Have you seen the new Hillary bumper sticker?

It say's "Run Hillary run!"

If you're liberal you put it on your back bumper.

If you're conservative you put it on your front bumper.

I wouldn't put it on anything.

I'd put on a steam roller

Quoted: I wouldn't put it on anything.

I'd put it on a target stand

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

A lovely young redhead enters the doctor's office and says that her entire body hurts -- touching it anywhere results in intense pain.

"That doesn't sound possible," says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her right index finger, pushes her left hand and screams.

She then pushes on her left elbow and cries in agony.

She pushes her right knee and wails; the same thing happens when she pushes her right ankle...

...everywhere she touches results in a scream of pain.

The doctor ponders a moment, then says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"

"Well, no," she admits, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger's broken."

A man, his wife and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land.

While they were there the mother-in-law passed away.  The undertaker told them, "You can either have her shipped
home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 plus funeral expenses to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend only $150.00 total?"

The man replied, "A man died here 2000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

You guy's didn't get it.....  

Quoted: You guy's didn't get it.....

I got it.

Quoted: I'd put on a steam roller

I pity the steam roller

I heard the Olympics committee was making special plans to improve fan safety at the next summer lynipcs by banning Iran from competing.....

after all, can you imagine the uproar if the shiite hit a fan?

No Expert

The US Postal Service has issued a recall of a stamp they created with a picture of Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements while serving as the First Lady of our nation.

The problem was discovered when claims had been made that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes, and that mail which had been sent using the "Hillary" postage was not being delivered. Senator Clinton demanded a full investigation into the allegations.

A special Postal Service Investigation team was formed and after several months and many dollars spent, made the following findings:

*The stamp was manufactured properly.
*There was nothing wrong with the adhesive.
*People were just spitting on the wrong side

One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during
the morning worship hour.  The parents did their best to maintain some
sense of order in the pew, but, were losing the battle.  Finally, the
father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on
his way out.  Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little
one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me!  Pray for me!"



A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it.  I'm having a real good time like I am."



A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way
to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"  One
bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."