[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Handshaking... (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 1/20/2010 11:13:59 AM EDT
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Ok, I've always been of the firm sure handshake camp...some guys seem to go overboard with a squeezing tightly, very hard handshake. And some have a limp/weak handshake.
Personally, I think the squeezers are the worst of the bunch. Just thinking out loud, I'm sick and have a fever...so If I don't make sense, that's why. 
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| i hate the guys who are too quick on the draw to start squeezing and they end up crunching your four fingers together... god damn son, wait till the crotch of our thumbs meet, THEN show me what you got. I think they are trying to psychologically intimidate you or something. all it does is irritate me. I dont have any problem telling someone I want a reshake. |
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Neither the Crusher nor the Dead Fish handshakes are appreciated. Firm but not aggressively so is always the correct answer. I return handshakes at the same level of grip they're delivered to me with. If someone wants to go for a bonecrusher, he's soon going to discover that I will win that game. One look at my forearms will suggest that to anyone who's paying attention. They're barely smaller than my biceps. It's genetic, runs in my dad's side of the family. I've got a strangler's grip if needed. CJ |
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Quoted:
Neither the Crusher nor the Dead Fish handshakes are appreciated. Firm but not aggressively so is always the correct answer. I return handshakes at the same level of grip they're delivered to me with. If someone wants to go for a bonecrusher, he's soon going to discover that I will win that game. One look at my forearms will suggest that to anyone who's paying attention. They're barely smaller than my biceps. It's genetic, runs in my dad's side of the family. I've got a strangler's grip if needed. CJ That, and I too will respond to a "crusher" with equal force...but it irritates me for some reason when they do that. |
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i hate the guys who are too quick on the draw to start squeezing and they end up crunching your four fingers together... god damn son, wait till the crotch of our thumbs meet, THEN show me what you got. I think they are trying to psychologically intimidate you or something. all it does is irritate me. I dont have any problem telling someone I want a reshake. Yep, I ask for a restart when people jump the gun. Sometimes it's unintentional, othertimes I think people mean to do it. Nothing is worse than a dead fish. Limpwristers. |
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Quoted: I think bowing is the way to go. Afterall, Obama is good at it.  Follow the leader? I probably shake the hand of 6-800 guys every friday at work (auto auction). Bugs the hell out of me. Especially when I know some of them don't wash their hands coming out of the men's room. I keep a big ol' bottle of sanitizer right by my computer.
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Can't decide which is worse. Bone crusher obviously has something to prove. Dead fish is really fucking creepy. Premature claspers are also a pain. They end up shaking your fingers (as another poster mentioned). I have noticed it's usually short people who give the crusher shake...maybe that has something to do with it. |
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The husband of one of my wife's friends has a limp wristed dead fish handshake. He's got skinny, bony, girly hands too. I have to wipe my hand off after shaking his to get rid of the feeling. Sick. Yeah the limp dead fish shake does suck...but I still think I hate the crusher shake more.
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Quoted:
Neither the Crusher nor the Dead Fish handshakes are appreciated. Firm but not aggressively so is always the correct answer. I return handshakes at the same level of grip they're delivered to me with. If someone wants to go for a bonecrusher, he's soon going to discover that I will win that game. One look at my forearms will suggest that to anyone who's paying attention. They're barely smaller than my biceps. It's genetic, runs in my dad's side of the family. I've got a strangler's grip if needed. CJ Admit it. Its from all the red tube (NSFW AT ALL for those wondering). We're on to you.
