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Posted: 8/11/2005 3:33:58 PM EDT
Just read the "4 yrs. and $56K" thread, so this is small potatos. I suspected that the lovely wife had been dipping into my side job cash stash. Now I'm real sure of it. Had the money ($100's, lots of them) in several bank envelopes) in my carry bag that I take to work. Stupid? Yeah, but at least I knew where it was. Should have put in the gun safe.

Anyways; I went to count out the cash for a motorcycle purchase and came up short by $900 in one envelope and $700 in another. The correct amounts were marked on the outside of the envelopes and I had just re-counted it all last month. OK, I could have mis-counted by a couple of hundred. I also could have failed to adjust the balance on one envelope after buying a machine last month.

Now, mind you, I had to adjust the amounts last month by a considerable amount. I had bought a Jeep for my son and one of the "discrepancies" was about the same amount, $1700. Another adjustment was for about $900. I suspected something then, but had not proof. Could have been my own sloppy bookkeeping, so I commented on the situation and watched for her response. Didn't see anything suspicious.

This time though, I am real sure I wouldn't have taken separate amounts out of two different envelopes. No way. Now the question is: what, if anything can I do about it? Confrontation will get extreme resistance. She is a moody, stubborn bitch. A gentle discussion leading up the question "anything you'd care to tell me about this"? Maybe. I might be able to provoke her in one of her usual "well, you've got so damn much money" routines. I can keep cool while she rages. Those types don't realize how much information the give away when they "lose it". Any suggestion on this would be greatly appreciated.

Another thought is to say nothing, but photo-copy a bunch of $100's on a good machine (or maybe just a b/w copier) and stuff a bank envelope with them and put in usual place. And just wait for her to make another "withdrawl". Either she would realize right there that the C-notes were fake and that I was on to her or she would suffer the embarassment of having a store clerk or bank teller inform her. Could I do this legally?

This witch has stolen a lot of my sanity and self-worth over the years, but she has been fairly honest about money matters. As I realize now (and it would cost about $200-$300K for a divorce at this point), I should have gotten out a long time ago. I know, never too late, but I have a real problem with giving up everything (marital property state) at age 52 and still having to support her lazy ass for the rest of my life.

If this sounds like a rant, it is! She's on vacation with the daughter and SIL this week. This has been a week from hell. So far this week her Golden Retriever has chewed up the couch twice, scared one of my cats and been a general PIA. One of the other cats got sick, so I got to contribute to the vets building addition. Then the missing money issue, on top of all the "normal" bullshit. Had a major depression episode last night. Was suppossed to go pick up the motorcycle and couldn't get my head straight enough to do it. Felt better after a couple of beers with my brother. Might need to do the same tonight. Thanks for listening.

Maybe I should get the bike anyways?
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:36:12 PM EDT
It's called a bank account. Open one that doesn't have her name on it and don't tell her about it.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:37:24 PM EDT
I would offer advice, but the women would get upset.

.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:37:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Merrell:
I would offer advice, but the women would get upset.

.




To bad we don;t have a mens forum.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:38:25 PM EDT
I'd draw down on her.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:41:01 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 3:43:02 PM EDT by Alien]
I'd confront her. She knows it's your money and that she's taking it. You know she's taking it. Don't pussy foot around. I'd just want to know WHY she's doing it and WHY she's being so dishonest. But that's me.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:42:10 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 4:02:09 PM EDT by rayra]

Originally Posted By dport:
It's called a bank account. Open one that doesn't have her name on it and don't tell her about it.

+1


WTF are you thinking if you've ALREADY had suspicious shortages, keeping that kind of cash around?
And using that kind of language about your (ETA:) Wife, and you STILL keep loose cash around??
I mean WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:42:31 PM EDT
Why are you "holding back" money from your wife?
How can your wife be "ripping you off"?
Aren't you two married?
Shouldn't it be "our" money?

Sorry but I don't get it... I guess I'm lucky with my wife.

Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:42:38 PM EDT
Is she Good Lookin , and will she get much from the Divorce ?
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:43:25 PM EDT
hey tell your wife thank you for dinner the other night. She did not have to pick up the tab!

IM just kidding good luck!
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:43:27 PM EDT
Safe deposit box in just your name.

I'd probably put some of her jewelery in it, just to see if she notices.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:43:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FredM:

Originally Posted By Merrell:
I would offer advice, but the women would get upset.

.




To bad we don;t have a mens forum.



Even if we did, it wouldn't be safe from the bitter biddie posse, who would thunder into our quiet guy sanctuary, rolling pins raised, and wreak havoc...
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:46:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 3:48:51 PM EDT by Taffy223]
Are you 100% sure it's her
This is the action of imaturity because it is obvious they would be found out.

Do any kids have access to your property. I read there is a daughter involved in your dilema.

Is it just possible it was not your wife

I hope you sort this out....

Condolences
Taffy

BTW Pets are a bind hey?


