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Posted: 9/17/2009 11:00:13 AM EST
I fucking cannot stand stupid fucking people. Holy fucking shit, why can't we kill stupid people so they cannot annoy everyone else? Why must we allow them free reign of their underdeveloped thought processes and ridiculous musings? At first I thought this was an isolated incident, but apparently I was mistaken. Allow me to set the stage: Online retailers have been allowing customers to review their wares and post their honest opinions for all prospective online shoppers to peruse - well, except for CTD I guess. Maybe I am mistaken but I thought the purpose of allowing customers to post their reviews was so they may rate the products based on their experiences. Well holy fucking hell, I guess I was wrong. Mind you this has been simmering in my mind for quite some time and today a little spring in my head snapped and I must vent.

The first example from a few months ago has been pulled from Amazon.com. There was a pre-order of a Blu-ray on Amazon and someone actually posted a review of the film that contained nothing more than him bitching about how much Amazon was going to charge for the Blu-ray. He was attacked on the highdefdigest.com forums and eventually pulled the review even though he defended his actions. Our own COC restricts my ability to freely speak my mind on this matter, so we will move on.

My next example is here, a review on Amazon.com of the original Transformers cartoon series 1 on DVD::

http://www.amazon.com/Transformers-Complete-First-Season-Anniversary/product-reviews/B001SLNPTI/ref=cm_cr_dp_hist_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&filterBy=addOneStar

1.0 out of 5 stars AGAIN!?!?!?, June 10, 2009
By James D'amario "Jim" (Philadelphia, PA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
I'm a little peeved, this is the second release of Season 1 of Transformers the original Series and it was like $60...now its being released for $20. Feeling a bit ripped off...
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Comment Comments (8)


Listen James D'amario, you cock sucking little ass fag. Reviews are for the product, not that you are pissed the product has been re-released at a lower price point. What the fuck were you thinking you cum swallowing piece of shit? Why are you deliberately degrading the reviewed quality of the product because you are pissed another studio bought the rights to a discontinued piece of merchandise and re-released it? Are you too fucking ignorant to understand the basic premise of a review? Why the fuck do you own a computer and access to the Internet? Why the fuck do you feel compelled to post your mind when it is clear there is no capacity of thought other than dicks and fucking stupidity. If it was up to me your keyboard would be shoved squarely up your dick swallowing asshole so you can never again grace my monitor with your babbling bullshit of irrelevance. Son of a bitch.

*breathe*

My next and final example comes this afternoon from Tigerdirect.com. I have been looking around for a 1TB external hard drive because I am really starting to get into digital photography. OK, let me stop lying. I have a lot of porn, and I'm doing digital photography. I need a lot of extra storage space for both my collections of Ass to Mouth Sweethearts 7 and Sally Takes 18 Dicks at Once While Jerking off a Giraffe at the San Diego Zoo Volume 3 and artsy photographs of birds and bridges and shit. Anyway, I notice a sale on Tigerdirect of a 1.5TB external hard drive by Seagate so I decide to read the user reviews and see if it is a viable option. This did not take long, for the very first review is chock full of stupidity:

http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/SearchTools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=4183659&CatId=4230


We'll See!
Reviewer: Jorge on Sep 08, 2009
Customer Rating: 2.0
Value 2.0
Features 2.0
Quality 2.0
Performance 2.0

I ordered this product earlier just this morning, and even though I have not received it yet, the price was great, although most of the reviews were negative. But I ordered it anyhow, mainly on the strong suggestion posted by ''Anonymous'' on 03/23/09 that all buyers should first run the seatools diagnostics and repair software before using the drive. If it works like he suggested it will be a great buy. If not, $130 would not quite break me.