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Quoted: Neither the Crusher nor the Dead Fish handshakes are appreciated. Firm but not aggressively so is always the correct answer. I return handshakes at the same level of grip they're delivered to me with. If someone wants to go for a bonecrusher, he's soon going to discover that I will win that game. One look at my forearms will suggest that to anyone who's paying attention. They're barely smaller than my biceps. It's genetic, runs in my dad's side of the family. I've got a strangler's grip if needed. CJ Pics of forearms or GTFO. Anytime someone has given me a "bonecrusher" handshake I just assume I intimidate them and giggle to myself.  |
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Quoted:
Neither the Crusher nor the Dead Fish handshakes are appreciated. Firm but not aggressively so is always the correct answer. I return handshakes at the same level of grip they're delivered to me with. If someone wants to go for a bonecrusher, he's soon going to discover that I will win that game. One look at my forearms will suggest that to anyone who's paying attention. They're barely smaller than my biceps. It's genetic, runs in my dad's side of the family. I've got a strangler's grip if needed. CJ Pics of forearms or GTFO.
Anytime someone has given me a "bonecrusher" handshake I just assume I intimidate them and giggle to myself.
you know how I know you're gay? |
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Quoted: girls giggle, men chuckle Quoted: Quoted: Neither the Crusher nor the Dead Fish handshakes are appreciated. Firm but not aggressively so is always the correct answer. I return handshakes at the same level of grip they're delivered to me with. If someone wants to go for a bonecrusher, he's soon going to discover that I will win that game. One look at my forearms will suggest that to anyone who's paying attention. They're barely smaller than my biceps. It's genetic, runs in my dad's side of the family. I've got a strangler's grip if needed. CJ Pics of forearms or GTFO. Anytime someone has given me a "bonecrusher" handshake I just assume I intimidate them and giggle to myself. you know how I know you're gay? |
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I go moderate firm- if someone wants to play gorilla games i'll happily oblige them.
my wife's cousin does this weird one. you reach out with your right hand (as is typical), he reaches over with his left to shake your hand. it's freakin' weird- i don't like it. how do you get/keep jobs doing shit like that? |
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New presidents are taught by the Secret Service a way to keep from having their hand crushed at all the meet & greets they do. I taught it to a protectee once when I was on a long-term detail.
When you give someone your hand to shake, keep your index finger straight and extended along their wrist. What your shooting for is to have the point of your index finger just a bit past the ball of their wrist. This aligns your knuckles in such a way as to make it almost impossible for anyone but the Incredible Hulk or Plasticman from crushing your hand. It works. |
| I'm a cabinet maker and a power lifter and I work with my hands every day, so my grip strength is pretty high. That said, the super squeezers piss me off. Sure I can squeeze real hard if I want to, but I make my living with these things and I'd just as soon some gorilla didn't try to crush my fingers. Usually when it happens, I'll shake out my hand afterword and say something like "hey, I gotta use that thing tomorrow!". It usually gets a sheepish apology and a more civilized handshake the next time. I find the worst offenders seem to have something to prove, though I don't honestly always know what. |
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Quoted:
i hate the guys who are too quick on the draw to start squeezing and they end up crunching your four fingers together... god damn son, wait till the crotch of our thumbs meet, THEN show me what you got. I think they are trying to psychologically intimidate you or something. all it does is irritate me. I dont have any problem telling someone I want a reshake. This would make a great Seinfeld episode |
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Quoted:
i hate the guys who are too quick on the draw to start squeezing and they end up crunching your four fingers together... god damn son, wait till the crotch of our thumbs meet, THEN show me what you got. I think they are trying to psychologically intimidate you or something. all it does is irritate me. I dont have any problem telling someone I want a reshake. This would make a great Seinfeld episode Whaaaat's ... the deaaaal ... with ... haaaaaannnddd shakes? |
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I don't give a good rat's fuck how another guy touches me. In fact, the less the better. You could argue that the firm to death-grip guys are REALLY REALLY saying something about their flesh, and yours, and how much it means to be up against it. In fact, I prefer that other men refrain from touching me at all, if possible. I'll give a pass on funerals, weddings, and job interviews, but the rest of you homos just keep your bear paws on your life partners. Yeah, I said it...ya firm handshake queers. |
| I am a firm hand shaker. I don't try to hurt anyone, but sometimes I get the weak hand shakers and crush their hands. My uncle that runs a ranch in TX is a hand crusher, but thats just because he has very strong and huge hands. He crushes my hands, but not on purpose. |
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Pics of forearms or GTFO.
