just pulled up!!!Better get this stuff out of here before she gets mad! |
Whew! You got to the antivenom just in time! That was close. |
If this is the case, I will wash my hands 1,000 times. |
You let her get a driver's license??? |
| It is quite manly to allow your truck to go to your MILs house with you not in it, it is the only way my truck will ever get there. However having to ask whether or not it is manly is down right fruity. speaking of Manly I need to go clean some guns and kill soemthing, it's been ten minutes sine I have made anything dead. |
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The Ultimate Manliness Test as far as my wife was concerned: A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE. A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female. A Retrosexual DEALS with IT. Be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT. A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself. A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still dealing with it, I salute you. A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an end cap (possibly 2 end caps if you include shaving goods.) A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old. A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff, or people if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code. A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title. A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on National TV. A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you. A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey. A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and only a Windsor knot. A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting. A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you are. A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that you are riddled with fear. Guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus, it's just plain fun to shoot. Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part. A Retrosexual's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood". Acceptable ones may include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in his better days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy, Scarface, The Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I, II, or III, Full Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt, any Bruce Lee movie, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, etc. When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman. He then looks around at the other so called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face. A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness. These activities offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married or engaged in a serious healthy relationship - I.E. hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, car maintenance, or highest of all, car racing. A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils. A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (even a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride on a plow berm. A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he wanted it to land. A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military uniform (except officers above 2nd Lieutenant.) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country. A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract, a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him. A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT |
No, I just got a cool older sister.
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Mr. dog... Your wife has planted doubts in the vehicle's mind about who is in charge. You only have a little time left to do this... you must get a six pack or a bottle tequila, some beef jerky and a few cigars. Enjoy the manly vices.. then take that truck offroad and bury it up to the transfer case in mud and water. Winch it out with a comealong. Its the only way you can reclaim alpha status with the vehicle. |