Well, well, well ... Jorge where do we begin? When you woke up this morning looking for a hard drive did your mother strap on your football helmet for you and leave you unattended with your Hello Kitty laptop again? What the fuck were you thinking you mouth breathing, shit eating retard? What's wrong, the playground was full or your mother wouldn't let you out of the bubble to play with the regular kids so you were bored? What the fuck kind of review is that? We'll see? Who the fuck writes a GODDAMN FUCKING PRODUCT REVIEW titled "We'll see" because they HAVEN'T EVEN RECEIVED THE FUCKING PRODUCT YET? I'll give you a hint Sloth, that's not the fucking purpose of a review and Tigerdirect.com didn't allow you the privilege of posting a 2 star review of their product as a fucking place holder. Thanks for skewing the numbers for the rest of us who understand the purpose of a customer review and were looking for accurate information you window licking twat. I hope that Seagate hard drive arrives and is just what you were hoping for, and then I hope it shorts out and destroys all of your precious data. Then I hope the short causes the drive to catch on fire and your house burns down while you are trapped in your basement, bouncing off the padded walls while wearing your football helmet. Hopefully you suffocate to death so I don't have the unfortunate displeasure of reading any more of your fucking product reviews. For the love of Christ hopefully it is not too late for you to take a Sawzall to your scrotum so you cannot reproduce. The last thing we need are even more ignorant spawns of yourself fucking up the reviews of toys on Amazon for all the rest of the children who will be able to write their own names in crayon before age 30.

*sigh*

Oh, and lest I forget! Last Sunday I went to Fantasy of Flight, a museum in Orlampa, FL. I was happier than a pig in shit to be surrounded by WWII aircraft. There is an F4U, B-17, B-25, F4F, etc. Well, I decided to take the guided trolley tour so I could go see the maintenance hanger, storage hangers, etc. instead of just the museum itself. So into the trolley I went with my Nikon D80 and girlfriend in tow. Our first stop was the maintenance hanger, and low and behold what do I see as we pull up? The original Ford Tri-Motor! What a beautiful bird, and next to it are Kermit Weeks' TWO P-51 Mustangs. Now, P-51 Mustangs are indeed bad-ass but I'm more into naval aviation so the Grumman TBF Avenger sitting in the corner is what really piqued my interest. There this beautiful piece of machinery sit, with her wings folded up, awaiting her routine maintenance after being flown in from her previous home. After the tour guide explained what kind of plane she was, he asked if there were any questions. One woman I would venture to guess is in her mid 50s immediately raised her hand. She pointed at the Avenger and started to ask "Is that..." silence. "Is that.." "That plane..." I could tell this woman was struggling to form a coherent thought, and it was at that time I said a silent prayer women in the early 1940s weren't as fucking stupid as this bitch or else the factories would have shut down and we would all be speaking German right now. "Is that plane ... like a Transformer?" she squeaked. In case you did not catch that I will repeat it. The woman asked if the fucking plane, with its fucking wings folded in the upright position is like a fucking Transformer. Fuck my life. I couldn't help but turn to my girlfriend and remark, "No, that's how they fly."

Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:01:42 AM EST
2/10

waay too long.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:07:45 AM EST
I liked it - 10/10. Stupid people piss me off also.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:08:14 AM EST
Stupid:

Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:13:09 AM EST
I enjoyed the length. It was like unwrapping a finely crafted short story.
10/10
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:14:39 AM EST
1/10

Seems contrived, like the op went LOOKING for something to be pissed about.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:15:35 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:17:44 AM EST
America needs to stop blocking Darwin from doing his job.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:17:46 AM EST
2/10 The rant is well though out and spot on , however I was bit by a dog when I was 4 and don't like them. He has a dog in his avatar so I subtracted 8 points off my rating.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:18:12 AM EST
She pointed at the Avenger and started to ask "Is that..." silence. "Is that.." "That plane..." I could tell this woman was struggling to form a coherent thought, and it was at that time I said a silent prayer women in the early 1940s weren't as fucking stupid as this bitch or else the factories would have shut down and we would all be speaking German right now. "Is that plane ... like a Transformer?" she squeaked. In case you did not catch that I will repeat it. The woman asked if the fucking plane, with its fucking wings folded in the upright position is like a fucking Transformer. Fuck my life. I couldn't help but turn to my girlfriend and remark, "No, that's how they fly."


