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Posted: 3/31/2001 6:33:39 PM EDT
SteyrAUG Senior Member US 347 Posts Posted - 03/31/2001 : 21:47:55 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally Posted By DizzyRooster: SteyrAUG for President !!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would need a cabinet. Any volunteers? I think: McUzi for Dept. Of Chicks with questionable morals. Imbroglio for Dept. Of You talkin' ta me? HKocher for Dept. Of setting SW/S&Ws Ass Straight. Garandman for Dept. Of Firearm Imports. MissMagnum for Department Of Feminist Ideals. Gunluvr for Department Of Monitoring Jesse Jackson. Any others? We will need a: Division of Porn Division of Firearms Distribution Division of Limiting French Influence Division of Selling NATO/UN assests Division of getting Bill Clinton better chicks Division of getting Hillary Clinton better chicks Division of finding out if Janet Reno is really a chick Division of deporting A**holes who f**k with the works Division of Getting all the hot chicks from Scandanavia to come here. Division of getting ALL fat lesbian hippy chicks to go to France. The ONLY socialist program we must ALL support, Friday is Free Pizza night. ar-snpr Junior Member WY, US 22 Posts Posted - 03/31/2001 : 21:59:14 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nice guns you've there. Looks like a Maadi AK you have in front. So many guns, so little time to accumulate. 007 Member WA, US 102 Posts Posted - 03/31/2001 : 22:20:05 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally Posted By DizzyRooster: SteyrAUG for President !!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He's got my vote! There's enough porn there for the whole cabinet! SteyrAUG Senior Member US 347 Posts Posted - 03/31/2001 : 22:26:02 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Get your own porn, these are mine. Seriously, we would stockpile porn in such quantity we would have to build an addition to the national archive. In fact the first order of business, would be to confine California efforts solely to porn production. And in the Democratic spirit, it would be provided the the rest of the US for free. This would be their only form of income for the next four years. Then when they realize communism/socialism/democrats suck, they would be allowed to pursue capitalism again.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 6:41:49 PM EDT
Well you still got my vote even if you won't share your porn...........pages are probably all stuck together anyway!........you pull one out of its spot on the shelf and the whole collection comes out with it hahahahaha! [;)]
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 6:44:30 PM EDT
If I were President: Every American would be allowed to punch Bill Clinton once in the shoulder really hard. Attractive clothes for women would only be available in size 12 or smaller. Drunks would get to drive Ted Kennedy around town. Anyone who every supported firearm legislation would be forced to live in south cental LA unarmed. Pizza would be free after Midnight and all day on Friday. Professional athletes would earn $25.00 an hour. It would be illegal to be French, unless you are a hot female. ATF would be disbanned and agents would be forced to work at car washes. The IRS would be disbanned and agents will be forced to work at toll booths and count every dime. Politicians would make no more than a school teacher, police officer or paramedic. Including myself. NO EXCEPTIONS. Anyone who suggest limits of freedoms guarenteed in the Bill of Rights will lose theirs. Many more to come.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 6:58:19 PM EDT
If you'll support nationwide CCW for 18-20 year olds, I'm in! Dept. of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, I make sure everybody in our administration has enough! You could also have me monitor the Mall Ninja, and make me the Secretary of Steak. Also, Dept of finding Imbrog|io a woman and some better guns. Perhaps someone whom you have already picked for your cabinet will speak for me? HKocher? Anybody?
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:02:16 PM EDT
Politicians would make no more than a school teacher, police officer or paramedic. Including myself. NO EXCEPTIONS. Anyone who suggest limits of freedoms guarenteed in the Bill of Rights will lose theirs.
