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Posted: 8/30/2015 3:37:06 PM EDT
If it to the benefit yourself or others around you  ?

I find myself biting my tongue/ stifling myself quite often.  Most normal situations/daily life, i feel if i would voice my true words, i would be dead or hated even more.  


Cause my opinions are often of the extreme side of things,  i have to take caution, in how i respond, and rarely feel like i have fully expressed my opinion.

Any one else feel the same ?

For example, i was at my brother's and mine birthday dinner with my family.  My cousin's husband, who's law firm i use to work for, got fed up with the BS and quit.

He made 2 backhanded comments in regards to a subject on employment.  I really wanted to lash out on him for his comments, but all i did was roll my eyes and say "really" under my breath.  

I wanted to tell him that the only reason why the managing partner at the Tampa is office is till breathing on his own, is that i respect my  family, and how close we are to the owner of the law firm, and he has been a family friend for 35+ years. I also don't want to go to jail.

I also want to throw in his face, that since i left, 10 others left the same office, so there is  a cancer that can't be treated in that office.  A lawyer who made partner a month before i left walked out.    


I am sick of this, but feel i must remain stifled in order to remain in general societies good graces.....
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:10:46 PM EDT
Bump for replies or bashing.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:11:37 PM EDT
Too often
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:16:24 PM EDT
More often than I speak


Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:17:37 PM EDT
Professionally? I shut my mouth and my job as best as I possibly can.

Personally? I have close to no filter. If my friends and family don't like, or can't handle what I have to say, then I don't need to deal with them .
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:17:49 PM EDT
I was going to reply to your post but I thought better of it.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:18:34 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By josepha1:
More often than I speak


View Quote


I have to watch what I say at work.  If I get any more complaints I might get removed from the site.  I like to talk politics and I'm not afraid to call someone an idiot when their views are stupid.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:18:55 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By SouthEndXGF:
I was going to reply to your post but I thought better of it.
View Quote



Not really in a Give a fuck mood.  So, come at  me bro.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:19:35 PM EDT
All the time. I don't have the energy to argue with everyone I interact with who's wrong, so I keep my mouth closed a lot.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:20:47 PM EDT
Sorry but the true me can come out to play after a few drinks.   Most of the time as you all know to well, i just spout bullshit and stupid comments.



Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:21:22 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Jman78:
If it to the benefit yourself or others around you  ?

I find myself biting my tongue/ stifling myself quite often.  Most normal situations/daily life, i feel if i would voice my true words, i would be dead or hated even more.  


Cause my opinions are often of the extreme side of things,  i have to take caution, in how i respond, and rarely feel like i have fully expressed my opinion.

Any one else feel the same ?

For example, i was at my brother's and mine birthday dinner with my family.  My cousin's husband, who's law firm i use to work for, got fed up with the BS and quit.

He made 2 backhanded comments in regards to a subject on employment.  I really wanted to lash out on him for his comments, but all i did was roll my eyes and say "really" under my breath.  

I wanted to tell him that the only reason why the managing partner at the Tampa is office is till breathing on his own, is that i respect my  family, and how close we are to the owner of the law firm, and he has been a family friend for 35+ years. I also don't want to go to jail.

I also want to throw in his face, that since i left, 10 others left the same office, so there is  a cancer that can't be treated in that office.  A lawyer who made partner a month before i left walked out.    


I am sick of this, but feel i must remain stifled in order to remain in general societies good graces.....
View Quote


Think this falls under getting down with the pigs.  Just gets all over you.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:22:52 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By hcook:
All the time. I don't have the energy to argue with everyone I interact with who's wrong, so I keep my mouth closed a lot.
View Quote



Don't you get sick of it ?  

How close have you come to actually ripping the "filter"  and let loose with it ?

I was close at my birthday dinner, but didn't want to ruin it. My grandmother was worried that the dinner wasn't going to go well.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:23:43 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/30/2015 5:28:36 PM EDT by 444]
As someone who is well into middle age, I find myself very, very, seldom speaking my mind or saying anything that someone else might get pissed off about.
Like many people, in my younger days, I spoke my mind..............freely. Usually with stuff that was really none of my business.
I have also never been the type of person that always tries to prove other people wrong, or humiliate other people, or having to feel I won. I never was into trying to shoot holes in theories or opinions.  I also never really corrected people who were talking about something I actually knew about: like for example, guns. I would just let it go. There was nothing for me to gain by trying to show them the errors of their ways, so I just shut up.

