A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch.   Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.  As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.  He said "How bad is it doc? ... I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance  is still a virgin.  

"The doctor told him,"I'll have to put your Willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight.  It should be okay next week."  He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; an impressive work of art.  

The guy mentions none of this to his fiance.  They marry as planned and go on their honeymoon.  That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts.   She said, "You're the first; no one has EVER touched these

He immediately drops his pants and replies, "Look at this...still in the CRATE!"