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Posted: 5/16/2012 12:25:32 PM EDT
Everyone thinks this is rude as all hell.  Hasn't really affected me personally but everyone at work is annoyed by it.  Sometimes we need to get things (even work related things) sent to us that the whole world doesn't need to know about.  

I was trying to think about ways of sending a hint.  I've come up with a few ideas:

Send a letter to the office.  Enclose a piece of paper that simply says "It's not very polite to open other people's mail."  The problem is who to address it to - if it's only addressed to the company or someone that no longer works there, she probably should open it.  If it's addressed to someone that currently works there it would probably start a pissing match.

A variation of this would be to address it to everyone, although that would cost about $50 in stamps.

What I'd like to do but I'm NOT going to do would be to send an empty box to myself - when it gets opened ask her why she stole the contents.  

Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:31:25 PM EDT
Just send it to your boss.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:32:23 PM EDT
Has she ever gone around and said "Guess what X got in the mail?"

If so, I see this as ripe for some fun.  You should address a letter to yourself from some famous actress thanking you for the wonderful time the other night.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:33:41 PM EDT
Normalcy in office environments in my experience. Do you live there?
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:34:55 PM EDT
Originally Posted By gopeterson:
If so, I see this as ripe for some fun.  You should address a letter to yourself from some famous actress thanking you for the wonderful time the other night.


If you really want to make her talk, have the letter be from John Travolta thanking you for the wonderful "massage".

Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:35:00 PM EDT
Just man-up and tell her to stay out of your business.

That ... or fill an envelope with corn starch and really freak her out.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:35:08 PM EDT
Originally Posted By pilotman:
Everyone thinks this is rude as all hell.  Hasn't really affected me personally but everyone at work is annoyed by it.  Sometimes we need to get things (even work related things) sent to us that the whole world doesn't need to know about.  

I was trying to think about ways of sending a hint.  I've come up with a few ideas:

Send a letter to the office.  Enclose a piece of paper that simply says "It's not very polite to open other people's mail."  The problem is who to address it to - if it's only addressed to the company or someone that no longer works there, she probably should open it.  If it's addressed to someone that currently works there it would probably start a pissing match.

A variation of this would be to address it to everyone, although that would cost about $50 in stamps.

What I'd like to do but I'm NOT going to do would be to send an empty box to myself - when it gets opened ask her why she stole the contents.  



I like the box idea.  Get a non-work friend to mail it to you.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:35:37 PM EDT
Just tell her to knock it off.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:36:31 PM EDT
Originally Posted By lichter50:
Just tell her to knock it off.


Tell her to cut it the fuck out, or you will contact the authorities, your boss, owner of the company, etc.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:37:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 12:38:15 PM EDT by DzlBenz]
When I worked at The Stinkin' Phone Company™, all incoming mail was opened by the mail room.


ETA: If something was marked, "Personal and Confidential" it wasn't opened. Everything else was opened.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:39:20 PM EDT
They know better than to open mine. The best was when I ordered a case of 7.62x39 and it showed up in the origianal Russian wood boxes marked up with cyrillic alphabet and explosives stickers. I thought our receptionist was going to kill me!!

Our old HR director was such a cool dude, that he actually asked me to let him know next time I was ordering ammo so he could get in on it.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:43:11 PM EDT
Mail a box to her directly.

Include a note about not opening other peoples mail

attached to a giant dildo.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:43:16 PM EDT
Have someone mail you a copy of 18 USC Section 1702.  Not necessarily applicable, but close enough, and might give her a pause.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:43:57 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DzlBenz:
When I worked at The Stinkin' Phone Company™, all incoming mail was opened by the mail room.


ETA: If something was marked, "Personal and Confidential" it wasn't opened. Everything else was opened.


We don't even have a mail room, she's just the receptionist.  Her predecessor didn't do this.


Originally Posted By lichter50:
Just tell her to knock it off.


This may work with "normal" people.  We're talking about someone that has to interject her bullshit into everyone's life.  She frequently sends out 2-3 emails a day about the most mundane shit (her predecessor didn't do this either) and judging by some of the snappy "reply to all" emails that have been coming out of this people are getting sick of this too.  

She gave me a bunch of shit one time because the hole punch I was using got stuck and I had to whack it on the table to free it.  She thinks she's everyone's mother when in reality she has had to ask other people help her in the bathroom.  (you read that right)
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:44:57 PM EDT
Human Resources Manager (if you have one) would probably have a chat with her.
 