ETA Damn 10+ posts while I was typing
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:48:04 PM EDT
My biggest concern would be where did $3400 go? She have any new jewelry, expensive clothes, etc?
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:50:28 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:50:37 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:51:56 PM EDT
Bury it, no I'm not kidding.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:55:10 PM EDT
As others have said, if your wife is taking it you have 2 problems:

1) What is she doing with all of that money?
2) You don't have much of a marriage if your wife will steal from you.

Sorry mang.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:57:32 PM EDT
If she knows the combo for the gun safe, get a lockable cash box or small safe to put inside the gunsafe to hold all the money.

Kharn
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:01:05 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Merrell:

Originally Posted By FredM:

Originally Posted By Merrell:
I would offer advice, but the women would get upset.

.




To bad we don;t have a mens forum.



Even if we did, it wouldn't be safe from the bitter biddie posse, who would thunder into our quiet guy sanctuary, rolling pins raised, and wreak havoc...



I could post pictures of my bare ass to drive all the annoying wenches away.

Unfortunately, all the wimminz we wanted to keep around would also flee in mass exodus.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:01:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By jtw2:
As others have said, if your wife is taking it you have 2 problems:

1) What is she doing with all of that money?
2) You don't have much of a marriage if your wife will steal from you.

Sorry mang.



+1 on all of the above.


Have you considered asking her what she bought her boyfriend with it? I mean, was it anything you might want to borrow sometime?
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:01:31 PM EDT
Does your wife work? Or does she sit on her ass all day?

It's vital you find out where the money went. If your wife had any respect for you she'd ask you for the money or tell you she took it. Investigate where the money went to.

Isn't marraige a bunch of bullshit today? Women use marriage to put themselves in the position to steal everything you have and destroy your dreams. And they wonder why guys put off marraige and hate it, and why women push so hard for marraige. It's a scary thing.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:02:04 PM EDT
Put a floormat or padding in the bottom of the safe and hide it under there. Or maybe get all the guns out of the house now. She could be just spending it or buying a little meth.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:02:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By petagunner:

Originally Posted By jtw2:
As others have said, if your wife is taking it you have 2 problems:

1) What is she doing with all of that money?
2) You don't have much of a marriage if your wife will steal from you.

Sorry mang.



+1 on all of the above.


Have you considered asking her what she bought her boyfriend with it? I mean, was it anything you might want to borrow sometime?


Yeah don't worry. If he gets a divorce it'll be "legally" stolen for that boyfriend.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:05:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By yobo:
Why are you "holding back" money from your wife?
How can your wife be "ripping you off"?
Aren't you two married?
Shouldn't it be "our" money?

Sorry but I don't get it... I guess I'm lucky with my wife.





whatever
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:07:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:

Originally Posted By yobo:
Why are you "holding back" money from your wife?
How can your wife be "ripping you off"?
Aren't you two married?
Shouldn't it be "our" money?

Sorry but I don't get it... I guess I'm lucky with my wife.





whatever



Like I said I'm lucky.
Perhapse one day you'll know what I know.
Good luck to you.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:08:25 PM EDT
This sounds like that one episode of "Married with Children" when Al wanted to buy a new car...
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:09:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By yobo:

Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:

Originally Posted By yobo:
Why are you "holding back" money from your wife?
How can your wife be "ripping you off"?
Aren't you two married?
Shouldn't it be "our" money?

Sorry but I don't get it... I guess I'm lucky with my wife.





whatever



Like I said I'm lucky.
Perhapse one day you'll know what I know.
Good luck to you.


How long have you been married?
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:10:13 PM EDT
bummer. if you confront, she will justify it with "why were you hiding $ from me?", if you don't she will keep doing it.


mine just had her raids on the finances come biting us both in the ass. she can't go on vacation this year to visit family because we are still paying for last year's trip....and the $6000 she put on cc's for it.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:12:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 4:13:28 PM EDT by bigscrun]
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:13:11 PM EDT
You take the bag to work? WTF? How do you know it is your wife ripping you off?

If you are sure, ditch the bitch.
Move money to offshore acounts, sell the house and move her into an apartment and bail on the whole thing.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:15:33 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 4:16:12 PM EDT by MrsGloftoe]
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:16:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MachinegunManiac:

Originally Posted By yobo:

Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:

Originally Posted By yobo:
Why are you "holding back" money from your wife?
How can your wife be "ripping you off"?
Aren't you two married?
Shouldn't it be "our" money?

Sorry but I don't get it... I guess I'm lucky with my wife.





whatever



Like I said I'm lucky.
Perhapse one day you'll know what I know.
Good luck to you.


How long have you been married?




Married for 12 years this year.
Known and started to date almost 15 years ago.
Like good wine, it gets better with time.

Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:21:28 PM EDT
And you better check your credit, look into CCs you know nothing about, check bank accounts. She gambling? That is a pretty damn typical story for a gambler or a drug addict.

You better protect your ass now and keep an eye on how much she is spending on this trip. I suspect there is a lot you don't know. You better move some money, ASAP!
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:23:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By yobo:

Originally Posted By MachinegunManiac:

Originally Posted By yobo:

Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:

Originally Posted By yobo:
Why are you "holding back" money from your wife?
How can your wife be "ripping you off"?
Aren't you two married?
Shouldn't it be "our" money?

