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9/19/2017 7:27:10 PM
Posted: 4/12/2002 12:31:41 PM EDT
http://www.dxpnet.com/news/1-1-39-1.asp Last Chance, TX(DE)- Amazingly the act to end one’s life ultimately saved it. "Steve Huey" was suffering from an inoperable and fatal brain tumor. Doctors had given him only two months to live, so Huey decided to end it sooner rather than face the pain. He wrote a suicide note and then placed the gun to his head and shot. Later, friends found him on the floor in a pool of blood. They called the ambulance and within hours, Huey was up and walking around. "His sense of humor was amazing, but even more amazing is his luck," remarked his doctor. The chances of him shooting out his brain tumor are 254 million to one. The bullet missed all of the vital parts of the brain and only shot out the tumor. Friends and family have urged Huey to put his luck to good use and buy lots of lottery tickets. "I tell him everyday ‘go buy a lottery ticket’ and ‘go bet on a horse’, but he just won’t do it. Sometimes he can be so stubborn," said a close friend. Doctors are cautioning to other terminal patients not to try what Huey did. They say there is no way that they help themselves, they will harm themselves severely. Huey is currently writing a book and is planning a national book signing tour. Also in the works, a movie and a sitcom based on his story. "I am a very lucky guy and I plan to turn this miracle into some serious cash for myself," said Huey in an exclusive interview. An auction is also in the works that will sell the gun, the hospital bill, and the tumor itself. "Any collector will love to own this tumor and should be willing to spend lots of money for it," added Huey.
Link Posted: 4/12/2002 5:04:52 PM EDT
And that folks just goes to prove that anything in this world is possible. 254,000,000 : 1. Holy Moley. Ben
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 2:51:27 AM EDT
Uh, Ben, This site is kinda like The Onion... Scott
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 3:31:55 AM EDT
Quick, someone forward this to Sarah Brady! Maybe she'll shoot herself in the chest.
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 4:42:33 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Ponyboy: Quick, someone forward this to Sarah Brady! Maybe she'll shoot herself in the chest.
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LMAO! [:)]
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 5:38:51 AM EDT
Great story but something aint right here. The tumor was inoperable but yet this guy did his own surgery with a gun. If this is true what does that say about the doctors who told him it was inoperable? Just wondering.[;D]
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 5:45:58 AM EDT
Don't be askin' too many questions [;)]
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 5:51:38 AM EDT
Sorry for the deep thoughts , but being in the medical profession myself I just HAVE to wonder about this! I mean what does this say about our health care system when a guy with a gun can "cure" his cancer that doctors say is inoperable?
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 5:53:23 AM EDT
More news from this site.... [url]http://www.dxpnet.com/news/1-1-39-1.asp[/url] DUCKS BARBEQUE LADY Minneapolis, MN (DE) – Apparently bread isn’t good enough anymore as ducks from a small pond decided they wanted to eat something a little meatier. Police say that they have never seen a crime so vicious and delicious at the same time. “It was really horrific,” police officer Stan Ochoo told us. “They try to train you for everything at the academy, but nothing could prepare you for this. But, I would be lying if I said I didn’t try a little of the BBQ. My compliments to the chef.” The victim was 44-year-old Olga Neever, who was a frequent visitor to the small pond. “She would go out there almost everyday on her lunch hour to feed the ducks. She didn’t have any friends, so I think that this was the only thing that brought joy into her miserable existence,” coworker Annie Pie told us. An eyewitness gave the Duncan Exposé an exclusive and chilling account of the brutal barbeque of Neever. “She sat down on a bench and started throwing bread crumbs to the ducks swimming in the pond. The ducks looked at the crumbs for a while, but none of them ate any. I thought that was really strange,” Clint Haugen told us. “Then, the ducks started walking closer and closer to the lady until she was surrounded by about fifty of them. At first she seemed happy, but soon she looked quite frightened. I began to eat my lunch and the next thing I know is the ducks have dug a pit and are roasting the lady alive. The whole experience was quite memorizing.” Investigators on the case are still looking for the ducks, but have narrowed in on two possible motives. “Either human-eating devil ducks from South America flew up here in the Spring or a charismatic duck began a cult who are eating humans to avenge the deaths of millions of ducks a year by humans. Either way I’m really scared that we’ll see more of these types of barbeques in the future,” detective Tony Morpho informed us. A local food company is hoping to cash in on the notoriety of the crime by selling a new barbeque sauce that they claim is based on the recipe of the sauce the ducks used on Neever. They hope to begin to market the sauce by the fall.
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 6:10:21 AM EDT
Ducks have discovered fire?? How do they light the matches, anyway? CJ
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 6:24:55 AM EDT
A Gun is a tool!
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 6:28:39 AM EDT
Are you sure some corrupt cop didn't shoot him? [:P]
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 6:29:17 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Firepower: A Gun is a tool!
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This guy is a tool!
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 9:20:55 AM EDT
ONCE AGAIN: This "news" site is like The Onion. It's like a joke kind of thing... Scott
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 10:25:33 AM EDT
254,000,000 to 1 is still better than the California State Lottery.
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 10:42:50 AM EDT
i ber hes glad he ddint opt for a shotgun. or a 45 for that matter.