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:46:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 12:49:18 PM EDT by bluefalcon]
Originally Posted By KiloBravo:
Just man-up and tell her to stay out of your business.

That ... or fill an envelope with corn starch and really freak her out.


Yup, add one of these, too:


Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:48:54 PM EDT
It might not be a felony, but it's probably close enough to threaten a lawsuit.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:53:59 PM EDT
The company I work for has 17,000 employees,  none of our mail is opened.  That just seems weird to me.  I that standard policy?
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 12:57:09 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 12:57:19 PM EDT by JDMBabaganoosh]
breaking laws is normal practice in your businesses?

it's a felony. advise her as such.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:00:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 1:00:43 PM EDT by NagOrzo15-1]
In matters of business, getting something in the mail is "notice" of it.

It is also the case that customers, opposing parties, and others tend to sometimes address things to people by their names but without company information.  This is business mail.

So someone has to open all the mail.

If you do not like it, it is your responsibility (a) not to receive personal email at the office (a firing offense in some places –– get a damned PO Box); or (b) to ensure that personal mail is conspicuously marked "personal and confidential" on the outside.

Simple.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:00:36 PM EDT
What is your company's policy?
 
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:01:14 PM EDT
Originally Posted By JDMBabaganoosh:
breaking laws is normal practice in your businesses?

it's a felony. advise her as such.


My understanding is that it's not illegeal to open other people's mail if it has been delivered - now if it's been taken from the post office loading dock with the intention of using the contents that's a different story.  

See scotchymcdrinkerbean's post.


18 USC § 1702 - Obstruction of correspondence
Whoever takes any letter, postal card, or package out of any post office or any authorized depository for mail matter, or from any letter or mail carrier, or which has been in any post office or authorized depository, or in the custody of any letter or mail carrier, before it has been delivered to the person to whom it was directed, with design to obstruct the correspondence, or to pry into the business or secrets of another, or opens, secretes, embezzles, or destroys the same, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:03:51 PM EDT
Surely, you can find an envelope in this site to mail to her...

http://www.thegag.com/gag-gifts-prank-envelopes.html
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:04:20 PM EDT
I've seen it done both ways.  Some offices open all mail, others don't.  Since its office mail and not your personal mail, you don't have much of a leg to stand on.  And having personal mail sent to your work place is a very bad idea.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:04:25 PM EDT
Originally Posted By bluefalcon:
Originally Posted By KiloBravo:
Just man-up and tell her to stay out of your business.

That ... or fill an envelope with corn starch and really freak her out.


Yup, add one of these, too:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIxZWWDVPAg&feature=related


The danger in that gag is that the small piece of paper clip could come out of the envelope and injure someone the eye.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:04:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 1:07:34 PM EDT by mamacujo]
Originally Posted By lichter50:
Just tell her to knock it off.


This. If it is not addressed to her it is not any of her business. Isn't it a federal crime to tamper with someone else's mail? (already been addressed above I see) Why haven't you told her to keep her nose out of the mail?
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:09:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 1:09:49 PM EDT by VBC]
Originally Posted By CWO:
What is your company's policy?  


This.

Maybe she is used to working as a receptionist in a place where all incoming mail is opened, stamped with a received date and then distributed to the person it was addressed to.   This is done for CYA/filing/record purposes.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:09:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 1:10:14 PM EDT by Willmar]
At my old office job, any correspondence to me was opened by the secretary, attached to the appropriate claim file then placed in my "In" box. Only correspondence marked "Personal and Confidential" did not get opened by the secretary (and even then she occasionally opened it anyway). YMMV.

eta: forgot to add the "Date received" stamp was used as VBC noted above.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:14:29 PM EDT
Our "Office Manager" did this with some of my personal mail, and showed it to several other employees. So I stopped speaking to her.

One day I walked into the office, right past her desk, and totally ignored her when she spoke to me.

Several minutes later, she showed up at my desk (we worked in a large "bull pen" type of arrangement), and said in a voice that everyone in the office could hear "You didn't speak to me when you came in. Are you mad at me?"

I replied, also in a voice loud enough for everyone else to hear, "No, Nancy. I'm not mad at you. I just don't like you."
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:20:12 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Win_88:
Originally Posted By bluefalcon:
Originally Posted By KiloBravo:
Just man-up and tell her to stay out of your business.

