Posted: 7/11/2009 4:40:41 PM EDT
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http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1016034/how_to_pick_up_hot_chicks_pg3.html?cat=41
How to Pick Up Hot Chicks 1. Find A Chick. This step is the easiest. Basically, all you need to do for this step is go to a place where chicks hang out. Make sure you look stylish with your 80's style mullet, leopard skin shirt and leather pants with cowboy boots. This will show them you have a sense of fashion. Now, find the chick you want to pick up. Make sure she is not with another man or a ring on her finger. These are sure signs of a crash-n-burn. 2. Danger. After you have chosen the chick you want to pick up, you have to break the ice. For some reason chicks are attracted to dangerous guys. There are a couple ways to break the ice dangerously. Dive out of a moving car rigged with explosives. Then go up to the chick you're going to pick up and say, "Holy S-word, are you okay?" Her ideal answer will be something along the lines of, "No and yes." If this is her answer say something really romantic like, "Your eyes are about as pretty as that car explosion over there near the hobos." She will become interested in you with comments like that. Pat yourself on the back, man. Pick a fight with a bouncer. You will get a beat down but, hey, chicks dig scars more than cars (even though yours was pretty before the explosion). Hopefully she will come up to you and be all like, "Are you okay?" This is good news because this is where you say something like, "Yea, that bouncer was saying how you have huge ankles, so I asked him politely to stop because I thought your ankles were perfect size, and then he started punching me repeatedly in the skull. I'm sorry he was being a dirty butt-hole but I tried to defend you." If she doesn't immediately shove her tongue in your mouth, then I suggest you rip it out and put it in your mouth and move on to Step 3. 3. The First Move. After you have broken the ice, it's time to break the "touch barrier". What you need to do here is trip, fall, and grab a boob. She will like this because studies show, women like it when you fondle their boobs. If you are really good, when you trip and fall, shove your number in her bra while punching some guy in the back of the head. When he turns around to talk trash, bust out and dual-wield your .45 magnums and run out the front door of the club, mall, or other amusement area. She will find your number later and call you because you dual-wielded your .45 magnums. 4. The First Date. Strip clubs are a good place for a first date for several reasons. One, she will become immediately horny from seeing all the boobage. Mix that with the twenty-seven shots you give her and she will be putting out like it's going out of style. Two, if you're not feeling the vibe with her, you can always hook up with one of the strippers and and score that way. No matter what, remember to tip the strippers. They did leave nothing to the imagination. 5. The Bedroom. When things are getting hot and heavy, be sure to call out another woman's name. This will get her even more excited because she will think you have been with tons of other chicks. For more excitement, call out more women's names. Act like you can't remember what her name is. The more names the better because the more names the more experience you have. Break everything in sight by having some seriously rough "naughty time'". This will be amazing for the both of you and you really don't have to worry about anything because you won't be paying for any of her crap anyway. She still owes her half for the strip club anyway. Break everything in sight and you will be awesome. Say, "Hmm, you look like you need some hair gel." At this point "release" in her hair and say something like, "That's better, now go and style it." She will become insanely horny now because she is rubbing your goo in her hair. This is when she will want Round 2. After she initiates Round 2, go back and repeat from the beginning of Step 5. 6. Goodbyes. There is no need for any mushy goodbyes. Say something awesome like, "Sorry, but I don't date chicks with names like...like...whatever your name is" or, "Yea after your replace all this crap, you'll be poor. I don't date poor chicks." This will insure she never calls you again. Also, you can scare her away. Say things like, " I can't wait to tell all my shrinks about our night. They will like my progress" or, "Yea, I know i told you it was a cold sore. You can borrow some of my ointment because you will be poor after you replace all this crap and won't have enough money to buy some ointment." This guide is foolproof and if you have any problems with it, it is because you, sir, don't have game. |
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The easiest way to date hot chicks is to also be hot and have just the right combination of asshole + funny/sarcastic to keep them interested. I know, it's not what the thread is about, but I like to brag.  "Nurture your inner asshole" was the best advice I was ever given. 
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The easiest way to date hot chicks is to also be hot and have just the right combination of asshole + funny/sarcastic to keep them interested. I know, it's not what the thread is about, but I like to brag. hey, did the inflatable hot tub score you any babes? |
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Quoted:
The easiest way to date hot chicks is to also be hot and have just the right combination of asshole + funny/sarcastic to keep them interested. I know, it's not what the thread is about, but I like to brag. Not a A-Hole I still try to be Chivalrous, but I have extreme levels of sarcasm, I think might be a substitute, |
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Pretty much exactly how I do it. Word.
open it I dare you |
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Im very ashamed o admit that was the first CD i ever bought. |
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Im very ashamed o admit that was the first CD i ever bought. Could be worse.. 
Do not open |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
The easiest way to date hot chicks is to also be hot and have just the right combination of asshole + funny/sarcastic to keep them interested. I know, it's not what the thread is about, but I like to brag. hey, did the inflatable hot tub score you any babes? It was WELL worth the money. It may not have been responsible for me getting ass, but it certainly made the initial process easier. Once you have them in a bikini, in a hot tub, the rest just happens naturally. The most I had was 3 topless women in there at a time. Hooked up with one of them the next night. It was the "starting point" for many, many fun nights. Trust me, after fooling around for 15 or so minutes in 105 degree water, it's time to go inside and cool off. I'm in a serious relationship now, and wasn't using it as much so I sold it on Ebay. If the buyer knew its history, I'm not sure they would have bid on it.
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| Haha nice, I just personally walk around and wait for a slut to hit on me and then i just go with it unless she is fat or something. But I'll tell ya working at a restaurant is great, fast turnaround with hot flirty girls getting hired and quitting, the only thing i miss about working the food industry. |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Im very ashamed o admit that was the first CD i ever bought. Could be worse..
Do not open 
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