[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Is it cheating? (Page 1 of 6)
Posted: 1/24/2014 9:05:06 PM EDT
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I have been working on this project at work, and I travel often, I meet Marissa, just as a colleague, so we have been spending time working together, chat about interest, hobbies, and have lunch a few times. But I was shocked on how much we had in common and "clicked" and are very comfortable together.
Not that I was looking to date her or anything, as I have a GF. I wish my GF were more like Marissa. You guys ever in a relationship, and meet someone that you were attracted to? On pure physical attractiveness my GF is better looking with better face and body, Marissa is not in the best of shape. I only see Marissa at work, no text messages, or anything like that, we have lunch and take breaks together. You know when you look at a woman and your eyes meet, and you just know when you look at each other for that period of time that is only a few moments when you both know. Shit, I feel like I am cheating, when my mind is cheating. |
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No I would not, GF is a very jealous type. No I have never cheated on her, but I get caught looking at big titts and ass. Quoted:
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Would You tell Your GF about Her and the lunch meetings / breaks? Would You hide Her? No I would not, GF is a very jealous type. No I have never cheated on her, but I get caught looking at big titts and ass. Do you lie to her about Marissa? |
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I bet you Marissa would let you take it out of her ass and put it in her mouth. I bet she's a freak in bed. I'm not helping you am I? No, I like talking with her, and look forward to seeing her, not really sexual. No I don't have any women friends, last time I had a female friend we had sex and were not friends anymore, I guess I am no good in the sack. 
I must be getting bored of the GF. |
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You already know the answer. That's exactly how cheating begins, 90+% of the time. It's a good thing your S.O. is just a girlfriend. Agreed. And keep in mind - you're seeing work ho at the best of times - all dolled up for work, possibly flirting with a new man. It's new and fun and exhilarating. But in a year she'll be in her sweats eating dorritos on the couch and bitching that you forgot your first-ever-lunch-meeting anniversary. My Dad gave me great advice once: No matter how attractive or interesting a woman is, someone is sick and tired of her shit. |
I am not answering.
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in Arnold voice "its not cheatin if its only eatin" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkHINiEWc2k |
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It doesn't read like you have cheated, as of yet.
Of course, your GF may have a different opinion. The fact you are asking about it shows you already know what direction things are going in. If you don't want to be a cheater, then don't cheat. Either end it with your co-worker, or break up with your GF. |
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Were you happy with the GF before this coworker came along?
I'd tend to agree with the guy who said that the coworker looks like a good bet, because she's at her best at work. How much do you really know about her? If you think you're feeling that things are getting stale with GF, then either work on fixing it or break up with her. Do it because of how you feel (or don't feel) about GF, not because of coworker. The coworker may not work out at all. |
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Wherever your head takes you (big or little one), remember the adage of not shitting where you eat, co-workers are a big no no. I would ditch the current one though if you don't have anything in common. I made the mistake of having relationships based entirely on physical attraction, they end all too quickly, and never amicably. Someone is going to get hurt OP, unless you make up your mind. Someone will probably get hurt anyway, but don't prolong the suffering. |
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Quoted:
I have been working on this project at work, and I travel often, I meet Marissa, just as a colleague, so we have been spending time working together, chat about interest, hobbies, and have lunch a few times. But I was shocked on how much we had in common and "clicked" and are very comfortable together. Not that I was looking to date her or anything, as I have a GF. I wish my GF were more like Marissa. You guys ever in a relationship, and meet someone that you were attracted to? On pure physical attractiveness my GF is better looking with better face and body, Marissa is not in the best of shape. I only see Marissa at work, no text messages, or anything like that, we have lunch and take breaks together. You know when you look at a woman and your eyes meet, and you just know when you look at each other for that period of time that is only a few moments when you both know. Shit, I feel like I am cheating, when my mind is cheating. Bodies can be changed, largely personalities can't. With that because you only see new girl around work, you are seeing her at her best since its a professional setting. Her worst may not be worth what current GF offers in same circumstances of her "worst." |
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A new girl is always exciting- kind of how you felt about your gf in the beginning. It's called infatuation and it is fun. The problem is that it doesn't last. You've heard the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side"? That's because there are weeds over there too. Don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head. You also should not play games with people you work with. Your gf has already showed she is interested enough in you to stick around, so either stay loyal to her or end it, but don't end it just to check out the new girl. That never works out like you plan. |
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Wherever your head takes you (big or little one), remember the adage of not shitting where you eat, co-workers are a big no no. I would ditch the current one though if you don't have anything in common. I made the mistake of having relationships based entirely on physical attraction, they end all too quickly, and never amicably. Someone is going to get hurt OP, unless you make up your mind. Someone will probably get hurt anyway, but don't prolong the suffering. We don't work in the same location, just cross paths now and then on projects. But its just me being bored and excited meeting a woman that I have something in common with. Why can't this happen the 99.9% of the time when I cant find women to give me the time of day. |
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You are not cheating on your girlfriend but you are playing with fire. I really recommend you take time deciding what you want. It's not fair to either woman to be on the fence and want a combination of the two. No woman will be perfect and there will always be a better one. The only thing you have control over is how you behave, what your moral integrity means and how you respect those who are important to you. |
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We don't work in the same location, just cross paths now and then on projects. But its just me being bored and excited meeting a woman that I have something in common with. Why can't this happen the 99.9% of the time when I cant find women to give me the time of day. Quoted:
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Wherever your head takes you (big or little one), remember the adage of not shitting where you eat, co-workers are a big no no. I would ditch the current one though if you don't have anything in common. I made the mistake of having relationships based entirely on physical attraction, they end all too quickly, and never amicably. Someone is going to get hurt OP, unless you make up your mind. Someone will probably get hurt anyway, but don't prolong the suffering. We don't work in the same location, just cross paths now and then on projects. But its just me being bored and excited meeting a woman that I have something in common with. Why can't this happen the 99.9% of the time when I cant find women to give me the time of day. So little or nothing in common with the GF besides sex? Would you do Marissa if you weren't involved? If you have so much in common, shared interests, think about this... 99% of the rest of your life doesn't involve fucking. Being able to talk to someone and relate to them is kind of a big deal. |
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Cheating isn't always sex. Or even anything tangible. Battlefield of the mind. Emotional affairs can be just as damaging. Just be sure to take every thought captive. Wishing your girlfriend was more like her is a step in the wrong direction IMHO. Don't allow comparisons. One women is a co worker, the other is your girlfriend. Keep the relationships what they should be and you'll be fine. |