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Posted: 12/13/2003 8:27:58 PM EDT
Tonight my family found out that my piece of shit sister-in-law is not only using drugs, but manufacturing and selling them out of her home.  This is bad enough, but my eight-year old nephew is along for the ride living with her.  I have suspected this shit for months while my wife and mother-in-law have continued to make excuses.  Well now my nephew, who has off-the-charts ADD (something he actually makes me believe exists) doesn't want to have anything to do with his mother and wants to live with my mother-in-law (dad is out of the picture).  Here is my question, how do we get custody and get him out of the situation?  I could give a shit what happens to my sister-in-law, she can rot in prison for all I care (she's a stupid selfish bitch and about the worst mother I have ever seen).  I just need to know how to go about this the right way so that my nephew doesn't get whisked away into foster care.  I am ready to call silent observer tonight, but am worried that once in the system, it will be hard to get my nephew out.  We have to do something.  The bitch is so brazen about it, claiming that all she has to do is clean up her house and the police will never know...  Drug she's selling (I suspect) is meth.  I am also worried that her shitbag friends might retalliate against our family (my wife babysits the kid after school while I am at work, and I have two small children of my own)  I could also see deployment soon (I'm National Guard) so I want to get this taken care of asap.
Thanks!
Link Posted: 12/13/2003 8:50:05 PM EDT
[#1]
Call DHS (Department of Human Services) in your area, explain the situation, but do so while keeping identities "secret"  If they give you an acceptable solution, then you can meet with them to spill the beans.  They WILL seize the child and remove him from the home.  Getting them to release the child to your relatives is the part of the "soloution " that should have been worked out prior to giving up identities.

OR

If you don't want to involve the local social services people, contact your laywer, tell him what's up and what you are going to do, then just go and take the child.  When the law comes calling, you can tell them to talk to your lawyer and he'll be prepared for it.

either way it's gonna be messy - God bless you brother.
Link Posted: 12/13/2003 10:31:52 PM EDT
[#2]
Foster care would probably be the best thing for the kid to get him out of your disfunctional extended family.
Link Posted: 12/13/2003 10:53:47 PM EDT
[#3]
Maybe discussing it with a family law attorney would help.

Putting kids into foster care is risky, but sometimes can't be helped.  Perhaps some kind of adoption can be arranged.   If he gets into foster care, you will be in the position of convincing the protective agency to allow him to live with grandma.

OTOH, who's to say that living with Granny is the best for him?  Especially if she made excuses for her daughter's illegal sctivity.

'Whatever is in the kid's best interest' is the motto, unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way.



Link Posted: 12/13/2003 11:26:38 PM EDT
[#4]
Buddy,

This is something you don't want to make any mistakes on.

1.  Get a lawyer that specializes in family law (call you local bar for a referral).

2.  Do exactly what he says.

3.  If your going to bat for this kid make damn sure your ready...that means willing to meet with DCFS whenever, go to court, follow the treatment plan etc.

4. And probably there will be some retaliation...But at least the "Court" will be on your side.

5.  Whatever you do don't let them know you have guns in the house...You'll never get custody (keep that on the down low), at least not in this state.  And don't forget to hide the gun mags too!

After my 2nd yr in law school I spent the summer clerking for a Juvenile Court Judge, These kind of deals are horrible on families...good luck.  You need to get the kid away from his mother (but within the law i.e. court ordered placement) and the meth world or I promise you it will be bad in the end.  It has been my experience that with family placement versus foster care the kids do tons better.
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 11:03:04 AM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
Foster care would probably be the best thing for the kid to get him out of your disfunctional extended family.
View Quote


I should state that they aren't making excuses anymore.  Its all out in the open as my sister-in-law is pretty much coming apart at the seams. I am talking to my local LEO liason officer this week, I'll let you know how it goes.
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 11:13:12 AM EDT
[#6]
One thing to remember with clandestine meth labs is chemical contamination.  I'm talking about house, land, and definetly people.  The LE's have dedicated hazmat teams that solely work these.

Get the child out of this atmosphere.  In most states it's a felony to submit a child to this activity.
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 11:24:08 AM EDT
[#7]
I am an attorney in Michigan, but know nothing about family law (I passed the bar years ago, but am sure it was not on the strength of the family law questions). From half drunk conversations at county bar functions with family law lawyers, it seems Michigan really tightened the screws on parents who are scumbags.

A decent record of neglect and drug charges results in getting parental rights yanked, even for mothers, and adoptions approved.

The first step is an appointment with a good family law attorney. In my experience about half in Michigan are good and half are really really bad.

One or two hundred for an hour meeting with a good one would give you a great plan of action to save the kid, as opposed to some crap you read on the web that one of us arfers spouted out -which does not help anyone.

If you are in Mid Michigan give me a IM and I will chat with you about finding some good family law attorneys.
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 11:30:16 AM EDT
[#8]
If she's making meth, get that child out of the area. The chemicals involved in meth manufacturing are highly volatile and explosive!!!
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 11:37:50 AM EDT
[#9]
Some states allow the filing of private dependency (i.e. child removal) petitions. However, you are going to need evidence. If you're sure there's dope in the house, you can offer to babysit Jr. while mom goes pub-crawling and invite the police in for a look. (You have control of the premises, you can consent to a search, unless your state has some screwy idiosyncracies on the issue.)

The best advice so far: (a) contact a family law lawyer FIRST; one familiar with dependency law and (b) contact the local narcotics section. The family lawyer, unless he's a complete idiot, can tell you what you'll need to make sure the cops don't waste their time. You have basically one shot to get the evidence you need to protect the child. [b]I do not advise you to do this[/b] but here, at least, if you could get dope out of mom's house, and you are a solid citizen, the dope plus your statement of its origin would get her an abrupt visit from the folks we so often denigrate here. Even if you do not involve the police, you will need [i]evidence[/i] that her way of life is dangerous to the child. Evidence is what someone [b]who will testify[/b] saw, touched, tasted, or heard come out of [b]mom's[/b] mouth.

If you can't get with a lawyer for whatever reason, an older beat cop can be a valuable source of advice.
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