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By the way, these two would do it, and I actually believe you'd stick to it.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:06:07 PM EDT
Originally Posted By dnra: Hopefully like in Switzerland you'd supply every able bodied/household a FA something![:D]
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"a FA something", just one? What the hell kind of trecherous heresey is this? DO YOU BELIEVE A CITIZEN IS SUFFICIENTLY ARMED WITH A SINGLE FA ASSAULT RIFLE??? WELL DO YOU???ARE YOU FROM HCI??? DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY PUNK!!!! THEN BACK UP YOUR F**KIN' TRUCK, RECEIVE YOUR MANDATORY TWENTY FIREARMS AND 50,000 ROUNDS OF AMMO AND NEVER ANGER ME AGAIN. Godddamn liberals.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:16:42 PM EDT
1)A national sales tax of 15% would take the place of the income tax, and the federal exise taxes on ammo and guns would be eliminated. 2)Lawsuits against gun makers would be illegal. 3)National CCW It would be nice if the lawsuit ban gets passed. It is illegal in Colorado.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:21:37 PM EDT
I would like to be considered for the position of Director of Porn in your Administration. Qualifications? When I'm surfing the poonbeat-forums.com, I'm known by the name of... [size=4]'Eric the Hun[red]g[/red]'[/size=4] Eric The Hun
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:24:28 PM EDT
hey AUG ... the pentagon is a cool building ... I was thinking something along the lines of a combination strip club & indoor gunrange ... change the name to something a little more politically correct for your new administration ... cuntngun ... ahhhhh....nahhhh.[}:D]
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:27:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2001 7:28:44 PM EDT by SteyrAUG]
Originally Posted By SS109: 1)A national sales tax of 15% would take the place of the income tax, and the federal exise taxes on ammo and guns would be eliminated. 2)Lawsuits against gun makers would be illegal. 3)National CCW It would be nice if the lawsuit ban gets passed. It is illegal in Colorado.
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SS109, You will NOT be a member of my cabinet. 1. There would be NO SALES TAX. Other countries would pay tariffs and taxes for the opportunity to sell their good here and buy our goods. 2. Lawsuits against manufacturers who do not keep customer needs in mind would be VERY LEGAL. Smith & Wesson, Special Weapons and other "problem" manufacturers would have some hefty fines to pay. 3. National CCW would not be necessary. Any citizen of any state may carry weapons for any purpose. The permit is 225 years old. In the future do not declare legislation on my behalf. Please feel free to offer ideas, I just feel you are so used to catering to liberal demands that you are somewhat compromised. If I was President, it would not be a consideration.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:30:35 PM EDT
If I were President, every citizen over the age of 14 would have to kill their own food at least ONCE. This way they understand the concept.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:36:23 PM EDT
Originally Posted By SteyrAUG: If I were President, every citizen over the age of 14 would have to kill their own food at least ONCE. This way they understand the concept.
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Sounds good, I'd go for it. People need to do that, otherwise they don't fully understand life I think. So, C'mon man, do I need a character reference to proclaim me worthy, or what? How do I get into your administration? Who will declare me worthy? Anybody? C'mon! Juggernaut
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:40:33 PM EDT
Hey SteyrAug, you'll never make it. You make to much damn sense.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:45:06 PM EDT
Nahh,juggernaut will just play command & conquer all day.[;)].......whats your name on westwood?
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:51:18 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 007: Nahh,juggernaut will just play command & conquer all day.[;)].......whats your name on westwood?
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I'm ashamed to say that the last time I was on westwood was to play RECOIL! I don't have time to play C&C anymore, and I haven't bought the full version of halflife yet. 'Bout all I've got is Delta Force.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:56:41 PM EDT
I would like to apply for: Division of deporting A**holes who f**k with the works. My platform would be: A launch platform with the latest MAGLEV technologies so that when idiots plan to F*ck with the W*rks they would find themselves in low Earth orbit enroute to their Deportation destination. And for [I]REALLY[/I] F'd up idiots the second tier platform would launch downrange where true patriots could pay good money to fire official government owned ordnance at the projectile! Also I pledge to lobby for .50 Cal firing ranges in every town where every student who is of driving age would be offered the chance to squeeze of a coupla hundred! These .50 Cal ranges would be contained on FED land and accessible to everyone for a price of ten bucks for 8 hrs. to fire any of your own weapons plus rental of our 50's! Thanks you and God Bless America! [rail]Railgun....
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:01:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2001 8:03:01 PM EDT by SteyrAUG]
Originally Posted By t rex: Hey SteyrAug, you'll never make it. You make to much damn sense.
