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Posted: 2/26/2002 4:57:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/26/2002 4:58:16 PM EDT by RRotz]
girl! Okay, I've been with my current girlfriend now for 7 years, 5 of them not serious. We'll call her "C." Last couple of years it has gotten serious and we just moved in together with another female room mate, my best friend. No problems with my best girlfriend. Problem is with a girl I've been in love with for the past 8 years from afar, she moved away to college 7 years ago. We'll call her "E." We've been in contact writing to each other what my girlfriend calls "love letters" and she's forbidden me to see or write to her anymore. "E" just moved back in the close proximity, going to grad school in Denton.....I'm in N. Dallas. Last time I spoke to "E" she said she loved me and that if she had not gone away to college we'd have been married by now. Just talked to "E" 2 weeks ago on the phone but she asked awkwardly if we could see each other, wanting to make sure it was okay with my girlfriend and all that. I get the feeling that she's scared to contact me cause of "her." I've waited 8 years to find out if she's interested in me or not, what's another few years? I just don't want to ruin things between her and I, things are already bad with my current GF, I'll prolly end up as a battered husband if I marry this girl. What the hell do I do?
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:04:35 PM EDT
follow your heart. wherever it leads you is where you deserve to be.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:04:44 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:10:22 PM EDT
Originally Posted By RRotz: ... I'll prolly end up as a battered husband if I marry this girl. What the hell do I do?
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You already know what to do. Now it's a matter of handling it in an adult fashion. Easier said than done.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:12:46 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:12:55 PM EDT
Well, for one thing thank your lucky stars that you have rolled in here to ask such a question. We are always much obliged to help folks such as yourself. The be-all, end-all question for you to consider is how do you see your life with C, versus how do you see your life with E? If for these past seven or eight years, you've been thinking about E, it's likely because you are not getting something you need out of your relationship with C. If C were all that she should be, you would have long ago forgotten E, and her sudden reappearance in your life would be just as awkward and unwelcome to you as it is to C. From your post it's apparent that things are not as they should be between you and C. I assume that you are young, possibly under 30. If you are not with someone who rings your chimes in every conceivable manner possible, then you are wasting your young life. The whole point of dating, courtship and marriage is to get it over with and begin raising a family, you know, just like Momma and Papa Rotz did! You've been wasting time with a woman that, if she had been Miss Right, you would have long since married and begun a family together! As it stands now, you can stay where you are now, and write us this same post five years from now, or shake a leg and get moving. It's obvious that you have feelings for E, that have lasted for a very long time. It may even be that she is not the girl for you, but you will never know as long as you are cooped up with C. Please tell me you don't have any children with C, 'cause my advice would be 180 degrees different. Eric The(LetCDownGentlyThough)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:14:00 PM EDT
Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer: here is my 2 cents. Just remember your taking advice from some guy on the net named The Beer Slayer. Ask your self this. DO you see yourself spending the rest of your life happy with girlfriend A. If not move on. If yes do the right thing. I screwed up and moved in with my ex wife while we were dating. She got pregnant so i married her. 7 miserable years later we divorced, hate each other and have to pretend things are fine for the kids. I ended up dating a girl i'd been good freinds with for years and we got married about 3 years ago. I see myself with her for the rest of my life. Take a note from my mistake. If the current girl is the one you know it. If she's not move on and let her find Mr. right. Meanwhile you can pursue Ms. right for yourself.
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You are a man of true wisdom and you're from Alybamy too! I was born at Muther Rucker while my dad was an IP there. Now I feel bad for making girl B feel like she's threatening my current relationship.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:17:51 PM EDT
Ya know... this would be a helluva lot easier for your AR15.com brethren if you were to post some photos of the young ladies in question. As it is right now, I have to just sit here and GUESS which one has the bigger breastesez.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:18:34 PM EDT
The Hun, Under 30, no kids! GREAT ADVICE! I have to tread very lightly because my girl loves guns too!
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:21:25 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Dolomite: Ya know... this would be a helluva lot easier for your AR15.com brethren if you were to post some photos of the young ladies in question. As it is right now, I have to just sit here and GUESS which one has the bigger breastesez.