I laughed my ass off there.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:18:49 AM EST

Originally Posted By ANGST:
2/10 The rant is well though out and spot on , however I was bit by a dog when I was 4 and don't like them. He has a dog in his avatar so I subtracted 8 points off my rating.


1/10 because of what you said
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:21:53 AM EST
Originally Posted By Bloencustoms:
1/10

Seems contrived, like the op went LOOKING for something to be pissed about.


I swear to you sir, that is not the case. In all actuality this has probably been stewing for a year or so.

Thanks to my fans, and everyone else ... fair enough.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:23:52 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:26:19 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:27:41 AM EST
Agree 100%. I can't stand it when people leave reviews like, "It arrived 3 days late. 1 Star." Or, "It arrived damaged. 1 Star." Then go leave a negative review for UPS/Fed Ex/USPS somewhere else, retards!
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:28:31 AM EST

Originally Posted By 45FMJoe:
Originally Posted By Bloencustoms:
1/10

Seems contrived, like the op went LOOKING for something to be pissed about.


I swear to you sir, that is not the case. In all actuality this has probably been stewing for a year or so.

Thanks to my fans, and everyone else ... fair enough.
Perhaps I was a little too harsh. I'll give it a 5/10 for the "transformers", but I can't see getting all worked up over the reviews. If it weren't for stupid people, who would smart people get to do all the work?

Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:31:16 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2009 11:32:15 AM EST by asddff33]
6.5/10. The tiger direct part was long winded and contrived. Without that part you would get a 8 or 8.5
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:33:21 AM EST
Raged @ Amazon.

Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:34:12 AM EST
This thread crys out for the LOL WUT? picture!
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:35:43 AM EST
I need a lot of extra storage space for both my collections of Ass to Mouth Sweethearts 7 and Sally Takes 18 Dicks at Once While Jerking off a Giraffe at the San Diego Zoo Volume 3 and artsy photographs of birds and bridges and shit.


Too fucking funny man
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:36:37 AM EST
TL; DR
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:39:16 AM EST
I can't stand it when people post such trivial shit like this.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:43:03 AM EST

Oops, sorry. Wrong thread; Waste of bandwidth here.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:43:51 AM EST

Originally Posted By Furyataurus:
I can't stand it when people post such trivial shit like this.

Seriously? This is GD, you know...

Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:44:06 AM EST
I give this rant a 2.5 out of 10. Even though I haven't read it yet. I hear that you need a good attention span because it is fairly long.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:45:19 AM EST
Man, you sure look hairy in your avatar, dude. Nice glasses though.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:49:15 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2009 1:44:07 PM EST by Frost7]
tl;dr

However, I read half and it was excellent and I agree wholeheartedly.

EDIT: I just came back and finished it and laughed my fucking ASS off.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:50:40 AM EST
10

call me when open season on idiots starts.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:52:46 AM EST
Wow. Both those are excellent examples of retards using the internet.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:56:28 AM EST
Outstanding. 10/10.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:57:19 AM EST
6/10.

It was without beginning, without end, and too broad about the middle.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 11:59:32 AM EST
Originally Posted By Furyataurus:
I can't stand it when people post such trivial shit like this.


This.

You obviously live a near-perfect life if this trivial shit gets you upset. You need something serious to worry about.

1/10.

BTW, don't hold back. Let us know how you really feel. All that pent up anger is going to tear you up eventually. (I know, I know. "It keeps me warm at night.")
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:08:15 PM EST
10/10

OMG the insults... dying in his basement bouncing off the walls in a football helmet???? You, sir are a genius.

