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Posted: 5/5/2003 2:06:50 AM EST
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. "Grandson I wanna you lisin to me. I wanna for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead." "You lisin to me, soma day you gonna be runna da bussiness, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple of bambino. Soma day you gonna coma home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man . . . . . Whada you gonna do then? Pointa to da watch and say TIME'S UP?"
Link Posted: 5/5/2003 2:38:36 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/5/2003 2:42:15 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/5/2003 3:10:33 AM EST
The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack. His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support. At night, the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off. Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one. Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive. At 8:55 Mary walks into the office. "I've got a difficult decision" the VP says, "I either have to Lay You or Jack off." "Oh? jack-off," Mary says, "I've got a headache."
Link Posted: 5/5/2003 3:30:06 AM EST
[lolabove] Mohammed, a political refuge from Iraq, came to the United States from Iraq and he was here only a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him. Finally, he went to an Arab doctor. The doctor said, "Take dees bocket, go into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put your head down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes." Mohammed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes. Coming back to the doctor he said, "It worked. I feel terrific! What was wrong with me?" The doctor said, "You were homesick!"
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