Posted: 3/30/2001 6:13:32 PM EDT
Three guys go into a bar: a guy from Dallas, a guy from San
Francisco, and a guy from Boulder. They drank and got a little rowdy.
Suddenly, completely without warning, the Texan grabbed a bottle of
tequila, unscrewed the top, took a good swig, and threw the bottle
into the air. He then jerked a Colt .45 pistol out of his pocket and
shot the bottle, spraying tequila all over everything and everybody.
The patrons at the bar shouted, "Hey, bud, why'd you waste that
The Texan said, "Heck, it's just tequila. Us Texans go across the
border all the time and get all the tequila we want."
Not to be outdone, the Californian whipped out a corkscrew and
uncorked a bottle of wine. He poured some into a glass, swirled it,
sniffed, commented on the tart insolence of its bouquet, sipped,
tossed the bottle in the air, nicked it with a round from a silly
little chrome-plated pistol, and showered a couple of patrons at the
bar with wine.
The patrons, upset by the casual waste and general lack of concern
for their safety, expressed their displeasure and astonishment, to
which the Californian replied, "Well, I'm from Napa Valley, and we
have more than enough wine where I come from."
The Boulderite, a quiet observer up to this point, touched the
crystal hanging from his neck, adjusted his Birkenstocks, flipped
back his ponytail, put down his guitar, and borrowed a bottle opener
from the bartender. He popped the top off a bottle of Fat Tire beer,
hammered it back, threw the empty bottle into the air, pulled a 9mm
Beretta, took careful aim, shot both the Californian and the Texan,
and caught the falling bottle.
The patrons screamed in utter disbelief, "Why'd you do that?"
The Boulderite replied, "I'm from Colorado. We've already got too
many Texans and way too many Californians, but glass bottles, now
those can be recycled!"
And for anyone who doesn't know, that's a Boulderite liberal for you. A$$pain is the same.
Since it is called tourist season, can we hunt 'em?
Ha ha! That's pretty good.
Except in real life, the Boulderite scumbag would have pulled out a 3' bong and out-smoked the other two...
I can feel the love all the way down here in Austin...
Coming to Colorado...
Californians sell their one bedroom cottage w/o a garage and buy a 4000 square foot mansion and have money left over to furnish it.
Texans sell their ranches and find out they can only afford a one bedroom condo in downtown Denver.