That ... or fill an envelope with corn starch and really freak her out.


Yup, add one of these, too:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIxZWWDVPAg&feature=related


The danger in that gag is that the small piece of paper clip could come out of the envelope and injure someone the eye.


It's better to replace the paperclip with a small washer. Something like this:



In any case, the spinning thingy ought to scatter the corn start REAL good. Just be sure not to put any sort of biohazard or otherwise threatening stuff on there. Pretty sure that would be REALLY illegal, not to mention just messed up.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:21:30 PM EDT
Order a giant viabrator addressed to her.  Get box when it comes, open it and then close it and bring it to her.  Walk into her office super uncomfortable and say I got this by accident.  I started opening it but I realized it has your name on it.  I didn't look inside or anything.  Sorry.  And then walk out horrified.  Profit.

Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:26:27 PM EDT
Pro Tip: Tell her not to open your mail.

Next?
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:31:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 1:32:08 PM EDT by Alien]
I process the mail at work and any envelopes that have the company name on it gets opened per our office procedure (I wish I didn't have to open everything to be honest). If something appears to be personal like a handwritten envelope (even if it has the company name) or no company name, I won't open it. I do not open parcels/packages/boxes even if they do have the company name on them.

The stuff that I do open I only look inside of if I suspect it's an invoice (It's pretty obvious 99% of the time). If it is then I give that to accounting (they usually have a project manager's name on them instead of accounting).

I would not want anybody getting into my personal stuff. Any personal items I have sent to work do not have the company name. Also if it IS very private like a fleshlight or something, Put the company name as CONFIDENTIAL for added peace of mind.

FWIW

If I were you I would discuss with her boss that more discretion would be appreciated.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:34:51 PM EDT
Originally Posted By pilotman:
Originally Posted By DzlBenz:
When I worked at The Stinkin' Phone Company™, all incoming mail was opened by the mail room.


ETA: If something was marked, "Personal and Confidential" it wasn't opened. Everything else was opened.


We don't even have a mail room, she's just the receptionist.  Her predecessor didn't do this.


Originally Posted By lichter50:
Just tell her to knock it off.


This may work with "normal" people.  We're talking about someone that has to interject her bullshit into everyone's life.  She frequently sends out 2-3 emails a day about the most mundane shit (her predecessor didn't do this either) and judging by some of the snappy "reply to all" emails that have been coming out of this people are getting sick of this too.  

She gave me a bunch of shit one time because the hole punch I was using got stuck and I had to whack it on the table to free it.  She thinks she's everyone's mother when in reality she has had to ask other people help her in the bathroom.  (you read that right)


Are you scared of her?
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:38:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 1:38:35 PM EDT by Oliver]
Go stick your finger in her pussy and when she freaks out say "keep your fingers out of my package and I'll do the same"

Pee on floor also.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:40:04 PM EDT
She opened  your man-boy love association magazine?
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:41:27 PM EDT
If you could only ensure she would be the only one to open the envelope you could put some gentian violet in the "letter" and let her deal with the mess.

We had a sneak thief at work who would pilfer a departments $ stash (used for parties, flowers for bereaved, etc.). They put a small number of $1s in the envelope with some g/v and it was apparent who the perp was.

Dyes the fingers, clothing, whatever, with a purple stain that takes a few days to scrub off.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:43:25 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DrewN:
The company I work for has 17,000 employees,  none of our mail is opened.  That just seems weird to me.  I that standard policy?


I worked for a major auto insurer and it was the exact opposite.  30,000+ employees.  Every piece of mail that came in (at least for the claims department) was opened and the majority of it was  scanned into the computer system.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:44:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Oliver:
Go stick your finger in her pussy and when she freaks out say "keep your fingers out of my package and I'll do the same"

Pee on floor her also.


FIFY. Only way to establish dominance. Be sure to maintain eye contact throughout.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:45:16 PM EDT
Originally Posted By KiloBravo:
Just man-up and tell her to stay out of your business.



Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:45:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By HullBreach:
They know better than to open mine. The best was when I ordered a case of 7.62x39 and it showed up in the origianal Russian wood boxes marked up with cyrillic alphabet and explosives stickers. I thought our receptionist was going to kill me!!

Our old HR director was such a cool dude, that he actually asked me to let him know next time I was ordering ammo so he could get in on it.

