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Posted: 1/22/2013 4:58:53 AM EDT
I am 26 years old. I lost my father in April to cancer. It ate his body from the inside out.

People keep saying it gets easier as time goes on.

It's been 8 months and it's only getting harder.

At what point is this supposed to get easier?
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:06:14 AM EDT
Bro,

I lost my Dad over three years ago due to Mesothelioma (nasty progressive disease). He was 82.

It NEVER gets easier (then again, it is up to you whether or not it gets harder).

You will never get over it completely.

Just pray for strength, and keep the faith for yourself and your family.

Prayers sent.

Hope this helps.
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:08:16 AM EDT
I lost my dad on November 29th to a year long battle with cancer. At some point you are going to have to be at peace with his passing... you can't fight it. I just stay in touch with him daily, always asking him what he'd do in a situation. He hasn't failed to answer me yet and I find solace in that.
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:08:52 AM EDT
He was a big part of your life. The loss will never get easier, but the acceptance of it will.
I lost my father in June of 2012, and it wasn't easy. I miss him every day still. He and I were like best friends unless we were fighting. lol

Just know that he wants you to carry on with life, and put your energies into things that will take you mind off of it. My faith got me through it, knowing that my dad was not suffering any longer, and was with our Father.

I am sorry for your loss, and my prayers are with you.

Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:13:37 AM EDT
For me it was about a year, I was driving on the highway and
just burst into tears, that was the moment of closure for me

Now it is more of a matter of fact that I can deal with.

I still miss him, but the pain is gone.

It gets better, take your time, Grieve and heal.

Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:15:24 AM EDT
I was just a year older than you when I lost my Mother a few years back. It sucked, and it sucked hard. I wont tell you that it gets easier, because it doesn't, eventually though you think about it less. Thinking about it less doesn't mean that you don't or didn't love them. Eventually you have to move forward for yourself. If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to IM me.
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:15:56 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/22/2013 5:17:55 AM EDT by BKC1869]
Lost my dad almost two years ago to Brain Cancer. You never get over it, you just learn to adjust to a new normal without them. Odd this thread was here because on the way to work this morning I saw something that reminded me of him and it got to me. Sometimes that happens.

There is no set time for it to "get easier". The first year is usually the most difficult though. Everyone grieves in a different way and the time for everyone is different.
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:19:49 AM EDT
lost my mom in october of 2011 .. she battled cancer for 21 years ..

the hardest thing is when i still try and call her.. just to talk or tell her about something that i got or something thats on my mind..

i still have a voicemail from her - i haven't listened to it in over 6 months.

it never get easy but i know she is not having all those chemicals pumped into her body anymore and she is not having to deal with the pain anymore.

i know she is looking over me - i miss her everyday.

sorry for your loss buddy - i know your pain and feelings " at times i still feel lost "

Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:22:29 AM EDT
My father died November 28, 1989. It gets better but it never goes away. I loved my dad. He was a great guy and a real father.
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:22:56 AM EDT
I lost both my parents 2 weeks apart at the end of 2007. Does it get easier? Eventually it did for me, but I think everybody is different. If you have friends or family that you can lean on who will be there for you, then lean on them. That's how I got through it.

In my case the pain has faded, but it still comes back at times and I find myself hurting and crying. I miss them everyday and I talk to them when I need to.

Just hang in there and stay strong. Lots of good folks on here who've been through what your dealing with and can help.
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:24:06 AM EDT
The feeling of loss gets better with time, but you will always miss him... You'll frequently find yourself in a situation where you can't help but say 'dad would have loved that!'.

My dad died in '06 of lung cancer (you smokers let that burn in).
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:27:40 AM EDT
I'm 39 I lost my mom 15 years ago my dad 12.
It never really gets easier it just gets different is the only way I can describe it.
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 5:41:57 AM EDT
My dad died in 2000, I was 27 he was 55. I would catch myself reaching for the phone to call him for a long time after he was gone. It gets easier, but the void is still there. My back up in life left with him.
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 6:03:43 AM EDT
I very unexpectedly lost my father June 6, 2012. He was 76 and was still very active including running his own excavation business with a small crew. He still drove 20yd dump trucks and operated his excavation equipment. He suffered a major stroke late Saturday evening and slipped into a coma a couple hours later. At 3:30 early Wednesday morning I watched him take his last breath with his wife of 30 years beside me.

I spent from Sunday afternoon to Wednesday morning in his hospital room along with some of my family (we're scattered throughout the country) and I'm glad I did because it gave me time to get some "closure". I still have some tough times and I expect I always will. It's just one of those things.

I also have difficult times unexpectedly with other lost family members and lost pets. Unfortunately it's something that everyone must go through.

If you find you're having more difficulty coming to terms as time goes on it might be time to open up to someone you trust. Simply getting things off your chest can work wonders. If you have already done this and found it not helpful, then I recommend taking it to a professional level before the grief eats you up from the inside out. I am hesitant to mention the professional help given the current gun-grabbing climate, but your health and well being are vitally important.

Link Posted: 1/22/2013 6:18:26 AM EDT
I lost my mom Aug 24, 2010 and my dad Oct. 31, 2012. I cried for my mom and missed her dearly. I learned over the next two years that she was the glue that kept the family together. I stepped into that role and I helped my dad though it all. Now he is gone. What a loss!. The tragedy for me is that, while me and my dad got along ok, I got along much better with the two of them together. I miss the days of coffe, dinner, just calling to see how they are... I also realized that I am the Patriarch of my family now. Dad is gone and it is up to me to be the example and hold the line. The world got a lot bigger and scarier after his death. It is up to me to be the MAN now and not screw up things with my selfishness. So, no I dont think you will ever really get over the loss. You just man up and move forward and remember what he taught you.
Link Posted: 1/22/2013 6:26:57 AM EDT

It doesn't get easier.

You just get used to it.

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