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 2:49:09 PM EDT
Didn't you guys hear about the duck that went into the drugstore to get some Chapstick? He asked the druggist if he wouldn't please put it on his bill... FITTER out [;D]
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 4:25:28 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/13/2002 4:26:34 PM EDT by prk]
Friggin' media!! They are alsways blowing everything out of proportion. Obviously this guy may not be really cured after all. It just happened, and you're not considered cured of cancer until you survive more than 5 years. Someone ought to break the news to him, diplomatically. Has anyone notified this so-called Duncan Expose? [;)]
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 5:15:39 PM EDT
Originally Posted By c-rock: http://www.dxpnet.com/news/1-1-39-1.asp Last Chance, TX(DE)- Amazingly the act to end one’s life ultimately saved it. "I am a very lucky guy and I plan to turn this miracle into some serious cash for myself," said Huey
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Hahaha, it figures. What a douche bag.
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 5:20:43 PM EDT
New Pro Gun Ad.... Guns, it'll cure cancer.
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 5:22:16 PM EDT
IT'S A FRICKING JOKE SITE!!!!! Scott
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 5:30:04 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/13/2002 5:33:22 PM EDT by Moose]
Sad thing is that someone will actually pay money for that tumor he's going to sell. Just kidding, Scott...[:P]
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 5:40:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/13/2002 7:50:03 PM EDT by IMHO]
Benjamin0001: And that folks just goes to prove that anything in this world is possible. 254,000,000 : 1. Holy Moley. Ben muzlblast: Great story but something aint right here. The tumor was inoperable but yet this guy did his own surgery with a gun. If this is true what does that say about the doctors who told him it was inoperable? Justwondering. muzlblast: Sorry for the deep thoughts , but being in the medical profession myself I just HAVE to wonder about this! I mean what does this say about our health care system when a guy with a gun can "cure" his cancer that doctors say is inoperable? xanadu: Hahaha, it figures. What a douche bag. DScottHewitt: ONCE AGAIN: This "news" site is like The Onion. It's like a joke kind of thing... Scott Yes! A reference to "The Onion"! To those, except for DScottHewitt, and prk, the master of board code, who chimed in with their opinions, I'll offer an all time great "The Onion" quote: "You are dumb." Again, this quote does not refer to prk. His brilliance is demonstrated by his use of board code, and by his masterful interpretation and use of "smilies"! (He is not dumb!)
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 5:42:22 PM EDT
Did ANYONE read the other "story"? Ducks can't barbecue a person. They ain't got no thumbs to strike the Zippo... Scott
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 6:24:55 PM EDT
GIANT RABBITS IN RUSSIA Drivl, Russia(DE) - Scientists who have not been paid for the last two years say they are ready to unleash a wrath of terror the world has never seen. "We have animals. Big, hungry animals," explained lead scientist, Alexander Kurya. According to Kurya's demands, thirty-three giant rabbits will be released on Moscow if the scientists are not paid. The giant rabbits stand over twenty feet tall and weigh over 3000 pounds. Calls to the Russian government were not returned.
Link Posted: 4/13/2002 6:48:44 PM EDT
Originally Posted By IMHO: ..... prk: Friggin' media!! They are alsways blowing everything out of proportion. Obviously this guy may not be really cured after all. It just happened, and you're not considered cured of cancer until you survive more than 5 years. Someone ought to break the news to him, diplomatically. Has anyone notified this so-called Duncan Expose? .... Yes! A reference to "The Onion"! To those, except for DScottHewitt, who chimed in with their opinions, I'll offer an all time great "The Onion" quote: "You are dumb."
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Originally posted by prk: Friggin' media!! They are alsways blowing everything out of proportion. Obviously this guy may not be really cured after all. It just happened, and you're not considered cured of cancer until you survive more than 5 years. Someone ought to break the news to him, diplomatically. Has anyone notified this so-called Duncan Expose? [;)]
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Gotcha!! I'll offer an all time great "prk" quote: "You are dumber - you didn't notice - or know the meaning of - my winking smilie." [size=6][red]BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!![/red][/size=6] Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of [:K][:K][:K][:K][:K][:K][:K] -ing you!!!
Link Posted: 4/14/2002 12:20:16 PM EDT
Originally Posted By IMHO: Benjamin0001: And that folks just goes to prove that anything in this world is possible. 254,000,000 : 1. Holy Moley. Ben muzlblast: Great story but something aint right here. The tumor was inoperable but yet this guy did his own surgery with a gun. If this is true what does that say about the doctors who told him it was inoperable? Justwondering. muzlblast: Sorry for the deep thoughts , but being in the medical profession myself I just HAVE to wonder about this! I mean what does this say about our health care system when a guy with a gun can "cure" his cancer that doctors say is inoperable? xanadu: Hahaha, it figures. What a douche bag. DScottHewitt: ONCE AGAIN: This "news" site is like The Onion. It's like a joke kind of thing... Scott Yes! A reference to "The Onion"! To those, except for DScottHewitt, and prk, the master of board code, who chimed in with their opinions, I'll offer an all time great "The Onion" quote: "You are dumb." Again, this quote does not refer to prk. His brilliance is demonstrated by his use of board code, and by his masterful interpretation and use of "smilies"! (He is not dumb!)
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This can't be a joke... after all the story originated from "Last Chance, Tx" Who could make up something like that. I want an investigation. Also I protest your statement. I ARE NOT DUMB!
Link Posted: 4/14/2002 2:37:13 PM EDT
[;)]
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