Is it a transformer? Did you ask her for identification and why she wasn't wearing her sign?
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:18:25 PM EST
Joe, I am going to give you a solid 10/10. You managed to capture my hate of stupid people in a heavily profanity laced manor. I almost subtracted 1 point because I know you and Shawn have facebook accounts but I took into consideration that you are also a Colt fan - so I let those two unrelated issues work themselves out with no net loss or gain. I can also relate to never having enough hard drive storage for porn. You did mention somewhere in there that you were with your gf in which case you know the drill - pics or it did not happen.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:27:47 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2009 2:14:29 PM EST by rufusrufgut]
When I see reviews like that I just skip over them and as far as the transformer thing I would have chuckled and rolled my eyes and moved on.Life is to short to get upset about the little things.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:29:06 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:29:52 PM EST
Lovely rant.

Avoid the Apple app store at all costs my friend.

Your rant and the people mentioned help prove stupid is the fastest speed in the universe. Once someone hits full stupid, we become tangled in it's wake turbulence. Force of nature.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:42:47 PM EST
Coherent and decently written, a rarity on Arfcom for sure. Quite funny as well. 9/10 cause there is always room for improvement.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:43:14 PM EST
Coherent and decently written, a rarity on Arfcom for sure. Quite funny as well. 9/10 cause there is always room for improvement.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:44:00 PM EST
I'd give you 10/10 for the sawzall to the scrotum alone.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:47:26 PM EST


Prolly a collar popper.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:54:38 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:56:09 PM EST
4/10

too lengthy. My goldfish attention span wore out after the first couple lines. But good use of cuss words.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 12:58:06 PM EST
I pooped a hammer.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:01:17 PM EST

Originally Posted By 45FMJoe:
"P-51 Mustangs are indeed bad-ass but I'm more into naval aviation so the Grumman TBF Avenger sitting in the corner is what really piqued my interest. There this beautiful piece of machinery sit, with her wings folded up, awaiting her routine maintenance after being flown in from her previous home. After the tour guide explained what kind of plane she was, he asked if there were any questions. One woman I would venture to guess is in her mid 50s immediately raised her hand. She pointed at the Avenger and started to ask "Is that..." silence. "Is that.." "That plane..." I could tell this woman was struggling to form a coherent thought, and it was at that time I said a silent prayer women in the early 1940s weren't as fucking stupid as this bitch or else the factories would have shut down and we would all be speaking German right now. "Is that plane ... like a Transformer?" she squeaked. In case you did not catch that I will repeat it. The woman asked if the fucking plane, with its fucking wings folded in the upright position is like a fucking Transformer. Fuck my life. I couldn't help but turn to my girlfriend and remark, "No, that's how they fly."

I she a typical Floridian? In my experience... yes.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:09:14 PM EST
10/10, I was rolling
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 1:52:56 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2009 5:32:28 PM EST by Frost7]
I love your story from the museum. It reminds me of me at air shows when I'm wandering around checking out static displays. People think I'm wearing earplugs to protect my hearing from the loud jet noises. I'm not. Well, actually, I am, because you see I need to fly too and to fly I need my hearing in good shape. But that's just secondary. The primary reason is so I don't have to hear the inane rampaging torrent of STUPID erupting from peoples' mouths. Because, frankly, if I hear just one more cheesedicked harebrained fat suburbanite motherfucker point to an F-16 and inform his cheesedicked harebrained fat surburbanite motherfucker buddies, who are in awe of his knowledge of aircraft, that, "Thar she is... the Eff Fowert Teen Tawmcayut" followed by some dumbassed comment about "Tawp Guuun" especially when there's this GIANT plaque in front of it that says WHAT IT IS along with all its performance data, there are going to be a lot of horrified crew chiefs later that day wondering why there are fat people impaled on various pitot booms all over the tarmac.
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 4:38:36 PM EST
10/10 because I dont understand all your fancy words so I assume they means smart things. and you did cuss a lot.

and your GF is as hot as 2 squirrels in a mailbox
Link Posted: 9/17/2009 4:42:57 PM EST
I applaud your progress young padawan. You have learned to hate the stupidity that controls most of humanity. But much to learn you still have. You must reach out with your hate, let it flow through you. Learn to hate not just stupid people, but all people. Learn to hate that cosmic farce which is mankind. Only then a moody loner with an assault rifle will you be.


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