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I'll get some scanned and hosted for you kind folk to see.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:24:20 PM EDT
hmm i could have sworn this was www.ar15.com a firearms board.... [flame]
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:26:43 PM EDT
rrotz: You also have to remember that "the grass is always greener on the other side". You may be wanting something just because you can't have it. Don't screw up a good relationship just because you think that this other "chick" is something that she may not be. Mark
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:27:02 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:31:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/26/2002 5:47:56 PM EDT by A2cat-man]
"Now I feel bad for making girl B feel like she's threatening my current relationship" wait a minute. did I lose something here? where the hell did girl "B" come from? and what would "C" and "E" think of this?
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:35:29 PM EDT
"First I look at the purse..."
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:41:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Towman: rrotz: You also have to remember that "the grass is always greener on the other side". You may be wanting something just because you can't have it. Don't screw up a good relationship just because you think that this other "chick" is something that she may not be. Mark
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Good point! Remember the old Indian saying: "If it's got tits or wheels, you'll eventually have trouble with it."
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:50:18 PM EDT
Originally Posted By A2cat-man: Now I feel bad for making girl B feel like she's threatening my current relationship wait a minute. did I lose something here? where the hell did girl "B" come from? and what would "C" and "E" think of this?
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Hell if I know anymore, A2. Someone simplifed it to something different and I got comfuzed. HEY SHRIKE! This is about firearms! GF packs heat!
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 5:58:56 PM EDT
Wait a sec, tell us more about your best friend who happens to be a female. Here's my take, after about 5-10 years the hot sex is going to be nice, but less of a focus. After about 2 years the goo-goo "a wuv wu" factor's gonna fade to a warm glow. And what you're going to be left with is a hopefully a damn good friend who you have fun with. Dump 'em both and go for the best friend. er... unless there's some kind of killer issue w/ the best friend that is. Well, that's my take. My first thought though was "I guess a threesome's out of the question then?" Damn, what is it about the gutter that my mind loves so...
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 6:05:35 PM EDT
Just go with which ever one is hotter.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 6:33:49 PM EDT
Originally Posted By RRotz:
Originally Posted By A2cat-man: HEY SHRIKE! This is about firearms! GF packs heat!
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I stand corrected. and in that case, go with the one that packs heat. maybe she understands the addiction we have with firearms.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 6:35:52 PM EDT
Hmm... so you feel what? Obligated to "C"? Hmm... Could [i]this[/i] be one of the reasons for not shacking up? So you don't feel obligated to someone your totally incompatible with? Not to flame you, but everyone must learn lessons when they are presented to them. Or just keep making the same mistakes.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 6:45:25 PM EDT
It was a punchline in a joke I got awhile back - Which one did he choose? The one with biggest tits of course.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 8:25:27 PM EDT
RRotz, You are still playing the field. Move out of your current girlfriends place and get a place of your own. Continue dating girl C and start dating girl E and while you are at it start dating your old room mate. Natural selection will take its course. Big hint: Don't do anything until you have your own place.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 8:32:54 PM EDT
Funny that you posted this. Today I took the step to track down my college crush. We stopped talking because of my 8 year girlfriend, now I felt it was time to make sure that she isn't the one, or find out that she is and make myself happy! Don't feel bound to your current girlfriend, I'm sure its shitty to say, but you only live once, make sure its with someone you wake up and love, rather than resent. FYI, I called her today and we're getting together soon. I'd go for her if I were you, just be prepared for her to have changed, that can be the biggest heartbreak. Don't do anything about the GF until you see her once, there's no harm if there's no foul! GOOD LUCK! I'll need some myself!
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 8:34:10 PM EDT
I would like to be the first to take "C" off of your hands.
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 8:40:12 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 1GUNRUNNER: It was a punchline in a joke I got awhile back - Which one did he choose? The one with biggest tits of course.
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This reminds me of a story I once heard: A guy walks into a shrink's office complaining of trouble with women. The shrinks asks him what he looks for in a woman, and the guy replies, "Big tits." The shrink says, "No, I meant for a serious relationship." The guy replies, "Oh, seriously big tits." "No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?" The doctor looked kind of worried as the guy just sat there on his couch laughing... "Spend the rest of my life with one woman? No woman's tits are that big!"
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 8:48:50 PM EDT
I will not be giving advice since i am a chronic mastubator!
Link Posted: 2/26/2002 9:13:08 PM EDT
One more meager word of advice: You've posted this on the internet. If current GF is into guns and has internet access there is the possibility that she will run into this. Even though it's unlikely I'm just putting this scenario out there. Just going make things more "messy". You've used their initials (should have gone with A, B and C just to be safe). Here's to hoping I'm wrong.