There is a running joke with the receptionists at my company over what I'll order next. They've had to sign for everything from unboxed Halligan tools, to wooden crates of 5.45 surplus, to smokeless powder and primers. They even have an equipment dolly issued to them-specifically for deliveries. Because of this I take VERY good care of them at Christmas. I don't know what a receptionist makes but it can't be much. Last year they got netbooks and Amazon gift cards

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:47:32 PM EDT
Our current receptionist used to do this. The previous one did not. My supervisor finally got her to stop. He was in the middle of a messy divorce and she would open up his mail that had his divorce paperwork in it. The first time she did that he laid into her and told her that if she didn't stop opening up other peoples mail that he would contact his lawyer and have our HR person fire her. He said it much more vividly than I but the point was made and she hasn't done it again. He did contact HR and file a complaint but not one big enough to get her fired.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:48:07 PM EDT
Here's some simple fun.


"Opening mail not addressed to you is a federal offense. Stop it now."
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:52:19 PM EDT
My secretary opens all of my mail, but I pay her to do that.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:52:40 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 1:55:14 PM EDT by ttushooter]
Originally Posted By retgarr:
Here's some simple fun.


"Opening mail not addressed to you is a federal offense. Stop it now."


depending on the corporation, they will tell you, "Any piece of mail that is delivered to our property,  is company property.  Do not have personal mail addressed and delivered here.  Failure to comply with this instruction could result in disciplinary action up to and including termination.  Now, Please sign this notice that you have been counseled on this, and it will reside in your personnel file. Press hard, you are making 3 copies."

It all depends on the company's culture.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:54:07 PM EDT
A pic of the receptionist will help us determine her punishment.

Hot = a solid spanking followed by more mail.

Meh = tell her to knock it off.

Ugly = termination on the spot.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:54:35 PM EDT
Originally Posted By JellyBelly:
A pic of the receptionist will help us determine her punishment.

Hot = a solid spanking followed by more mail.

Meh = tell her to knock it off.

Ugly = termination on the spot.


There's your answer.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:55:23 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ttushooter:
Originally Posted By retgarr:
Here's some simple fun.


"Opening mail not addressed to you is a federal offense. Stop it now."


depending on the corporation, they will tell you, "Any piece of mail that is delivered to our property,  is company property.  Do not have personal mail addressed and delivered here.  Failure to do so could result in disciplinary action up to and including termination.  Now, Please sign this notice that you have been counseled on this, and it will reside in your personnel file. Press hard, you are making 3 copies."

It all depends on the company's culture.


yeah, I'm not going into detail, but it's not like that... at all.

Sometimes that's one of the few reasons I still work there
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 1:57:45 PM EDT
Originally Posted By chadwimc:
Surely, you can find an envelope in this site to mail to her...

http://www.thegag.com/gag-gifts-prank-envelopes.html


Hmmm....
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 2:00:04 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/16/2012 2:01:39 PM EDT by ttushooter]
Originally Posted By pilotman:
Originally Posted By ttushooter:
Originally Posted By retgarr:
Here's some simple fun.


"Opening mail not addressed to you is a federal offense. Stop it now."


depending on the corporation, they will tell you, "Any piece of mail that is delivered to our property,  is company property.  Do not have personal mail addressed and delivered here.  Failure to do so could result in disciplinary action up to and including termination.  Now, Please sign this notice that you have been counseled on this, and it will reside in your personnel file. Press hard, you are making 3 copies."

It all depends on the company's culture.


yeah, I'm not going into detail, but it's not like that... at all.

Sometimes that's one of the few reasons I still work there


I understand that completely.  hence why in my first post in this thread 'the auto insurance company I USED to work for"

eta: not that the particular situation happened to me, but I wouldn't be surprised if it actually did happen to someone.
Link Posted: 5/16/2012 2:00:18 PM EDT
Originally Posted By pilotman:
Originally Posted By JellyBelly:
A pic of the receptionist will help us determine her punishment.

Hot = a solid spanking followed by more mail.

Meh = tell her to knock it off.

Ugly = termination on the spot.


There's your answer.


Not so fast. I have some pretty low standards. Are we talking "60 year old lady with facial hair and smells like cat pee" bad? maybe "Overweight but tries to look good/still uses makeup and wears decent clothes" ugly?
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