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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:47:55 AM EDT
So, how many of you will see Munich this Christmas?

Chinese Food and a Movie: The Jewish Christmas

Christmas time means one thing for Jews across the United States: Chinese food and a movie. This is our way of recognizing the birth of that guy - it's fun, it's tasty and although we might complain about the ever-rising price of movie tickets these days (oy), it's cheaper than all those damn gifts everyone is buying each other. So that's what we do. It's a tradition. Our tradition.

But there's a problem. You see, this is a Jewish tradition. We are an open and accepting people, don't get me wrong. But over the last few years I have seen a lot of non-Jews at both the movies and the Chinese food restaurants on Christmas. At first it was just the Indians and Asians and other various non-Christians. We are an accepting people, as I said above. So occassionally I'll catch a, "get a load of this guy" glance from a fellow Jew as an Indian family walks by to their dinner table, but that's about the extent of it. No one really cares, in fact, I think all Jews are glad that people are discovering that there are other things to do on December 25 besides participate in Christmas.

But you see, the problem is that now the Christians are catching on. After weeks of celebrating their "12 days" and bombarding us with Christmas trees and Christmas carols and Christmas decorations and Christmas cookies (actually, keep the Christmas cookies coming. I've got some Chanukah gelt I could trade you...) these Christians want more. Apparently opening mounds of presents that Santa "brought" only takes a few hours. That leaves most of the day left to, well, eat Chinese food and watch a movie. And as a result, the theatres are packed and the restaurant wait times are getting longer.

And us Jews are getting pissed. We came up with our own thing just so we could stay out of your way. The plan was working fine for decades. Why the sudden change? Well, change it back. You stick to your presents and we'll stick to our Chinese food and a movie. Everyone will be happy. Please? Did I mention I have plenty of Chanukah gelt to offer you?

Link Posted: 12/15/2005 5:56:42 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 5:57:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By shotar:
It was that whole chinese restaraunt scene from Christmas story. Once that was broadcast, the good times were over.



I love that scene!!!!!!
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 6:03:32 AM EDT
Why the change?? Its a backlash from the commercialization of the X-mas. People are getting fed up, with the whole season. Chinese food and a movie sound more like a way to celebrate wit the family, in the spirit of the holidays. Than going in debt or selling your guns just so you can get some brat there xbox360.. This is NOT what the holidays are about!

I recommend that everyone spend the holidays in Europe! Just one season and you will know the real reason for the season!

Chanukah gelt? Is that chocolate money?
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 6:22:31 AM EDT
I agree about the commercialization of the x-mas. We are christians but we do not "celebrate" Christmas like others (giving gifts, card, trees, Santa, etc.)

Chinese food. Yum. I think I will plan that this year.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 6:28:59 AM EDT
Our family tradition of Chinese food on Christmas Eve has been in effect for better than 25 years.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 6:31:51 AM EDT
Just started thinking about food, Mmmmmmmmmmmm fruit cake
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 6:40:32 AM EDT
I think I will serve gfilte fish and knish for Christmas this year.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 6:48:15 AM EDT
Man, I hate it when non-believers try to take over ancient & honored traditions. I bet the mushu pork tastes like ashes in your mouth when you see a Baptist in the buffet line on the 25th. On behalf of my people, I apologize.

Link Posted: 12/15/2005 6:53:38 AM EDT
Praise the Lord and pass the matza crackers.

-James
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 11:51:21 AM EDT
Originally Posted By FLAL1A:
Man, I hate it when non-believers try to take over ancient & honored traditions.

Me too!

I bet the mushu pork tastes like ashes in your mouth when you see a Baptist in the buffet line on the 25th.

Kosher Chinese Restaurant, so no pork.

I would not know a Baptist from any other Goy, you all look alike to me.

On behalf of my people, I apologize.

Apology accepted.

Link Posted: 12/15/2005 11:57:54 AM EDT
I like Bette Midlers quip that for almost a thousand years, Jews had no place to dine out on Shabbos.....
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 12:10:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 0ldGuy:
So, how many of you will see Munich this Christmas? NO THANKS!
Chinese Food and a Movie: The Jewish Christmas

Christmas time means one thing for Jews across the United States: Chinese food and a movie.

But there's a problem. You see, this is a Jewish tradition. Who cares? We are an open and accepting people, don't get me wrong. But over the last few years I have seen a lot of non-Jews at both the movies and the Chinese food restaurants on Christmas. At first it was just the Indians and Asians and other various non-Christians. We are an accepting people, as I said above. So occassionally I'll catch a, "get a load of this guy" glance from a fellow Jew as an Indian family walks by to their dinner table, but that's about the extent of it. No one really cares, in fact, I think all Jews are glad that people are discovering that there are other things to do on December 25 besides participate in Christmas. Once again who cares?

But you see, the problem is that now the Christians are catching on. After weeks of celebrating their "12 days" and bombarding us with Christmas trees and Christmas carols and Christmas decorations and Christmas cookies (actually, keep the Christmas cookies coming. I've got some Chanukah gelt I could trade you...) these Christians want more. Apparently opening mounds of presents that Santa "brought" only takes a few hours. That leaves most of the day left to, well, eat Chinese food and watch a movie. And as a result, the theatres are packed and the restaurant wait times are getting longer.

And us Jews are getting pissed. We came up with our own thing just so we could stay out of your way. The plan was working fine for decades. Why the sudden change? Well, change it back. You stick to your presents and we'll stick to our Chinese food and a movie. Everyone will be happy. Please? Did I mention I have plenty of Chanukah gelt to offer you?

What a bunch of drivel. I for one celebrate the BIRTH OF CHRIST! The gifts and the commercialization have nothing to do with Christmas. As for your complaints about Christmas?
We are the ones who get BOMBARDED all year about Jewish holidays, Israels problems, the non-stop "persecution" of people of the Jewish faith...give it a rest already. Oh YA...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!



Link Posted: 12/15/2005 12:29:49 PM EDT
I don't see a lot of movies (at the theaters, anyway), but "Munich" is one I'd like to see. As long as they stay pretty close to the actual, historical record.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 12:59:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 0ldGuy:
Originally Posted By FLAL1A:

I bet the mushu pork tastes like ashes in your mouth when you see a Baptist in the buffet line on the 25th.

Kosher Chinese Restaurant, so no pork.




Hey, relax. It's Chinese, so it doesn't count.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 1:40:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Javak:

Originally Posted By 0ldGuy:
Originally Posted By FLAL1A:

I bet the mushu pork tastes like ashes in your mouth when you see a Baptist in the buffet line on the 25th.

Kosher Chinese Restaurant, so no pork.




Hey, relax. It's Chinese, so it doesn't count.




It does count, look what eating swine has done for 1GunnerHogan1
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 2:09:13 PM EDT
If you celebrate the birth of the Christ child or not Christmas is also the season of giving, a time to give to the poor and the homeless, a time to feed the hungry. I am sure God whom both Jews and Christians believe in would not smite thee for doing so. The spirit of giving is what my savior would want me to show the world what he was about,and on a personal note-Happy Bithday Jesus you the man! Merry Christmas!
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 2:13:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By shotar:
It was that whole chinese restaraunt scene from Christmas story. Once that was broadcast, the good times were over.



Fah rah rah rah rah rahhhh. Well if the damn dogs didn't eat the turkey they wouldn't have gone there lol. Remember the scene where the mother beats the living crap out of her son over the phone because she thought he said "fudge"?
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 2:26:36 PM EDT
We always had our Jewish neighbors over for Christmas dinner.
They would have us over for some of their celebrations...

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