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 12:10:09 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Shrike: hmm i could have sworn this was www.ar15.com a firearms board.... [flame]
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Well, I believe that this is the "General Discussion Forum". As for the topic at hand,I would present it to "C" as you love her and want to make sure that the rest of your life is meant to be with her and try some time of your own. I would have to go with "USNJoe" as far as getting your own place and dateing both. If "C" doesn't understand then you are better off. If "E" doesn't work out and "C" did understand, then I guess it was meant to be! Remember the saying: "If you love something, set it free." blah blah blah "and if it comes back, it was meant to be!"........Well, let see here; It looks like "E" came back!!! If you get your own place and you end up back with "C" then, there ya have it! Remember this is only one womans point of view [;D]
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 12:17:41 AM EDT
WHOOPS!! Guess I better clarify something. " Date both of them " .......... this of course after you have taked to "C" and have moved into your own place. If "C" knows that you are trying to be a man about it and not cheating on her then there should be no problem, and if there is then you should not feel bad or have any guilt.
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 8:45:18 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 5150sWife: WHOOPS!! Guess I better clarify something. " Date both of them " .......... this of course after you have taked to "C" and have moved into your own place. If "C" knows that you are trying to be a man about it and not cheating on her then there should be no problem, and if there is then you should not feel bad or have any guilt.
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SO........SHOULD I CALL THE OTHER WOMAN? I feel like a little jr. high kid, all scared to call this girl!!!
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 9:22:54 AM EDT
Date the girl you've been pining for. Tell the girl you're with the truth (I know, I know, it sounds stupid...). Honesty with everyone involved will always win more points than trying to be sneaky (and possibly getting caught). Last of all, go with your heart. I'm in the process of getting a divorce from a girl I dated for 6 years prior to 2 yrs of marriage, and I'm currently dating a girl I never would've met had I not been married. (we've been separated for about 8 months now, so no flames)
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 9:27:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/27/2002 9:30:23 AM EDT by sfoo]
Originally Posted By RRotz: SO........SHOULD I CALL THE OTHER WOMAN? I feel like a little jr. high kid, all scared to call this girl!!!
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Here's my $.02. You obviously have some issues to work out first, like living with "C". You've pretty much made up your mind it seems about her...being a battered husband? She forbids you to call someone? These things seem to me that that you've already determined that she's not exactly what you are looking for (unless you're into some really kinky sh!t that I don't want to know about). If "E" is hot to trot with you, and you with her, I'd indicate to her that until you move, it's not going to happen. And if she's really wanting to be with you she'll understand and be patient the month or 60 days that it takes for you to move. And when you do move, don't move in directly with her! Make sure that your relationship is going somewhere and somewhere good with her first. Like a few others have said before me...which one do you see yourself staying with for the rest of your life? For me this was a really easy question to answer. Good luck. Edited to add....honest is the best policy, so when the old girl starts bugging you about what's going on DO NOT lie. And don't lie to the new one either. Open, honest communication is one major key of long lasting good relationships.
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 9:29:06 AM EDT
Resign yourself to the fact that no matter which one you choose, you will end up married, broke, and unhappy. That is the way of the world.
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 9:33:08 AM EDT
Post from Golgo-13 -
Resign yourself to the fact that no matter which one you choose, you will end up married, broke, and unhappy. That is the way of the world.
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Yes, it is, but you should at least have children to show for your married, broke, unhappy life here on earth! If you do, then you will someday have [b]grandchildren[/b], and they are worth their weight in gold! You'll still be married (hopefully) and broke, but your life will be very, very happy indeed! Eric The(AskMeAboutMyGrandkids)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 9:37:59 AM EDT
Originally Posted By RRotz: things are already bad with my current GF, I'll prolly end up as a battered husband if I marry this girl.
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[b]Then why the #&%$@ did you move in with her in the first place?!?!![/b] If you have that kind of fear, then you should not be with "C". period. If you've already recognized the future problems, then get out for your own sake. Whether "E" is the one... time will tell. Might not be either one, but if you stick with an abusive woman, you'll regret it.
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 11:24:42 AM EDT
YES, YES, YES. But should I call her???
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 1:20:42 PM EDT
... E=MC2 unless C>E breasteses
Link Posted: 2/27/2002 2:32:28 PM EDT
Originally Posted By RRotz: YES, YES, YES. But should I call her???