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When I am President, this kind of thinking will be a punishable offense. Juggernaut, you are hereby appointed to Division of Finding a Goddamn Good Solition To Problems. Railgun, you're hired. Start here.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:06:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2001 8:11:09 PM EDT by Juggernaut]
Three bags full sir, and what's the first problem to be dealt with, Imbroglio's womenz, or Janet Reno? or a first martini which tastes as good as the second? or caseless ammo in the shape of 5.56, just fire and forget the cases? or a solution to ingrown toenails? or bringing back Thermold D&D? or building a new wing for the "contemporary art library"? or a way to keep parachute cord from unravelling? or a solution for whiney liberals? What'll it be?
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:07:23 PM EDT
I will not seek, nor will I accept my nomination for any office, unless there is poontang involved!
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:12:36 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2001 8:20:28 PM EDT by Railgun]
Yessir... System technologies are in rapid design phase: [img]http://www.memagazine.org/backissues/february2000/features/birds/66.gif[/img] [url]http://www.memagazine.org/backissues/february2000/features/birds/birds.html[/url] [img]http://www.boeing.com/defense-space/missiles/ordnance/images/85-5568.jpg[/img] [img]http://www.boeing.com/defense-space/missiles/ordnance/images/27mmgun02.jpg[/img] I recommend the installation of either of these two fine "Training" weapons on quality system mounts for dual operator seating and firing. All this to promote "Quality Time" for Father and Son outings...on FED held LAND of course. Price??? 50 bucks for 5 hours! [rail]Railgun....
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:15:29 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2001 9:03:33 PM EDT by Ulysse_Nardin_1846]
Originally Posted By SteyrAUG: If I were President: Attractive clothes for women would only be available in size 12 or smaller.
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Attractive clothes for [b]attractive[/b] woman would only be available in size 12 or smaller. Sorry, I felt it had to be clarified Mr. PreZ. Wouldn't want to see Billary in 12 or less. I would like to be appointed DOE chief. That way I can play with the DOE shorty M16 9mm. Or the newly formed Department of Whales. Any ship found to be in violation of the mandatory whale treaty will get a Harpoon ASM up their rear.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:42:57 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:46:22 PM EDT
Ya get my vote 2.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:48:51 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2001 8:56:56 PM EDT by Southern_Rising]
I'd like to apply for Secretary of Redneck Relations. I've got plenty of them!! [BD]
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:50:27 PM EDT
BTT
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:14:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By tattoo: i would give every one a chanch to shoot kliton
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I was originally against cloning of humans, but you may have something here. Also, the specimen in question is subhuman scum.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:16:59 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:17:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2001 9:20:08 PM EDT by SteyrAUG]
Back on the boards, had to tend to the girlfriend, she is now asleep. Railgun, can we find something MORE effective? This will do for now. I need six forward mounted on a Blackhawk. They take time to recharge you know. Imbroglio, oral sex competency will be a valid job requirement for ALL female interns. Juggernaut, drag Janets ass into the parking lot and put one .45 round into the back of her head. Then find something else to do. Eric the Hung, is my new Porn Commisar. If Kali porn production falls behind, execute Diane Feinstein. Timeport, as punishment for your visual image crime you will be strapped to a chair inside the Oprah Winfrey Strip Club fot 24 hours. Do not do that crap again. If you survive you get a free M4 as compensation, do the right thing, shoot Oprah. Tattoo, Director Of Firearm divsion will be chosen by random lottery, the only fair method. Bill does not deserve to die. By not sleeping with Hillary he has shown a capacity for good judgement. We will evaluate him after re education. Southern Rising, you're hired. Get that flag back up there and make sure my "southern" office is staffed by interns in daisy dukes and well stocked with moon pies. DK-Prof, done. You will need an assistant, take McUzi. As you are traveling in foreign lands MP5-PDWs must be carried at ALL TIMES, with a minimum of 75 rounds. No aruging on this one.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:19:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2001 9:27:18 PM EDT by DK-Prof]
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:22:50 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DK-Prof: Actually, I'm surprised that your first act wouldn't be to exile your friend Todd to permanent exile in France (unless you can think of an even more cruel punishment to inflict upon a human). [:D]
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My punishment will be servere. I will import all H&K models, including current ones in development, from Germany and allow them to be sold at African retail prices.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:31:21 PM EDT