OK. http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/p/popeye.jpg 
Seriously, I could post a pic tonight if really needed. CJ Doctor Hartman: Sir, I think you should know these growths on your forearms, they're giant tumors. Popeye: <popeye talk> + oh dear. Doctor Hartman: Yeah, I'm surprised you haven't realized this is not how a human being is supposed to look. Popeye: <popeye talk> Doctor Hartman: And that speech thing and what you're doing with your eye? You had a stroke about seven years ago. Popeye: <popeye talk> Doctor Hartman: That you've managed to be walking around all this time, is nothing short of a miracle. Popeye: <popeye talk> Doctor Hartman: I'd say about two months. |
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Quoted:
I go moderate firm- if someone wants to play gorilla games i'll happily oblige them. my wife's cousin does this weird one. you reach out with your right hand (as is typical), he reaches over with his left to shake your hand. it's freakin' weird- i don't like it. how do you get/keep jobs doing shit like that? does he fence? fencers shake with there off hand.. for a righty its the left.. |
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Quoted:
I go moderate firm- if someone wants to play gorilla games i'll happily oblige them. my wife's cousin does this weird one. you reach out with your right hand (as is typical), he reaches over with his left to shake your hand. it's freakin' weird- i don't like it. how do you get/keep jobs doing shit like that? I have had people do this when their right was injured or something. I suppose he could be a militant left-hander, fighting the right-hander oppression. |
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I don't give a good rat's fuck how another guy touches me. In fact, the less the better. You could argue that the firm to death-grip guys are REALLY REALLY saying something about their flesh, and yours, and how much it means to be up against it. In fact, I prefer that other men refrain from touching me at all, if possible. I'll give a pass on funerals, weddings, and job interviews, but the rest of you homos just keep your bear paws on your life partners. Yeah, I said it...ya firm handshake queers. Lighten up, Francis. |
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I think bowing is the way to go. Afterall, Obama is good at it. Follow the leader? I probably shake the hand of 6-800 guys every friday at work (auto auction). Bugs the hell out of me. Especially when I know some of them don't wash their hands coming out of the men's room. I keep a big ol' bottle of sanitizer right by my computer. I'm with you on that one. All you have to do it watch people and see what they do with their hands. They stick their fingers in their ears, pick their nose, wipe their mouth with bare hand, and 50% don't wash after taking a dump. The guys with the sticky hands are the most disgusting. The whole hand shaking custom is probably responsible for the majority of diseases that are spread. |
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We should do away with the handshake all together. It passes all sort of germs. And there are all those people that don't wash their hands after the bathroom. The Japanese have it right. A slight bow and no physical contact. I'm not gonna bow to some other guy!  
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Quoted: Quoted: I don't give a good rat's fuck how another guy touches me. In fact, the less the better. You could argue that the firm to death-grip guys are REALLY REALLY saying something about their flesh, and yours, and how much it means to be up against it. In fact, I prefer that other men refrain from touching me at all, if possible. I'll give a pass on funerals, weddings, and job interviews, but the rest of you homos just keep your bear paws on your life partners. Yeah, I said it...ya firm handshake queers. Lighten up, Francis. Let's shake on it, doll.  |
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Quoted:
I don't give a good rat's fuck how another guy touches me. In fact, the less the better. You could argue that the firm to death-grip guys are REALLY REALLY saying something about their flesh, and yours, and how much it means to be up against it. In fact, I prefer that other men refrain from touching me at all, if possible. I'll give a pass on funerals, weddings, and job interviews, but the rest of you homos just keep your bear paws on your life partners. Yeah, I said it...ya firm handshake queers. +1 Keep your dick skinners to youself. |