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Posted: 5/21/2002 9:49:53 AM EDT
Give it your best shot. Here are a few to get you started. Radio crackles Tangos spotted in food court This could get messy Teenage hooligans Harrassing the customers I descend from the ceiling Hands on your head, punk Drop the Hilfiger jacket My team shoots to kill
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 10:16:18 AM EDT
Ninjas are so cool and by cool I mean their sweet I just crapped my pants
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 12:01:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/22/2002 11:03:25 AM EDT by Steel_Rat]
Ninjas are mammals But sometimes they just flip out And cut off your head [Edited to correct it 5-7-5]
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 1:39:47 PM EDT
I love Mall Ninjas yes with all of my body even my pee pee
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 1:45:17 PM EDT
shoplifter identified .50 caliber justice cleanup in front of Sears
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 1:45:52 PM EDT
I will wait calmly They pass me like a river Three Oh Eight ends crime
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 1:52:08 PM EDT
ever vigilant looking at the T and A time to act
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 1:55:59 PM EDT
Duct Tape on my Skin Very Bad Planning from Me Trauma Plate Works Well
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 2:04:18 PM EDT
I confront the Crip "Sir, turn around your ball cap" Come to in dumpster
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 2:11:35 PM EDT
Strut Like a Big Man Free Fries from the Chick-Fil-A Teenage Girls are Nice
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 2:37:24 PM EDT
Campaign cover and starched shirt I'm cool, dude See how fast I draw my mace
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 2:38:47 PM EDT
Humvee in Monkey Wards Dust settles Ready to Rock I move out
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 2:45:04 PM EDT
Too tight in my blues Mall walk, regulation shoes Flashlight bangs my thigh.
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 3:21:31 PM EDT
The wind does not blow Shoplifter is still and near Sight picture, slack, squeeze
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 3:29:07 PM EDT
Did I leave the George Forman grill on? O-crap! there goes another moble home[>(]
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 3:31:25 PM EDT
No, Sharper Image My nostril hairs are just fine Ahhh... Spencer Gifts.
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 3:36:51 PM EDT
I curse the cheap claws As I fall from the mall roof my chute deploys late My golf cart hums sweet Fifty cal mounted behind tires squeal on marble Trauma plates taped on I confront the heathen crowd and they know nothing
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:22:31 AM EDT
Old ladies with blue hair Walk so slow Young punks with silly clothes Rude and loud Please save me, Mall Ninja!
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:27:25 AM EDT
Laser rangefinder My prey at one fifty yards The Donut Hut babe
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:42:58 AM EDT
3pm, my shift at last The heat from the cafe court clouds my IR goggles. I as approach fast, The thermal image paints her hot snatch. My combat boots clack my step and persception fine I removed my goggles to eye a ruge bodacious rack and by bodacious, I mean boobylicious! I flank to the right to catch a new sight this baby's got back! She hooks me up with some fries. I knew I had the chance then she asked me to dance to late, I had crapped my pants.
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:47:40 AM EDT
Polyester Pants CB Flashlight Black Shoes Go! Shoplift at own risk.
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:51:04 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/22/2002 9:08:15 AM EDT by stony275]
Gentlemen, Although some of your submissions are certainly entertaining. Many do not fit the parameters of haiku. The pattern of syllables is 5,7,5. If you look at the first three haiku(s?), you will see they fit this convention. Police school dropout If only they saw me now Shogun of retail! (Edited. There's a big difference between syllables and consonants)
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:59:58 AM EDT
Rapid deployment MP5 sings its sweet song Fountain coins are safe
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 8:21:16 AM EDT
I thought 5,7,5 was syllables, but mall haikus may be consonants.
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 8:30:15 AM EDT
Ohhhhhh!, I see. 5,7,5 Let me try again: Ninja on the prowl Eyes himself some fresh booty Craps his pants again
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 8:40:41 AM EDT
My name is mall ninja Fife My guns are all rusty, my knife is all dusty And I never made an arrest in my life
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 8:45:19 AM EDT
Originally Posted By P806: My name is mall ninja Fife My guns are all rusty, my knife is all dusty And I never made an arrest in my life
View Quote
That's a LIMERICK!