Sorry but I don't get it... I guess I'm lucky with my wife.





whatever



Like I said I'm lucky.
Perhapse one day you'll know what I know.
Good luck to you.


How long have you been married?




Married for 12 years this year.
Known and started to date almost 15 years ago.
Like good wine, it gets better with time.




I've BTDT with wives identical to BOTH of yours. I have a great wife now, had a sorry wife before. The man needs advice, not holier-than-thou criticism.

1. Put your cash in a safe place.
2. Discreetly find a lawyer that ONLY does divorce work, get a consultation from him/her about what you stand to lose if you get divorced. I don't know if your state is a community property state, but for your sake I hope not.
3. You know your wife better than any of us, so ask yourself if confronting her will make things better or worse. My initial thought is that it would make it worse because she knows your onto her, and she will counterstrike.

If you have any divorced buddies, ask them if they recommend their lawyer or their ex's lawyer AND ask them to keep their mouth SHUT.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:25:21 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 4:34:01 PM EDT by Andreuha]
Does she work? Any kids not yet of age?

I'd recommend either a safe deposit box or a P.O. box and an account at a different bank (box for the statements).
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:26:56 PM EDT
Get a safe,
stick it with all you guns or someplace she doesnt normally look.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:27:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MrsGloftoe:
And as for the "bitter biddies" comment:



[innocent_look]




Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:31:54 PM EDT
DX her!!!!

no questions asked....carry on!
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:32:39 PM EDT
Bury it if you can. Whatever you do hide your assests from her especially if you marriage has come down to this. If you can, speak with an attorney and establish a trust fund. There are ways around almost everything.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:33:35 PM EDT
I hate to hear of your predicament but thank God for being single and never married you just reminded me why.

I could not live under any roof with someone who you can't trust because they are a thief and the list goes on and gets worse....Best of Luck
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:35:09 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 4:38:03 PM EDT by Bama-Shooter]
If she's stealing from you now. Go ahead and cut her loose. My X was doing that only I stuck it out several more years for the kids.

Hint: Put your cash in an empty ammo box that is mixed in with the rest of your ammo. Make sure it is the same type box only empty.

ETA: It will cost you more in the long to keep her. Cut her now, take your loss and move on. It flies, floats or fucks it's cheaper to rent in the long run.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:35:48 PM EDT
reason number 748974 for a PRENUPTUAL AGREEMENT before marrying a woman that plans to be a house-wife.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:40:23 PM EDT
Getting rid of her will cost you, but what price can you put on freedom from a thief who's messed with you for so many years?

The bigger cost is sticking around...get out while the gettin's good. You don't have a marriage, you have a roommate that's female.

HH
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:40:55 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 4:42:32 PM EDT by Cableman]
You have a gunsafe and your money wasn't in it?

WTF good does a safe do if you don't use it?

I won't condone stealing, but you can solve the problem rather easily.

Use your gunsafe, or better yet, buy a new small safe, paint it green with a big $ sign on it in gold.

Tell the wife it's your "MONEY" safe.

Either way, you shouldn't leave large amounts of cash lying around...thats being lazy with your money.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:41:58 PM EDT
oh yeah one more thing: do not make copies of federal currency.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:46:50 PM EDT
make damn sure she is the theif if you are going to confront her.
could have been your kids, or someone at work.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:52:40 PM EDT
If you have a spouse that you are compelled to hide money & secrets from, how long is that relationship going to last? Yobo's comments may have been tough to accept, but if you are honest, you admit it when "the Emperor has no clothes".

BTW... BTDT!
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 5:08:44 PM EDT
The Ultimate Solution


Go to the drugstore and get a powder called "Gentian Violet." It is a remedy for ringworm. Taking care to get none on anything, including your hands,

Take a heavy white envelop, put about 20 one dollar bills in it and sprinkle the powder between the bills.

Seal the envelop. Keep away from moisture or high humidity because,

Anyone who touches the bills will have their hands turn purple when the moisture on their hands contacts the powder. It will take some time and scrubbing to get all of the stain off. Of course, anything they put the bills into will probably be ruined to, but I didn't call this the "Perfect" Solution.

This also worked at school when there was a rash of beer thefts from coolers. Drinking Bud, I whizzed into a half full bottle of Miller's, added a little GV and told my date under no circustances to retreive the Miller's placed on top of the ice. Sure enough, someone came downstairs that night and said, "Drenskys upstairs in the bathroom puking, and he's all PURPLE!"

We had our felon.

Link Posted: 8/11/2005 5:12:36 PM EDT
What I was thinking.


Originally Posted By Taffy223:
Are you 100% sure it's her
This is the action of imaturity because it is obvious they would be found out.

Do any kids have access to your property. I read there is a daughter involved in your dilema.

Is it just possible it was not your wife

I hope you sort this out....

Condolences
Taffy

BTW Pets are a bind hey?


ETA Damn 10+ posts while I was typing

Link Posted: 8/11/2005 5:13:55 PM EDT
That sucks
I'd call it tuition, get a much better hiding place and liquidate.
Only buy the bike if you want her to own half of it.
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