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DON"T CALL HER UNTIL YOU HAVE TALKED TO "C"!! Just another thing to keep in mind..... It has been 8yrs since you thought you fell in love with "E", right? Alot can be changed in 8yrs!! Don't rush into anything with her, start out slow to make sure it still works for you guys. ("IT" being your "relationship" for those of you who think with the head in your pants).... YOU MUST REMEMBER: always be honest and don't be sneaky!!! That will hurt more people in the end!
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 5:07:44 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/28/2002 5:14:04 AM EDT by Golgo-13]
Originally Posted By EricTheHun: Post from Golgo-13 -
Resign yourself to the fact that no matter which one you choose, you will end up married, broke, and unhappy. That is the way of the world.
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Yes, it is, but you should at least have children to show for your married, broke, unhappy life here on earth! If you do, then you will someday have [b]grandchildren[/b], and they are worth their weight in gold! You'll still be married (hopefully) and broke, but your life will be very, very happy indeed! Eric The(AskMeAboutMyGrandkids)Hun[>]:)]
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Children are, indeed, very important. Love of my daughter (who turns 1 on Sunday, btw) is what keeps me from running amok. If she waits as long as I did to have children (39) I probably won't live to see grandchildren. In any event, you hit the nail on the head with the idea that the point of it all is to have children. In the fullness of time, and a lot of women, I've concluded that romantic love and passion fade...for me anyway. Instead, I try to make a comfortable, contented life for my family. Any decisions made based on romance and/or hot, passionate sex are bound to be bad ones.
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 5:24:17 AM EDT
That's a choice that only you can make. Whatever you decide to do, take the high road and be honest with everybody about it. That way if things don't work out the way you anticipated, you won't have any regrets about your actions. BTW - Sometimes the grass is only greener 'cause it's over the septic tank.. [:D]
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 5:50:31 AM EDT
If you have to ask the question, you already know the answer.
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 7:24:14 AM EDT
Originally Posted By RRotz: YES, YES, YES. But should I call her???
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Here's my advice, RRotz - First, regardless of what others here have said, [b]DO NOT[/b] tell your current girlfriend anything about this girl from your past. If you do, your already rocky relationship will go right down the toilet and she will make your life a living hell forcing you to move out. It really doesn't sound like things are going that well anyway, so go ahead and start looking for a new place to live. Once you have put down a deposit on a new place, only then tell your current girlfriend that you're moving. Give her excuses like you need some space, you need time alone, you think that the time apart will bring you two closer together, etc. Yes, these are total bullshit, but they're the excuses that women give men all the time when they want to leave/cheat and she won't be able to argue with them. But [b]DO NOT[/b] say that you want to see someone else. Tell the girl from the past that you still care for her and want to see her, but it's really awkward while you're living with the current girlfriend. Then say that you're breaking up with the current girlfriend and will be moved out soon, and you can see her when you're in your new place. So there you are - you're in your own place, and the current girlfriend still thinks you're a couple, which means you still get sex and she'll be on her best behavior. And when you decide to dump her, you can do it with a phone call. Plus you get to spend as much time as you want with the girl from the past. Now all you have to do is date both, take your time, and decide which one you want. But be sure to get an answering machine and don't give out keys to anyone. Wasn't that easy?
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 11:58:24 AM EDT
Originally Posted By LotBoy: I will not be giving advice since i am a chronic mastubator!
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It's not a disease - it's a hobby!!!
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 12:53:29 PM EDT
Pork them both for as long as you can. Then try to get on the Jerry Springer show. After that move on to another woman.
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 1:35:51 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 1:52:10 PM EDT
What I want to know is what happened to A and B. [;)]
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 1:57:10 PM EDT
Ok I'm going to place my $0.02 in this one. My wife that I have been married to for 4 years and have known for about 8 years is my best friend in the world I can talk to her about anything. If you think this is the girl your going to marry then just think of this. Is this someone you can talk to? Is this someone you will have more fun with then your guy friends? Could you see this woman raising your kids if you want any? Most of all will this woman support you no matter what choose you make in life? If you have never seen the movie Clerks go and see it may help you a little. Last Good luck and trust your heart not your dick!!!! Your dick is only in it for the short run your heart is in it for the long run.
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 1:58:14 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 2:02:00 PM EDT
RRotz, I ran your story by my wife. Her suggestion was to get some silver thread and tie it tightly around each of your testicles. When they both finally drop off your problem will be solved. I know this is probably not what you had in mind, but that's what she said. [:D]
Link Posted: 2/28/2002 4:07:17 PM EDT
Ummmm...I'm single....I'm in Plano......I can help with the overflow if you want.
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