An American, a Dutchman and a Frenchman are all in Saudi Arabia,
sharing
a
smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and
arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in
Saudi
Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming
the
booze, they are all sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they
are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life
imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their
trial
finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be
released
after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced:
"It's
my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of
you
one wish before your whipping."

The Dutchman was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:
"Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip
went
through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away
bleeding
and
crying with pain. The Frenchman was next up.

After watching the Dutchman in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two
pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes
before
the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away
whimpering
loudly (as they do).

The American was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the
Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of
the
world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you
may
have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", the American
replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not
20,
but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also
very brave". The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100
lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And your second wish, what
is
it
to be?" the Sheikh asked.

The American replied: "Tie the Frenchman to my back."




SlackO

STOP!!!   I already heard it.

Me too but its still good for a laugh

Good joke.  Here's the ugly reality of Saudi justice.

[b]Britons 'were tortured' into confessions of turf war murder[/b]

By Daniel McGrory and Michael Theodoulou

Militants linked to al-Qaeda may have been behind attacks in Saudi Arabia

WHEN Christopher Rodway was killed by a bomb planted under his car outside his home in Riyadh in November 2000, the Saudi authorities were quick to blame his friends and colleagues.
They rounded up some of the British engineer’s fellow workers at the military hospital in Riyadh and accused them of fighting a turf war over who controlled the lucrative traffic in alcohol into the kingdom. Mr Rodway’s family denied such claims, but the Saudis refused to listen.

Days later, David Brown, another Briton working in the kingdom, was blinded when a bomb was left on his car windscreen.

Mr Brown, who worked for a soft drinks firm, challenges the Saudi version of events that British bootleggers and smugglers were to blame for what happened to him, believing that Islamic militants with links to al-Qaeda were behind the spate of attacks on Westerners.

Privately, British diplomats think the same, but would never dare risk saying so publicly for fear of upsetting the Saudi Government.

Last week the strongest warning yet was sent to Britons still living in the kingdom of evidence that terrorists were plotting attacks on Westerners. Hours later George Papes, an American civilian contractor working at a naval base, was injured in a gun attack. The Saudis have never explained why the attacks on Westerners, including the murder of Simon Veness, a British banker, in a bombing in June 2002, have continued long after the supposed ringleaders of this turf war were put behind bars.

The first bombings in Riyadh took place long before many people in the West had heard of Osama bin Laden or al-Qaeda. Even after the link between Saudi citizens and al-Qaeda was proved by the events of September 11, 2001, when 15 of the 19 men who hijacked aircraft used in attacks on New York and Washington were Saudi passport-holders, the authorities in Riyadh refused to change their minds about who was behind the attacks in their cities.

Scotland Yard detectives allowed to examine the evidence also cast serious doubts on the investigation. Even so, the accused Britons were paraded one by one on Saudi television, where they were seen confessing their supposed part in the bombings.

Sandy Mitchell, an anaesthetics technician from Glasgow, and William Sampson, a scientist who holds both British and Canadian passports, were seen describing their part in the murder of Mr Rodway. They face being beheaded in public. Since their carefully staged public confessions in 2001, however, both have said that they were beaten into making the admissions.

A number of other Britons held as part of the alleged bombing ring have since described how they, too, were tortured into making similar false confessions. They told of being forced to stand for hours at a time, blindfolded, and whipped on the legs and back.

Paul Moss said that his captors dragged him on to the prison roof after he had refused to sign his confession and threatened to throw him off. They said they would claim that he had been killed trying to escape. “I said goodbye to my wife and four-week-old son. I thought ‘this is it, this is the day I will die in the strangest way possible’. The guards shouted at me for some time and said I must tell them everything. I agreed through my sobs and shaking. They gave me a good beating for good measure,” he said.

Mr Moss has since been released and now lives in Australia.

Campaigners led by families and friends of the men complained that the Foreign Office was reluctant to cause a diplomatic rupture with such a valuable ally to fight for the men’s release.

Groups such as Amnesty International petitioned Tony Blair, complaining that the men were not given fair trials. No evidence was presented to the Sharia court, no witnesses were called, but as well as the two death sentences handed out, James Lee, James Cottle, Les Walker and Peter Brandon were jailed for the bombings. Another Briton, Glen Ballard, is awaiting trial.

The Saudis had also sentenced Gary O’Nions, another British businessmen, to eight years and 800 lashes and named him as being the “Mr Big” of the kingdom’s illicit drugs trade. British troops preparing to fight in the 1991 Gulf War helped him to build his illegal pub.Mr O’Nions, who was released yesterday, never denied that he ran an illicit drinking club, but he described as “stupid nonsense” the suggestion that he or the other Britons were involved in terrorism.

[url]http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-673425,00.html[/url]