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Posted: 1/27/2009 7:58:49 AM EST
I hope this is a dupe so it gives the dupe police a reason to go on living.


"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

   "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
   "A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

   "Q. Where will the government get this money?
   "A. From taxpayers.

   "Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
   "A. No, they are borrowing it from China .  You children are expected to repay the Chinese.

   "Q. Wha t is the purpose of this payment?
   "A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

   "Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
   "A.  Shut up."


   Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

   If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .

   If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda

   If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan .

   If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

   If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea .

   If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
         
   If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
   If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria .

   And none of it will help the American economy.

   We need to keep that money here in America . You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or  tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:38:51 AM EST
Don't forget to spend it on guns and ammo.
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:40:35 AM EST
Quoted:
Don't forget to spend it on guns and ammo.


Winner
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:42:08 AM EST
So, what if a hooker is watching my hi def TV?



Divide by zero?



Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:43:22 AM EST
Quoted:
Don't forget to spend it on guns and ammo.


Bushmaster and Lake City FTW.  

Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:43:37 AM EST
Quoted:
Quoted:
Don't forget to spend it on guns and ammo.


Winner


+1
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:44:48 AM EST
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:48:22 AM EST
very little of what is written in that is true, buying things at walmart stimulates the us economy just fine. Walmart is an American company employing Americans and using American transport and distribution networks.

that whole email is pretty retarded.
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:52:35 AM EST
Aw.....it's dumb.

My bad.
I forgot that General Discussion was the place to discuss high brow topics of great importance to mankind. Deep highly technical stuff. Particle Physics. Nanotechnology. Gene slicing.
Stuff like that.

That way it is Intellectually challenging for all the people who don't want to talk about chicks, drinking, tattoos...................................... like you two. The real brains of the outfit.
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:53:32 AM EST
Quoted:
So, what if a hooker is watching my hi def TV?

Divide by zero?


I like the way you think. As long as she's not a chinese hooker doing blow from columbia.
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:55:44 AM EST
Quoted:
. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or  tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.


WOO HOO!

I'm a patriot baby! YEAH!
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:58:38 AM EST
Quoted:
So, what if a hooker is watching my hi def TV?

Divide by zero?


Dude, if she's watching you damn TV...yur doin it wrong.



Link Posted: 1/27/2009 9:59:53 AM EST
Quoted:
Quoted:
So, what if a hooker is watching my hi def TV?

Divide by zero?


Dude, if she's watching you damn TV...yur doin it wrong.





Who cares what she is doing.
All that matters is what you are doing..........to her.
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 10:01:20 AM EST
Quoted:
Aw.....it's dumb.

My bad.
I forgot that General Discussion was the place to discuss high brow topics of great importance to mankind. Deep highly technical stuff. Particle Physics. Nanotechnology Stuff like that.

That way it is Intellectually challenging for all the people who don't want to talk about chicks, drinking, tattoos...................................... like you two. The real brains of the outfit.


I want to talk about chicks and tattoos! What I REALLY want to talk about is chicks WITH tattoos!
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 10:21:31 AM EST
I like the good old days when if you needed a Dutchman, you'd just get one from New York.  Now you have to get them from overseas.
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 10:22:29 AM EST
they're giving people another "stimulus" check?
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 10:25:44 AM EST
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 3:50:41 PM EST
I didn't write it.
And it is a goofy chain email.

But, it was intended to be a joke. I thought it was funny and posted it. Nobody ever claimed that it was supposed to be some kind of factural information and I don't really think it has to be in this forum ?
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 4:00:06 PM EST
Quoted:
Quoted:
Don't forget to spend it on guns and ammo.


Winner


Chicken DINNAR!
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 4:01:42 PM EST
But isn't everything in GD the facts?
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 4:02:32 PM EST
nothing like having the non-existent grandkids buy me a new trigger and some ammo
Link Posted: 1/27/2009 4:05:49 PM EST
hookers and blow ...  gunz.  
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