I will now address the issues of Democrats: Reparations for slavery - any US citizen who has personally been subject to legal slavery will be entitled to compensation. Affirmative Action - Will be illegal due to it's conflict with the civil right act. Hate Groups - Any organization whose sole purpose is the destruction of other citizens based upon race will be banned. The NAACP will be closed immediately and aggressive members prosecuted. Same sex weddings - NO Lesbianism - Any female may engage in sex with another female, if they get the express permission from no less than 10 heterosexual males. Male Homosexuality - Will remain legal in France. Socialised Medicine - Will in fact be a US policy. Every American will get free health care. It will be paid for by Canada. Illegal Immigration - Will get you deported to France. Hillary Clinton - Will still be shot. The last election - Will be officially endorsed by Hillary before her execution. More to come.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:34:19 PM EDT
Hey, hire me for something, I'll bring Miss Pussy Galore![:D]
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:48:08 PM EDT
Originally Posted By SteyrAUG: I will now address the issues of Democrats: Reparations for slavery - any US citizen who has personally been subject to legal slavery will be entitled to compensation. Affirmative Action - Will be illegal due to it's conflict with the civil right act. Hate Groups - Any organization whose sole purpose is the destruction of other citizens based upon race will be banned. The NAACP will be closed immediately and aggressive members prosecuted. Same sex weddings - NO Lesbianism - Any female may engage in sex with another female, if they get the express permission from no less than 10 heterosexual males. Male Homosexuality - Will remain legal in France. Socialised Medicine - Will in fact be a US policy. Every American will get free health care. It will be paid for by Canada. Illegal Immigration - Will get you deported to France. Hillary Clinton - Will still be shot. The last election - Will be officially endorsed by Hillary before her execution. More to come.
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I like it!! BTW, will we be moved from being a mere world superpower, to being THE Super-Duper power? I assume that means we get nukes back, see if the Chinese just wanna TRY and steal Railgun's new models! [:D] I hereby nominate ARlady to be official gaurdian of the nuclear secrets-I can imagine that the Chinese would try to seduce her(that way we catch more of them, cause they'll try it), and be promptly hit with no less than two .50 BMG SLAP's. Sound good? BTW, the "something else" I decided to do involves a top secret teleportation device which takes care of the illegal immigration problem- if you cross the border through anywhere but an official immigration checkpoint, it takes you straight to France, and replaces you with a legally imported French babe. Two birds with one stone, kind of a cultural exchange program. What's next, Chief?
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:49:17 PM EDT
007, take twelve guys from the board and go kick Canadas ass. They need to know we ain't f**king around with them anymore. While you are there close the border, they will need to pay an admission fee to come here in the future. And make them change their currency to precious metal only. Canadian quaters will be plumb gold from now on. They will still only be worth .25 cents here. Change their official language to German, this would have happened eventually if we didn't save their "mother" country in WW2. You may bring back a maximum of 250 hot chicks from Canada.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:58:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2001 11:02:28 PM EDT by SteyrAUG]
Originally Posted By Juggernaut: BTW, the "something else" I decided to do involves a top secret teleportation device which takes care of the illegal immigration problem- if you cross the border through anywhere but an official immigration checkpoint, it takes you straight to France, and replaces you with a legally imported French babe. Two birds with one stone, kind of a cultural exchange program. What's next, Chief?
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Brilliant. Have it up and running by 0600. Put one on the Canadian border as well. I am rearming Germany and Austria and removing restrictions on England. This is the NEW NATO. These, and only these, countries will dictate "our" policy in Europe. Japan, will be rearmed as a nuclear superpower and will put China and the rest of Asia on notice. Finland will receive the largest stockpile of nuclear weapons and will dictate policy to the former Soviet Union at their discretion. Africa, south of Libya and Egypt, will be quarantined for 100 years. Kosovo and Bosnia will knock their sh*t off or be returned to the former soviet union. Any sh*tty third world country who ever f*cked with us, no matter how economically poor(ie. Vietnam, Korea, Somalia, etc.), will pay reparations to the families of US soldiers killed or wounded or else suffer direct unrestricted action. Middleeastern Arab countries and Israel will undergo forced desegregation. Arabs will live in Israel and Jews will live in Iran and Iraq. Any bitching and Jerusalem will be radioactive. After than, anyone who choses may live their. New import prices for a barrel of crude will be two Canadian dollars.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 9:59:04 PM EDT
YES SIR! Gentelman sign up now cuz' the twelve spots are gonna go fast. We will have 3 four man groups,1 group will depart from every other state starting at WA, senior members will have first pick of course, Ed since your out of work right now you can fly over in a Hind and do surveilance. DISMISSED!
