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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 2/13/2006 6:32:48 AM EST
...A few facts about Burt Reynolds.

-In the Torah, 'Adam' is just a misspelling of 'Burt.'

-Burt Reynolds Day stems from the first known religion, Burtism.

-Like Samson, Burt Reynolds derives his power from his mustache. However, if his mustache is removed, he doesn't lose his powers, because Burt Reynolds' mustache is more of a state of mind.

-Burt Reynolds once went up against Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Vin Diesel, Bruce Willis, and a Corvette Z06 in a cage match. It was July 16, 1945, near Alamogordo, NM.

-Burt Reynolds' mustache hairs are known to cure cancer; however, no other humans can handle the power of his mustache without dying, so he thoughtfully has not allowed trials by the FDA.

-Every year, Burt Reynolds takes a child with leukemia along with him to shoot a gay hillbilly through with an arrow. It doesn't cure the child, but it sure makes the kid feel better.

-Burt Reynolds has won every presidential election since 1788. However, he always decides to concede the election to the second-place candidate, because he already has enough influence.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 6:36:11 AM EST
everybody is just trying too hard...
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 6:43:03 AM EST
Steve McQueen could kick Burt's ass!

(yes... I know Steve McQueen is dead)
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 6:44:16 AM EST
But with just one bite from the walking dead... he's a target for the mall dwellers.

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