Posted: 2/17/2005 7:32:24 AM EDT
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A dog walks into a saloon with one leg in bandages. The barman asks "What can I do for ya pardner", the dog replies "I'm lookin for the man who shot ma paw". |
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Two young boys are close friends and remain friends as they grow up. One of them becomes a businessman and the other becomes a doctor. Each year, the businessman visits his friend the doctor for a checkup. One year, the doctor asks the businessman if he feels okay. The businessman replies that he feels good. The doctor replies that he looks bad and there must be something wrong. He asks the businessman to come in once a week for a different series of tests. After three months of testing for heart disease, diabetes, liver problems, etc. the doctor says he can't find anything wrong. The businessman says, "Well, I feel good" but the doctor replies, "Well, you look bad." The busineesman goes to work the next day and is talking about his mysterious condition with his co-workers. "The doc says I look bad but I feel good," he says. A Chinese co-worker says "I have good doctor friend. He know ancient Chinese medicine. Maybe he help you." So the businessman makes an appointment to see the Chinese doctor. The Chines doctor sees him and says "Okay, what your probrem?" The businessman says, "I feel good but I look bad." "Aaahsooo," says the doctor. "Feel good, look bad. I think old Chinese medicine book talk about that." So, the Chinese doctor goes to a dusty old shelf holding old Chinese medical books, pulls one off the shelf, and begins flipping through it. He comes to the part entitled "look good, feel good" and says "That not you." He comes to the part entitled "Look bad, feel bad" and says "That not you." Then he comes to the part entitled "Look bad, feel good," says "Okay, that you" and reads for a minute. The Chinese doctor then turns to the businessman and says "Say here, you a vagina." |
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A couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about an African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When males reach a certain age, a string is tied around the penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches. Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked down at him and said, "How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?" The husband agreed and they tied a string and weight to his penis. A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal experiment coming along?" "Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied. "Wow, you've grown to 12 inches??" "No...but it is turning black." |