Now, it's a combination of: I don't really give a shit. It isn't worth the hassle. I am old enough to realize that people who shoot off their mouth are annoying so I don't do it myself (very often)...............................................
I ask myself: is there anything to gain by getting into this conversation other than frustration, hate, and discontent ? If the answer is no, I just keep walking.

So, I stifle myself a lot.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:24:22 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By nightstalker:


Think this falls under getting down with the pigs.  Just gets all over you.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By nightstalker:
Originally Posted By Jman78:
If it to the benefit yourself or others around you  ?

I find myself biting my tongue/ stifling myself quite often.  Most normal situations/daily life, i feel if i would voice my true words, i would be dead or hated even more.  


Cause my opinions are often of the extreme side of things,  i have to take caution, in how i respond, and rarely feel like i have fully expressed my opinion.

Any one else feel the same ?

For example, i was at my brother's and mine birthday dinner with my family.  My cousin's husband, who's law firm i use to work for, got fed up with the BS and quit.

He made 2 backhanded comments in regards to a subject on employment.  I really wanted to lash out on him for his comments, but all i did was roll my eyes and say "really" under my breath.  

I wanted to tell him that the only reason why the managing partner at the Tampa is office is till breathing on his own, is that i respect my  family, and how close we are to the owner of the law firm, and he has been a family friend for 35+ years. I also don't want to go to jail.

I also want to throw in his face, that since i left, 10 others left the same office, so there is  a cancer that can't be treated in that office.  A lawyer who made partner a month before i left walked out.    


I am sick of this, but feel i must remain stifled in order to remain in general societies good graces.....


Think this falls under getting down with the pigs.  Just gets all over you.



I am really sick of taking the high road, why must i be the one who travels ?   I know, i know. Just sick of not letting my true feeling be known.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:29:59 PM EDT
Constantly.

I'm in the Army. 15 years and counting so far. And it appears the farther up the food chain I climb, the thicker the fucking idiots are. Seriously, I think our organization is only being held together by a hope and a prayer. A significant portion of my peers couldn't find their ass with both hands. We have frequent and worthless meeting of one sort or another, and it is blatantly clear who is squared away and who eats fucking crayons. They are coddled and carried until they retire. Takes everything I can muster to keep myself from blurting out the painfully obvious truth.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:30:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/30/2015 5:32:31 PM EDT by Jman78]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 444:
As someone who is well into middle age, I find myself very, very, seldom speaking my mind or saying anything that someone else might get pissed off about.
Like many people, in my younger days, I spoke my mind..............freely.

Now, it's a combination of: I don't really give a shit. It isn't worth the hassle. I am old enough to realize that people who shoot off their mouth are annoying so I don't do it myself (very often)...............................................

So, I stifle myself a lot.
View Quote



I always have stifled myself unless thoroughly provoked.  Just near the true point of not giving a shit anymore.  Just turned 37 last week.

Also, i tend to uncork, rather than rip off the filter.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:33:13 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By soldierman79:
Constantly.

I'm in the Army. 15 years and counting so far. And it appears the farther up the food chain I climb, the thicker the fucking idiots are. Seriously, I think our organization is only being held together by a hope and a prayer. A significant portion of my peers couldn't find their ass with both hands. We have frequent and worthless meeting of one sort or another, and it is blatantly clear who is squared away and who eats fucking crayons. They are coddled and carried until they retire. Takes everything I can muster to keep myself from blurting out the painfully obvious truth.
View Quote


I know the feeling.  I had to explain what deadline is to a Lt. who couldn't grasp the concept of not being able to take his vehicle to the field.

We had gotten a new MSgt from tanks, dude knew tanks but didn't know shit about LAV's so when I had to get some paperwork signed off from him. I had to almost break it down barney style without calling him a fucking idiot.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:38:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/30/2015 5:39:33 PM EDT by Papaw]
I used to speak my mind a lot more before I started taking medication.

Some folks are NEVER gonna take instruction, so why waste your breath?

As to family, I don't want to lose my sons or the privilege of seeing my grand young un's,
so I do bite my tongue, sometimes, when dealing with my kids.

