Quoted: Crap.
Just spent an hour taking each fuse out one by one, under the hood and in the passenger compartment. Had the multimeter set to 15 DCV, and it was showing around 12V between the negative post and the negative wire. It stayed at 12V through all of the fuses.
I don't know what to do now...
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The instructions are slightly off:
Do what you did above, except make sure your multimeter reads current, in amps. What you're looking for is current draw with everything off. Connected as you did, you completed the circuit and you were measuring voltage.
Make sure the multimeter will read current, in amps, and have it on the highest setting it can go. Try not to open the door, don't try to start the motor or anything that will draw power, because you'll probably blow the multimeter fuse.
BTW: if you do go to the local Autozone/Advance Auto/etc. (they'll all test your battery for free), make sure the battery is charged up by putting it on a charger overnight or all day. The test won't work if the battery is low. Just cause it can start the vehicle doesn't mean the battery is charged.
Hope this helps.
Merlin