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:03:42 PM EDT
I still want the position of giving the Fat Lesbian Hippy Chicks a "last chance before you go to France" test...
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:04:18 PM EDT
Remember men he only said I couldn't bring back more than 250 women, you men can bring back as many as you can chain gang. DISMISSED
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:07:51 PM EDT
Policy regarding Cuba - A McDonalds will be established in Havana. No greater threat to a communist government in the world. US citizens may freely vacation in Cuba with the understanding that they will be under the protective shpere of the US even in Cuba itself. Cuban citizens with valuable skills other than baseball may legally apply for citizenship.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:11:30 PM EDT
Sir, may I inquire as to the status of Cuban cigar importation?
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:11:41 PM EDT
Originally Posted By BusMaster007: I still want the position of giving the Fat Lesbian Hippy Chicks a "last chance before you go to France" test...
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You sir are on dangerous ground and may end up in France. We will attempt to wean you from your fat chick tendencies. You will be tranfered to California to participate in state porn production. Next directive, ALL fashion models must do a one year internship at officially licensed brothels. More on state and federal brothels to come.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:14:11 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 007: Sir, may I inquire as to the status of Cuban cigar importation?
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As I stated Cubans with skills will become US citizens. Texas and Florida will manufacture the finest Cuban cigars in the world. By producing them domestically, I estimate a retail price of $8.00 for a box of Cohibas.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:14:18 PM EDT
Love the NEW NATO, man, don't forget Switzerland, lot of us gots money hidden there, and we need Geneva to laugh at those liberal fools who want into our NATO alliance. Besides, they been good to gun owners.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:18:54 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Juggernaut: Love the NEW NATO, man, don't forget Switzerland, lot of us gots money hidden there, and we need Geneva to laugh at those liberal fools who want into our NATO alliance. Besides, they been good to gun owners.
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Swizerland will continue with international banking, chocolate and watch production. They choose not to participate in the hard stuff so they will get left out of the good stuff. They are their own thing, I will neither reward or punish their efforts or lack thereof.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:23:15 PM EDT
NATIONAL CRISIS: I have studied the figures concerning hot blond chicks with European attitudes towards sex and discovered we are far short of the mandatory 5 to 1, hot blond to average guy, ratio. I need volunteers for Scandinavia, Sweden, Denmark, Norway and Germany immediately. GO NOW.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:26:19 PM EDT
Anything else?
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:30:22 PM EDT
Blonds, damn you, We need blonds with casual morals stat. Get some guys and get your asses to Scandinavia.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:35:51 PM EDT
The enegy crisis: 75 NEW nuclear reacrors will be built in Mexico. Per the NAFTA agreement, they may use three of them. Then long ass giant extention cords will supply the US utilities long distance. California will get one cord. The remaining 10,000 will be distributed according to primary need.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:38:50 PM EDT
Juggernaut, while in Europe, build Eurodisney2. Yes again in France, don't worry they will have to pay for it. They don't mind really. They actually like the other one alot.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:41:01 PM EDT
Dang it, if I don't get some voluteers, I'a commandeer your rears to go with me. I can't import every blonde in Scandanavia without some help, now volunteer! I WILL bring you, and the Prez will back me up. Executive order, as I recall- All babe-getting activities receive all supply and funding neccesary. An' I'll do it, too!
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 11:46:29 PM EDT
Originally Posted By SteyrAUG: Juggernaut, while in Europe, build Eurodisney2. Yes again in France, don't worry they will have to pay for it. They don't mind really. They actually like the other one alot.
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You say so, Boss. Another six hours should be sufficient for a dozen red blooded Americans to build another DisneyWorld. Only one thing, request funding for anti-nausea pills and Haz-Mat suits for actual contact with the French people in general. Other than that, we just bring some power tools and costumes, get some of the Scandinavian girls to help us advertise with the place, some of the local frogs to man the place, and off we go. Anything else?
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