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 9:09:25 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/22/2002 9:12:12 AM EDT by redray]
hahaha..... from limerick...... [b]there once was a ninja oh yeah! who thought he was badder than hell. he climbed up the wall at the top he said, " 'tis too tall!" and he lost his low wage job at the mall.[/b] to haiku...... [b]mall ninja climb wall his back feels intense pain... unemployment line.[/b]
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 9:36:49 AM EDT
.300 whisper Throw smoke grenades for cover food court sniper down trauma plate in front how to secure dorsal plate? GlockTalk has answers
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 4:08:42 PM EDT
Gangsta wannabe Trousers slung below his waist Death touch stops his heart
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 4:12:49 PM EDT
Gap chick folding shirts Closer in my reticle Finger strokes trigger
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 4:31:32 PM EDT
Within the shadows Hidden eyes scanning, scanning The Mall is now safe
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 4:49:32 PM EDT
keen senses say strike throwing stars cast in flurry now Orange Julius
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:26:27 PM EDT
I applaud you all your best efforts might be lame but it all rings true I can't write haiku certainly not about Gecko while you have done well Of course, these haiku will be archived at my site mall ninjas rejoice Verse, a true homage to the gaurdians of malls who can criticize? After all, you shoot- writing certainly not your strongest of subjects[;)] [url]Mallninja.com[/url] has new material will I now update? Juggernaut
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 8:15:16 PM EDT
Clad in black, I strike! In the video arcade Bloody quarters fly
Link Posted: 5/23/2002 11:53:10 AM EDT
The armored car guys Carry guns into my mall Why can't I have one? A shoplifter caught Police come and pick him up I NEED to be one.
Link Posted: 5/23/2002 12:10:56 PM EDT
Adipose quivers, Polyester uniform, Fired for sleeping Shoplifter stop now! I hurl my fierce shuriken, Too fat to run fast. Mexican, Chinese? The food court confuses me. Puff of smoke, I'm gone. I have no pistol. Black clad, I blend with mall map. Silent ,I thwart evil. Quickly to the arcade! Two malcontents battle there, Photos, then banished.
Link Posted: 5/23/2002 12:17:53 PM EDT
Read SOF ad Send check for ancient manual Training is complete
Link Posted: 5/23/2002 12:45:47 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/23/2002 12:59:17 PM EDT by Javak]
Mall Ninja flips out Cut off paying customer's head Cleans toilet for life. Board members love me All their body and peepee Mall Ninja not gay
Link Posted: 6/4/2002 4:42:19 PM EDT
Jojo rappels down Class IV plates tugging duct tape Waldenbooks is safe
Link Posted: 6/4/2002 5:40:06 PM EDT
Mall Ninja? Don't get this shit. High School dork on power trip? Dressed in black. Chick-Fil-A gives him gas? Mall Ninja let em rip.
Link Posted: 6/4/2002 6:09:48 PM EDT
The Womenz walk by Ninja low crawls through the mall Perv alert! eek! Eek! I am Mall Ninja School girls slap decal on me Hello Kitty sucks! Vigilent Ninja Sees the nastiest habits On booger patrol
Link Posted: 6/4/2002 6:34:31 PM EDT
Totally sweet? Yes. Totally tactical? Yes. The mall ninja rules!
Link Posted: 6/4/2002 6:45:40 PM EDT
See the girl Ninja! Mall Ninja peepee gets wood Maybe NOT confused
Link Posted: 6/4/2002 7:15:38 PM EDT
McUzi is back Mall Ninja, not a Big Mac GoatBoy cut some slack
Link Posted: 6/4/2002 7:38:59 PM EDT
Mall Ninja sound like "RAP"?
Link Posted: 6/5/2002 10:19:41 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/5/2002 10:23:19 AM EDT by Mute]
Wall climbing shoes on I love watching little girls Like a God I am Ballistic plates on Front and back they protect me Glock 9 at ready Golf cart turbocharged The litterbugs I hunt down Hollowpoint head shot Respect me you will For great wrath shall I call down On my megaphone Special Ops wannabes Hold no candle to my skills Mall Ninja am I
Link Posted: 6/5/2002 10:48:45 AM EDT
night vision engaged ruckus at sharper image silenced round makes peace enjoying slurpee peace disturbed by teen mallrats brass bounces off tile watching birds nest above hanging from skylight, see all lonely at the top taco bell for lunch loud bitch orders big mac, fry too stupid to read
Link Posted: 6/5/2002 11:40:06 AM EDT
Fifty cal goes boom Elevator needs cleaning Store gets back their goods All this cool hardware No need for any training I can walk on walls!
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