Siblings? Fuck 'em, I WILL square them away.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:40:20 PM EDT
Think before you speak.  Speak less than you think.  Words to live by.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:43:04 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Darrellbear:
Think before you speak.  Speak less than you think.  Words to live by.
View Quote



I agree, but there are times when you need to be heard. Just not everyone will be pleased to hear you.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:44:08 PM EDT
I just bite my tongue most times.
Last week at work I really didn't speak for most of the day until I was grabbing some paperwork and a coworker said that one of our other ones was back and would probably leave the truck he was driving full of stuff and leave it for someone else to take care of and offload.

I snapped at our supervisor and told him what I really thought of the kid(protected class) and said if he leaves the truck like that then fuck him.
The supervisor tried to say he wouldn't do that while everyone else said he would. I called him out on the bullshit and said what everyone else has been thinking, the kid is a lazy pos and the only reason he still has a job is because he is black.

The kid was pissed that he had to stay around 5 mins extra to do what he was supposed to do instead of skipping out of work.

My bosses boss heard it all going down because I yelled fuck loudly and he asked me what was going on and I told him that everyone is sick of picking up this kids slack daily and gave an ultimatum of its either him or me. The big boss went around to get statements from all my other coworkers about this kid

So this Monday there is going to be a meeting and if I have to find a new job so be it but what I have a feeling they will do is just put a warning in his folder and it will go back to being the same old bullshit .

And people wonder why I don't talk much anymore at work, most of them can't handle the truth.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:48:25 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By MILLERLGT82:
I just bite my tongue most times.
Last week at work I really didn't speak for most of the day until I was grabbing some paperwork and a coworker said that one of our other ones was back and would probably leave the truck he was driving full of stuff and leave it for someone else to take care of and offload.

I snapped at our supervisor and told him what I really thought of the kid(protected class) and said if he leaves the truck like that then fuck him.
The supervisor tried to say he wouldn't do that while everyone else said he would. I called him out on the bullshit and said what everyone else has been thinking, the kid is a lazy pos and the only reason he still has a job is because he is black.

The kid was pissed that he had to stay around 5 mins extra to do what he was supposed to do instead of skipping out of work.

My bosses boss heard it all going down because I yelled fuck loudly and he asked me what was going on and I told him that everyone is sick of picking up this kids slack daily and gave an ultimatum of its either him or me. The big boss went around to get statements from all my other coworkers about this kid

So this Monday there is going to be a meeting and if I have to find a new job so be it but what I have a feeling they will do is just put a warning in his folder and it will go back to being the same old bullshit .

And people wonder why I don't talk much anymore at work, most of them can't handle the truth.
View Quote



Know how you feel. Dealt with the same issue at my last job.  Protected class and all.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:53:02 PM EDT
The more often you bite your tongue the better off you are.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 5:58:04 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/30/2015 6:03:29 PM EDT by StretchMaK]
I speak my mind. Don't care who hears it anymore. If you get butt hurt because I don't buy your bull shit that is your problem not mine.

If we keep biting our lips we are just letting those people we disagree with have control of the conversation.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:00:43 PM EDT
I dont bite my tongue very often, i just avoid people i know im not going to care for. Works well..
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:01:17 PM EDT
I find that there is absolutely no benefit to me to tell people what I think of them.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:06:21 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Whamo:
The more often you bite your tongue the better off you are.
View Quote


Truth. I need to recalibrate my mouth ASAP. Work is a meat grinder lately.


If nothing else I have learned to NEVER email anyone before 7:30AM.
All that pent up BS you are sleeping on comes out in 1st thing in the morning emails
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:08:25 PM EDT
All the time.  Mostly about politics.  
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:11:27 PM EDT
I used to stifle myself many times a day, just protect other peoples' sensitive feels.

I am getting better at translating my concept into something utterly PC but still irreverent and snarky.

Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:11:36 PM EDT

How long....do you start dumb threads


Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:11:41 PM EDT

I don't say shit at work except stuff that's work related or geek talk.  One of my coworkers tried to talk about Ferguson with me but I changed the topic quickly.  We have a LOT of minority workers and the last thing I want to do is start a race-related argument at work.

with friends... eh, i ... actually I tend to be quiet as well, unless I know they're specifically conservative.  the ones who argue liberal politics with me, i try to avoid talking to.  

family is different - they're all conservative
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:15:48 PM EDT
As you get older it becomes less of a issue.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:17:17 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By josepha1:
More often than I speak


View Quote



This.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:18:20 PM EDT
Not as often as I need to, I have little to no mental filter.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:20:41 PM EDT
95% of my thoughts don't make it through the filter.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:21:38 PM EDT
I am blunt, other people that are around me when I am talking to my employer or other employees cant believe what I have to say.  I was on the phone with him the other day and my family was in the pickup with me the whole time my wife was cringing at everything I said.  I don't strive for conflict but I don't candy coat issues.  It has worked for me for years now.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:22:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/30/2015 6:25:12 PM EDT by Dru]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By ZeroTolerance:
Too often
View Quote



This...... I really HATE watering myself down for folks who can't handle me at 100 proof..... It honestly makes me ill!



I try to avoid those people....separate myself.. but it's hard.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:23:14 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Avidrook:

How long....do you start dumb threads


View Quote


No one else seems to have a problem replying.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:29:15 PM EDT
I used to but anymore I'm fed up with the moran spouting off and nobody counters them, which they take as agreement.

So now I give my opinion/beliefs , don't get many arguing, I've had several people tell me I'm intimidating,

I honestly don't know why, I almost never get mad, don't think I've ever yelled, or even hardly raised my voice to anyone.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:34:39 PM EDT

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Jman78:
Don't you get sick of it ?  



How close have you come to actually ripping the "filter"  and let loose with it ?



I was close at my birthday dinner, but didn't want to ruin it. My grandmother was worried that the dinner wasn't going to go well.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Jman78:



Originally Posted By hcook:

All the time. I don't have the energy to argue with everyone I interact with who's wrong, so I keep my mouth closed a lot.






Don't you get sick of it ?  



How close have you come to actually ripping the "filter"  and let loose with it ?



I was close at my birthday dinner, but didn't want to ruin it. My grandmother was worried that the dinner wasn't going to go well.



Sure, I get very tired of it. I deal with customers all day long and my job could easily be terminated if I had a bad interaction, so for the sake of my family I control my tongue. Outside of work it comes down to severely limiting who I spend time with on a regular basis.



I've ripped off the filter a time or two, and in neither case did it make anything better. It made things worse because the only change was that they became angry.



 
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:37:54 PM EDT
Not often enough.  
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:45:03 PM EDT
FBHO
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:45:32 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By toothandnail:
I used to but anymore I'm fed up with the moran spouting off and nobody counters them, which they take as agreement.

So now I give my opinion/beliefs , don't get many arguing, I've had several people tell me I'm intimidating,

I honestly don't know why, I almost never get mad, don't think I've ever yelled, or even hardly raised my voice to anyone.
View Quote


I hear the same thing about being intimidating. I'm 6'2" 275# and I've been told when I speak passionately about anything that people are afraid. Couple that with a spotty filter and the beta males get uncomfortable
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:58:49 PM EDT
Im not one of those guys like my dad who "is just being honest" while he insults people for no reason but i dont have much of a filter.

I say what i need to say. I have always been a bit of a loose cannon and its served me well. Thats not true for all peoples situation.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 6:59:59 PM EDT
I dont,...that is why people think I am a Big A Hole...
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 7:06:22 PM EDT
Errrday
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 7:12:30 PM EDT
I held back at work for a long time, but the incompetence of others is really starting to get to me and I've been speaking out more and more.

It's probably not a smart thing to do, and will probably wind up costing me my job, but so be it.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 7:16:53 PM EDT
Try coaching 7th graders...

I have the 8th graders trained but this 7th grade bunch still have a lot of pup in them.
Link Posted: 8/30/2015 7:19:30 PM EDT
Truth.

To The OP, speak whats on your mind.

You'll be in better company because of it.
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By StretchMaK:
I speak my mind. Don't care who hears it anymore. If you get butt hurt because I don't buy your bull shit that is your problem not mine.

If we keep biting our lips we are just letting those people we disagree with have control of the conversation.
View Quote

Link Posted: 8/30/2015 7:21:05 PM EDT
a lot on arfcom lately.    











Link Posted: 8/30/2015 7:21:10 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/30/2015 7:21:34 PM EDT by mizzarley]
Only whenever I'm around family. Telling them what fucking tards they are seems to upset them.
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